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Something borrowed, someone's due

Ce script VO a été migré dans le guide de l'épisode.

SCENE I: Will and Grace's new apartment

(The living room of Will and Grace's new apartment. There is a kitchen to the right, with a door going to Grace's living area. To the left is a library. Will's bedroom is on the second floor, up a spiral staircase. Grace enters with her date, Bill.)
GRACE: Will? Will, are you here? (To Bill) Guess he's not here.
BILL: I love your new place.
GRACE: Ah, so do we. There's so much space, and it's such a great neighborhood. You know, I go to the same drug store as Robert DeNiro, who seems to be having protected sex.
GRACE: Come on, I'll show you my wing. (Grace and Bill exit into Grace's "wing." Will comes down the stairs.)
WILL: Grace, were you calling me? Grace? (Walks into the library.)
GRACE: (Entering) Will? Hello? Will? (Grace goes upstairs.)
WILL: (Entering) Grace? (Walks to Grace's wing)
GRACE: (Returning downstairs) Will? Will?
WILL: (Entering) Grace?
GRACE AND WILL: Stop!
GRACE: Hi.
WILL: Hi.
GRACE: How are you doing?
WILL: Good. On a date. Phil.
GRACE: Me, too. Bill.
WILL: Oh. Isn't this great? This place is so huge, we can have so-so dates with mediocre guys at the same time and not even be aware of each other.
GRACE: We're lucky ladies.
WILL: Yeah. So...see ya.
GRACE: Yeah. See ya. (Will returns upstairs. Grace exits to her wing. Grace reenters and heads to the stairs.) Will? Will?! (Whispers) Will? (Will returns to the stairs.)
WILL: What?
GRACE: Bill just said 2002 was the last palindrome year of our lifetime, and I laughed, and he looked weird. A palindrome is some kind of elephant, right?
WILL: No. It's a word or number that reads the same backwards as forwards.
GRACE: Oh! Oh... Bill's kind of dull. 'Night.
WILL: Yeah. (Grace returns to her wing and Will returns back to his room. Will runs down the stairs.) Grace! Ohh! Grace. (Grace enters from her room.)
GRACE: What?
WILL: Do you think Phil kind of smells like wet dog?
GRACE: I don't remember what Phil smells like. Go get him.
WILL: I can't go get him. It's, like, a mile.
GRACE: I'm not hiking all the way up there just to smell Phil.
WILL: Fine. Guess I'll just head back up. (Will leans against the kitchen counter.)
GRACE: What's wrong?
WILL: Need a minute to catch my breath.


SCENE II: Paddy's Pub in Yonkers

(Jack is taking Karen to the Pub. Karen does not know that this is where her mother, Lois, works.)
KAREN: What in the hell are we doing in this rundown Irish hole-in-the-wall? What's the name of this place, anyway? Molly O'Poverty's? (Karen follows Jack into the bar. A man is standing in Karen's way.) Back up, butt crack.
JACK: Kare, this is just my way of saying I'm sorry for springing your mother on you.
KAREN: Oh, that's sweet, honey. But why a filthy bar in Yonkers?
JACK: Because...if you take out filthy and Yonkers, what are you left with?
KAREN: A bar. See, now, that's why you're the president of "Nothing, Incorporated." (Karen begins digging through her purse.)
JACK: Whatcha looking for?
KAREN: A wet nap. I want to clean off the feted, reeking after-touch of the common man. (Karen pulls a five dollar bill out of her purse.) A five? What the hell is this doing in there? (Karen throws the $ 5 bill on the floor. Jack quickly scoops it up and pockets it.)
JACK: Hang on, I'll get us a waitress. (Jack gets Lois and brings her to Karen's table. Karen doesn't look up.)
JACK: Ok, um, I got one. What'll you have, Kare?
KAREN: Oh, I'll have a wine with a beer back and a vodka with a beer front.
LOIS: You know what they say-- "Beer before wine makes you feel fine. Wine before beer makes you feel queer."
KAREN: (Turns around) You! I thought that nursery rhyme sounded familiar! (Karen gets up and walks out, but Jack stops her.)
JACK: What's the big deal? (Karen sighs.) I mean, she seems nice, and she really wants to get to know--
KAREN: Nice? Honey. (Sighs) My mother is a con artist, ok? I send her a check once a month to keep her out of my hair. Yeah, my entire childhood was spent traveling with her from town to town, running scams on people. Never settling down. Just when I'd make a friend, have 'em over for milk and cookies... Bam! It was time to move on.
JACK: Karen, that's shocking. You drank milk?
KAREN: The last town we lived in, I fell in love with a boy. Heh. He had long blond hair, delicate features, soft skin... At least I think it was a boy. Well, anyway, I was in love. And he or she loved me. Until my mom scammed her, too. Then he left me. That was when I left home and never looked back.
JACK: Karen, this isn't something you can runaway from. It's not like a hotel bill or a crying baby.
KAREN: Forget it, Jack. There are some things you just can't forgive.
JACK: Wait. I can't let you do this. Look, when I found my father, it was too late to connect with him because he was dead. And I don't want the same thing to happen to you. So...please just go in and have one drink with her, ok?
KAREN: No! I got back in there, she'll pull me into one of schemes, and I'll be right back where I started from. I will absolutely not have one drink with her.
JACK: Three drinks?
KAREN: Well, she is my mother. (Karen follows Jack back into the bar.)


SCENE III: Will and Grace's apartment

(The living room. Grace is in her bedroom; Will is in his bedroom. We can't see them, only hear them yelling to each other through the apartment.)
GRACE: (Off screen) Will, I'm having a clothing crisis. Will you come down here?
WILL: (Off screen) No. You come up here.
GRACE: (Off screen) No. You come down here.
WILL: (Off screen) No. You come up here.
GRACE: (Off screen) No. You come down here.
WILL: (Off screen) No. You come up here.
GRACE: (Off screen) No. You come down here. (Beat)
WILL: (Off screen) No. You come up here.
GRACE: (Off screen) Please?
WILL: (Off screen) No, and stop bothering me. (The telephone rings. Off-screen, answering the phone) Hello? (Off-screen, yelling to Grace) Grace, I'm not coming down there!
GRACE: (Off screen) Will, I miss our old apartment.
WILL: (Off screen) Me, too. I wanna go home.
GRACE: (Off screen) Me, too.
WILL: (Off screen) Let's talk about this.
GRACE: (Off screen) Yeah, let's. (Beat) Will you come down here?


SCENE IV: Paddy's Pub

(Karen and Lois are talking.)
LOIS: You know, you can't go on hating me forever. I'm your mother. you got everything from me. Your looks, your guts, your ambition. The only thing you didn't get from me is that voice. That voice you got from your father.
KAREN: Yeah. No one could ever tell us apart on the phone. But this isn't about Daddy. Leave him out of it! This is about how you ruined everything for me as a kid.
LOIS: Oh, come on, Keeks. We had good times. Remember the summer we went to Lake George?
KAREN: Yeah, I remember I had to stay wrapped up in a blanket from head to toe cause you told everybody at the country club I was allergic to the sun, and if we didn't raise $ 10,000 for my operation, I'd have to live under the stairs for the rest of my life.
LOIS: And we fished.
KAREN: You used me, Mom. I was never anything more than a prop to you. The poor little blind girl with the big rack. Or the poor little welfare child with the big rack. Or the poor little gardener's daughter. With the big rake. It hurt me, Mom. I wanted a mother, not a business partner.
LOIS: Oh, Kiki. I am so sorry. Maybe I wasn't winning any mother of the year awards then, but, you know, we're different people now, but we're still family. I still love you.
KAREN: I see. So you reappear after all this time, say you're sorry, and I'm supposed to forgive you, just like that? (Lois holds out her arms. Emotional) Oh, Mommy, I missed you. (Karen hugs Lois.)
LOIS: Aw... Ha ha ha ha.
KAREN: Maybe we can start over again, but different this time. You know, without the lies, without the scams.
LOIS: You betcha. (Lois hugs Karen.)
KAREN: Oh...
LOIS: Just one more job.


SCENE V: Rob and Ellen's new apartment

(Will and Grace exit the elevator to the hallway outside their old apartment, now Rob and Ellen's apartment.)
GRACE: Oh! Oh, do you have any catsup?
WILL: Why, did you find another French fry in your pocket?
GRACE: No. No. No, I just figure if I smear it all over my body and act like I've just been attacked, and maybe that'll scare Rob and Ellen out of our apartment, back to New Jersey.
WILL: Forget it, Shaggy. We're just gonna stick with what we said in the cab, that we made a big mistake and we need to take the place back. (Will knocks on the door.) It's only been a week. Probably don't even like it anyway. (Ellen and Rob open the door.)
ELLEN: Hi, you guys!
ROB: We love it here!
ELLEN: Mm-hmm.
WILL: (Shrieking) We were almost attacked right in front of the building!


SCENE VI: The hospital

(Lois and Karen arrive at the hospital to run their next caper.)
LOIS: A hospital. (Karen sighs.) This is gonna be good.
KAREN: I cannot believe I let you talk me into doing this, trying to get some poor sap to sign his will over to you before he drops dead. No decent woman does that after 35!
LOIS: He's not a poor sap, honey. That sap shorted Enron at 56. Now come on. (Karen folds her arms across her chest and stops.) What's going on? What's happening? Why aren't you moving?
KAREN: Where's that thing I asked you to sign?
LOIS: What? That paper that says I'll never ask you to pull another con after this? You know, it really hurts me that you gave me that.
KAREN: Mm-hmm. Well, it's gonna hurt a lot more if you don't sign it. Fork it over, froggy!
LOIS: (Lois hands a piece of paper to Karen.) It's signed.
KAREN: Good thing I became a notary for that Chicago job we pulled. (Karen pulls a stamp out of her purse and stamps the paper then blows the ink dry. She puts the stamp and paper back into her purse.)
LOIS: Ok, now, I have been working this guy for months. And everything was going according to plan until he took a turn for the worse. So, I gotta close this deal quick, and I can't do it alone... (Karen sighs.)
LOIS: Which is why I brought in my poor, down-on-her-luck daughter who's also a little slow.
KAREN: (Sighs) How slow?
LOIS: Well, you were a cheerleader, but you never stopped clapping.
KAREN: Oh, it makes me sick to think I'm gonna help you bilk a man out of his hard-earned money. That reminds me, I gotta call Stan. (Looking around, to herself) Where's the phone?
LOIS: I'm gonna go in first. Here. Here, you change into this. (Lois hands Karen a bag and walks off. Karen sighs and looks in the bag…)
KAREN: Oh, good Lord. Look at this outfit! Is Grace in on this, too? (Gasps)


SCENE VII: Rob and Ellen's apartment

(Rob and Ellen have decorated their apartment. Ellen is sitting on the sofa eating ice cream out of the carton with an ice cream scoop. Rob is sitting on the edge of the sofa while Will and Grace make up a story.)
WILL: Well, there we were, crossing what the New York Times called the third most dangerous street in the country, and--and--
GRACE: And there he was-- The Upper Westside Slasher!
WILL: They said they caught him, but I guess that swarthy, one-eyed killing machine is back. Damn him. Damn him to hell!
ROB: So why is it that I haven't of this killer guy?
WILL: (Panicked) Who was that? (Will looks out the peephole.)
ROB: (Panicked) What What What?!
WILL: Probably nothing. At least nothing that can get in.
ELLEN: What is this? This sounds like some kind of urban myth. Right, Rob?
ROB: I don't wanna die.
ELLEN: Damn it, Rob. Pull yourself together! (Ellen sets the ice cream on the coffee table.)
WILL: (Screaming) Who was that?!
ROB: (Panicked) What?! What?!
GRACE: (Screaming) I heard it that time!
ELLEN: Ok! Ok, now, I don't know what you two are doing, but I know you're doing something, ok? (To Rob) It's one of their weird little "Will-and-Grace things." It's like that time they tried to get us to eat "dim sum." Come on, Rob, I gotta pee. (Rob helps Ellen into the bathroom. Grace sighs as she and Will sit down on the sofa. Will sits on a squeaky toy. He picks it up and tosses it on the floor.)
GRACE: Why does he have to help her pee?
WILL: I don't know. Couples are weird.
GRACE: Where'd you get gum?
WILL: Oh, sorry. (Will bites off half of the gum and shoves it into Grace's mouth. she starts chewing.) Well, this isn't working. We'll have to go back to Plan A.
GRACE: You mean tell Ellen the baby's not hers?
WILL: No. We just explain that we're very sorry, but we're taking the place back, and nothing they do or say is gonna stop us. (Rob and Ellen exit the bathroom.)
ROB: Ellen's water broke!
ELLEN: Baby's coming! (Giggles) Hee hee hee.
WILL: So...you wouldn't wanna talk right now? (Will and Grace bounce up and run out the door after Ellen and Rob.)


SCENE VIII: The hospital

(Will and Grace are sitting in the waiting area.)
GRACE: (Sighs) So we're not gonna get that apartment back, are we?
WILL: I don't see how. They're a family now.
GRACE: Well, I guess we deserve this. We were kind of awful. In fact, there's only one person I can think of that's worse.
KAREN: (Off screen) Hey, Grandpa, how about closing up that gown?!
GRACE: I swear, I was not gonna say that. (Karen enters. She has big hair, and she's wearing a grey skirt, red shoes, a little red purse, and a crafty pink sweatshirt that says "i loves me kitty" with a shiny cat on it.)
KAREN: Hey. How's it goin'?
GRACE: Oh, honey. (Laughing) What's this all about?
KAREN: Remember how everyone was so gung-ho about getting me back with my mom? Well, this is what happens. I'm poor, and I'm slow.
WILL: Karen, I am so sorry... (Snickering) that I don't have a camera right now.
GRACE: What are you doing? (Jack runs by, running past everybody.)
JACK: Will? Grace? Karen?
KAREN: Lois and I are pulling one last scam. I just can't say no to my mother. (Jack runs back in.)
JACK: Will, Grace. Kare. Oh, there you are. I was looking all over for you. (Looking at Karen's outfit) Oh, my God, I have that same shirt! Except, um, mine has a big rooster on it, and it says, "I love me big, red--"
WILL: Jack!
KAREN: Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this again. I mean, it was ok when I was a kid, but at a certain point, you just want a mom who loves you for you, not for what you can do for her.
GRACE: Well, if it's any consolation, we all love you because you're you.
WILL: Yeah, Karen. Sure, sometimes I give you a hard time, put you down, make fun of your drinking. (Beat) That's it. (Will sits down)
JACK: (To Karen) I didn't mean to put you through this. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm your friend, and I'm always here, no matter what. (A doctor walks by, followed by several medical students.)
DOCTOR: Now we're gonna see a 22-year-old sailor in spectacular physical condition having a tattoo removed from his buttock.
KAREN: (To Jack) Go. (Jack runs after the doctors. Karen pulls out her compact and fixes up her hair.) Yeah, it's pretty good, but not quite cheap enough. Grace, let me borrow that scarf.
GRACE: This is not a cheap scarf. Tell her, Will. Will gave me this scarf for my birthday.
WILL: Give her the scarf, Grace.
LOIS: Kiki... (Lois motions for Karen to follow her. Grace hands the scarf to Karen, who puts it around her neck.)
KAREN: Thanks. (Karen walks over to Lois.)
GRACE: (To Will) It was in an Hermes box.
WILL: Yeah, I'm gonna need that box back before next Christmas.
(Cut to Karen and Lois.)
KAREN: (To Lois) Ok, I'm ready. I figure slow-wise, I'm somewhere between Sean Penn in I am Sam and Sean Penn at home with his family.
LOIS: You know what? I can't do this. I can't take advantage of you. I-- You're my daughter, and I love you.
KAREN: I see. So the old guy croaked before you could get into his will?
LOIS: Oh, Karen, I'm shocked! I'm trying to apologize to you.
KAREN: Ah, restraining order from the daughter.
LOIS: I don't know how she got up here that fast. Start walking.
KAREN: So, uh, I guess this is it for awhile, huh?
LOIS: Yeah, I guess so... Just so you know, I'm never gonna ask you to do this again...
KAREN: Blah blah blah.
LOIS: No, no no. I mean it. I mean it this time. There are a lot of things I would like to do over-- I would send you to the proper schools, I would stay put, I would never have broken up you and what's his name. I mean, she was nice.
KAREN: Yeah...she was. I miss him.
(Cut to Will and Grace. Rob enters from the delivery room.)
ROB: Hey, guys, I'm a daddy.
WILL: Yay! (Will and Rob hug.)
GRACE: Oh, my God, that's great! (Grace and Rob hug.)
ROB: Oh, it's a beautiful baby boy. You should see the length of his boyhood.
GRACE: Oh... Can't wait.
ROB: No. I mean, I almost cut the wrong thing.
WILL: You know, Rob, about that whole westside killer thing-- We were just having a little fun.
GRACE: Yeah, yeah. It's really a great neighborhood. I mean, there really is a crazy man on the loose who cuts women's hair, but that's not really gonna affect you any.
ROB: Yeah, look, before you guys go on, I don't know how else to put this, but, um... Ellen misses New Jersey. She wants to move back. And I know we signed a lease, and I know you've settled into your new place and you're all happy there, but, um, do you think you could find it in your hearts to move back?
WILL AND GRACE: (Quickly) We can do that!
ROB: Oh, guys, thank you so much. Really. You're the best friends.
WILL: Ha ha. We are. Good friends. (Will hugs Rob.)
GRACE: 'Cause we love you. (Grace hugs Rob.)
ROB: Oh, by the way, Will, you're gonna pay for my boy's education.
WILL: What are you talking about?!
ROB: Will, you gouged me on the rent.
WILL: I...did not.
ROB: Will, I'm your accountant. You think I might figure that out?
WILL: (Stammers) Uh... Uh... Grace?
GRACE: Will, I am shocked!
Ecrit par manu1981 
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Le quartier Outlander vous attend toujours pour son Return To Scotland !!! il s'agit d'un quizz sur la série alors n'hésitez plus si vous êtes fan de la série !!! Seysey et grims vous attendent merci

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Et il y a aussi quartier Outlander qui vous attend toujours pour son Return To Scotland !!! il s'agit d'un quizz sur la série alors n'hésitez plus si vous êtes fan de la série !!! Seysey et grims vous attendent merci

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Le quartier CSI NY fête ses 10 ans ! Pour l'occasion, des petites animations vous attendent (quizz, concours et test de personnalité). N'hésitez pas, on vous attend là bas [Wink]

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Le quartier Outlander vous attend toujours pour son Return To Scotland !!! il s'agit d'un quizz sur la série alors n'hésitez plus si vous êtes fan de la série !!! Seysey et grims vous attendent merci

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ObikeFixx (22:15)

Bonjour. Vous pouvez désormais voter pour une nouvelle catégorie des Nathan James Awards: "Meilleur personnage féminin". Alors venez nous rendre visite sur le quartier The Last Ship

DGreyMan (23:08)

Nouveau sondage musical dans Angel ! Merci d'avance pour votre participation...

seriepoi (15:07)

Je sais que je m'y prends tard mais un nouveau sondage est disponible sur le quartier "True Blood". Quelques votes seraient la bienvenue, merci

Rejoins-nous !

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