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301 : Script VO

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Eric, Kelso and Fez

ERIC (with an Etch a Sketch in his hands): Man, who'd have thought? Hyde getting busted for possession. I mean, I always thought it'd be, like, armed robbery or... pimping. You know, something cool.

KELSO (giggling): Yeah, Hyde in jail. Hey, guys, do you think he's anyone's girlfriend yet?

FEZ: Kelso, he's been in jail for three hours. Of course he's someone's girlfriend. He has very pretty eyes.

ERIC: Well, if he was someone's girlfriend, I think it might look something like this (he shows a drawing he made with the Etch a Sketch)

KELSO: Yeah (talking to the drawing) Hey there, curlicue, would you like to perform an unspeakable act on me... or would you prefer that I perform one on you? (High-pitched Voice) Well, they both sound good. Dealer's choice.

FEZ (taking the drawing): You have done a horrible thing with a children's toy.

A hand takes the Etch a Sketch from Fez

HYDE: Huh. Bet you didn't want me to see this, did ya?

ERIC (taking the Etch a Sketch and shaking it): Hey! Welcome back, man! We were worried about...I'm sorry. I'm just....I'm so sorry.

KELSO: Yeah, uh- You know, curlicue... is- can be - is a term of endearment.

FEZ: So, when do we meet your new fella?



Red is sitting down at the kitchen table. Kitty is standing

KITTY: Red, we really need to talk about...

RED: No. No. No!

KITTY: Steven!

RED: No! I don't want to talk about Steven! Subject closed.

KITTY: Red...

RED: For God's sakes, Kitty. We took him into our home. We treated him like our
own son.

ERIC (looking into the fridge): Treat him better than your own son.

RED: I'll tell you one thing. I'm not bailing him out. He can rot in that jail, for all I care.

ERIC: Actually, uh, they already let him out. Gave him probation.

RED: Probation? Well, isn't that just ducky? You know how they treat their
criminals in Russia? First offense, five years in Siberia. Second offense, ten years. Believe you me, there is no third offense.

KITTY: Unless the criminal likes to make snow angels. Ahahahaha!

RED: Hey. Steven brought that stuff into my house. And I'm puttin'a stop to it before things get out of control.

KITTY: Oh, out of control how?

RED: Well, I'll tell you how....


Black and white 1930's shot of the Forman porch with the title "The Dope Fiends".

Hyde is standing on the porch with a hat on his head. Eric walks out with a bunch of flowers in his hand. He is also dressed like someone from the 1930's

HYDE: Say, chum, where ya headed?

ERIC: Just to see my best girl Donna, that's where. We're gonna split a soda pop. It'll be keen.

HYDE: Soda pop, eh? I have something that's even keener than soda pop. It's called marijuana.

ERIC: "Mari-what-a"?

HYDE: Come. I'll show you (he throws the flowers away)


Ragtime music is playing and Jackie is dancing on it like a madwoman. Kelso is sitting in a chair laughing hysterically

ERIC: Hyde, you were right. Marijuana's the bee's knees.

HYDE: Yep. All it takes is one puff to make you hopelessly addicted.

ERIC: I am... hopelessly addicted.

Kelso is still laughing hysterically. Fez comes in with a bag

FEZ: Here's a new shipment, fresh from whatever-the-hell country I am from.

Donna walks in

DONNA: Gee whillikers, Eric. Where have you been? You missed choir practice.

ERIC: Sorry, dollface. But now, thanks to marijuana, I'm incurably insane.

Close-up shots from Eric's head, sweating and looking terrified, then back to the living room

DONNA: Well, I'm not gonna let a swell kid like you ruin your life (she takes the bag from Eric and tries to walk off)

HYDE (drawing a gun and pointing it at Donna): Not so fast, sister. I need that for the schoolchildren.

ERIC: No! (he wrestles with Hyde over the gun) GUNSHOT, Donna falls to the floor

DONNA: Alas, marijuana has ended my young, promising life.

Red comes in through the front door

RED: This is what's happening all over America. And it could happen in your home, or yours, or yours!


Back in the 70's

KITTY: I just don't think that's gonna happen, Red.

RED (to Eric): Has Hyde ever pressured you to use this stuff?

ERIC: No. Absolutely not. In fact...Yeah, I can honestly say I have never felt any

Red smiles and pats him on the shoulder


Hyde is sitting at a table, Jackie walks up to him from behind and puts her hands over his eyes

JACKIE: Guess who?

HYDE: It's either Jackie or the cold, clammy hands of death.

JACKIE: It's Jackie!

HYDE (sighs): Damn it.

JACKIE: Oh, Steven, my hero. When that cop found my bag, and you said it was
yours, and they sent you to the big house... it was, like,the most romantic thing

HYDE: Yeah, maybe for you. I was deloused.

Leo comes out of the toilet

LEO: Hey, man, you missed your shift at the Fotohut. You better have a damn good excuse.

HYDE: I got busted.

LEO: Damn. That's a good excuse. So what'd they get you for?

JACKIE: For loving me (she takes Hyde's hand)

LEO (laughs): 'Cause she's, like, 14 ?

HYDE: I got busted for possession.

LEO: Oh, man. Join the club.

HYDE: Yeah, thanks.

LEO: No. I mean, join the club, man. We meet every Thursday. We're tryin' to
raise money for a field trip to Amsterdam.


Red is taking out the trash, Bob and Midge walk up to him

RED: Hey there, Red. Takin' out the trash, I see (clears throat) Yeah, well, better
late than never.

RED: Is that supposed to mean something, Bob?

BOB: No. Just happened to notice that that low-life Hyde you've been harboring...
has been busted for possession.

MIDGE (gasps): My gosh! That stuff was right here in our own neighborhood? And to think of all the times we had to drive across get it!

BOB: X-nay, Midge!


Red, Laurie, Hyde, Eric and Kitty are sitting down having breakfast

KITTY: you all know, we had a little incident yesterday. And I think that as a family, we should discuss rational solutions... to make sure that this never happens again.

LAURIE: Can I start? Um, I'm not comfortable living with a criminal. I think we should kick Hyde out. All in favor?

KITTY: Laurie, stop it. Red, what do you think?

LAURIE: Kick him out! Kick him out! Kick him out! Kick him out!

KITTY: Laurie, there is no way we're kicking Steven out.

RED: Steven, we're kicking you out.

LAURIE: Yay, Daddy!


ERIC: What? Dad, that's not fair.

RED: Not fair? I took him in. I gave him a shot. He blew it. It's his fault. Look, I
don't want it in my house. I don't want it around you two. I just don't want it!

KITTY: Red, putting him out on the street is not the solution. This young man needs our guidance now more than ever.

HYDE: No, Mrs. Forman. It's cool. If, uh, Red thinks that I'm not good enough to live in this house... then I guess I'm not (he gets up and walks out)

ERIC (shouting): You know what? You're....You're bull....I'm....You're very....I'm...I'm very mad at you! (he walks off)


Kelso, Fez, Donna and Eric watch Hyde pack his things

ERIC: God, this sucks! I can't believe Red's kicking you out. I mean, I'm sorry,
where are you supposed to go?

HYDE: I'm gonna go to the Fotohut. I'll sleep on the floor. They got a hose out back. Mrs. Forman made me a sandwich.

Fez is smelling Hyde's sandwhich

ERIC: Man, this is so wrong! Look I'm not gonna let you get kicked out for
something we all do.

KELSO: Hey, hey, don't go draggin' me into this.

ERIC: You know what? I'm gonna tell Red that I do it too.

ALL: No!

DONNA: Have you suddenly become the stupidest man ever? I mean, is Kelso no longer the reigning king?

KELSO: Oh, I'm the king.

ERIC: This can work. If I tell Red, then he's gonna be a hypocrite for kicking you out... and not making me go with him. Because, I mean, he can't kick me out. Because, deep down, he loves me.

HYDE: Look, Forman. I appreciate what you're trying to do, you know? But you getting into trouble is not going to help me get out of trouble, okay? Okay?

ERIC: Okay.

HYDE: Okay. Everybody just stop worrying, all right? I'll be fine.

FEZ: Yes. It will be good for you in the Fotohut. Maybe you will develop some
character (laughs)  Get it? Develop? (laughs, everyone else is silent) Oh, fine. I
guess I'm not funny. Kiss my brown ass.


Red is sitting in his chair, Leo is sitting on the couch

KITTY: Here's your tea, Leo.

LEO: Oh, wow. Tea, man. That's, like, exotic (giggles) Hey, look at me. I'm the king of England! Off with her head. Tea (giggles)

KITTY: Well, um... I think it's great that Steven has a boss who cares enough come over and talk to us on his behalf. So, um, I'm just gonna let you fellas get to know each other. Sit up straight, Leo (she leaves)

LEO: Hey, man, I don't think you should kick Hyde out, because he's a good kid.

RED: He's a doper.

LEO: Well, you say that like it's a bad thing, man. Hey, I'm gonna let you in on a
little secret. I've indulged once or twice myself.

RED (sarcastic): Really? I'm shocked.

LEO: Yeah, I know. Upstanding businessman. Last guy you'd expect. But it's true, man.

RED: Well, Mr... Hippie. If you say so, that's good enough for me (he gestures to Leo)

LEO: Oh, that's great, man (he folds himself comfortably on the couch) Now, please, get out of my house.


Jackie is humming and writing

DONNA: Okay, what are you writing? (reads aloud)  Jackie and Steven Hyde. Mrs. Jackie Hyde. Dr. And Mrs. Steven Hyde? All right, what's going on?

JACKIE: Okay. Donna, Steven and I are in love!

DONNA: Um, you do know that he once compared you to a tick, right?

JACKIE: Oh, really? Well, if he thinks I'm such a tick...then why'd he tell the cops the bag was his when it was actually mine?

DONNA: Are you telling me that bag was yours?

JACKIE: Yeah! And he went to jail for it! Isn't that fabulous?

DONNA: Oh, my God. You... tick! You're the reason this whole mess happened.

JACKIE: Oh, Donna, stop. My head is-Whoo!

DONNA: Jackie, you have to tell the Formans what happened. Do you know that Red is kicking Hyde out?

JACKIE: Oh, God. No, no, Donna. That's perfect! When Hyde is on the streets,
he'll have to turn to me. And as I care for him and buy him stuff, his love for me will grow.

DONNA: Oh, my God. Fine. I'm telling them.

JACKIE: No! No, no, no. You cannot ruin this for me, moose!

DONNA: Don't tell me what to do, midget.

JACKIE: No! (she jumps on Donna's back and they fall to the floor)


Red, Kitty and Donna are sitting at the kitchen table

KITTY: Well, well. Turns out you were all wrong about Steven. And you wanted to
kick him out.

RED: Yes, well...Thanks for telling us the truth, Donna.

KITTY: And we know it wasn't easy for you... especially with Jackie choking you
the whole time.

Steven walks into the kitchen with his bags all packed. He throws some keys on the table

RED: Um, Steven, wait. You can stay (he hands him back the keys)

HYDE: Cool (he takes the keys and walks to the basement)

KITTY: Wait, wait, wait. Wait (to Red) That's it? Isn't there anything else you would like to say to this brave and noble young man?

RED (sighs): You're right, Kitty (to Hyde) Dumb-ass! Do you realize that you put your entire future at risk?

Red starts to drone on: What kind of a moron would go and take the fall for some little- Crying and crying and crying. WWhen she's upset, I'm upset...And the next thing you know- I had to have tea with that greasy old hippie. And now I have hippie stink on my couch. Let me tell you something else. If you ever do anything like that again...I will kick your ass so hard your nose will bleed!

KITTY: And we love you.

HYDE: So, uh, just so I'm clear...everything's back to normal, right?

RED: Yeah, yeah, everything's back-

ERIC (storming in): All right, Dad! I've got something to say!

DONNA: Eric, for the love of God, don't.

ERIC: Dad, I do it too. That's right. So you can't kick Hyde out.

KITTY: Honey, we already decided not to kick Hyde out.

ERIC: Oh. Then...yaaayyy.....

RED: So, you do it too, huh? Since when?

ERIC: Since when? (he looks at Hyde)

HYDE: Uh.....

Cut to the Forman basement with a very young Hyde, Eric and Kelso. Hyde lights up some incense

YOUNG ERIC: I am so baked. I think. No, yeah, I am. I think.

YOUNG KELSO: You know, guys, I've been living my life all wrong. All I ever thought about was school....studying, reading, homework. Well, that's over. Thanks, Hyde.

YOUNG HYDE: Hey, man, don't thank me. Thank my mom. If she hadn't have passed out, I couldn't have raided her stash.

YOUNG KELSO: You have the best mom ever.

YOUNG HYDE: Hey, guys, you know what? Yesterday, I was wrestling with Donna. And I felt her boob. It was beautiful... and squishy.

YOUNG KELSO: Squishy. Hey, guys, I had this dream that I was kissing my English teacher. And when I woke up, I was stuck to my bed.

YOUNG HYDE: Kelso, man, that's not normal. You could die. Hey, isn't your English teacher a guy?

YOUNG KELSO: Yeah. Noo! I meant my Spanish teacher. She's a girl. Man! What's in this stuff?

YOUNG ERIC: Hey, guys, I'm having the best time ever. I think. No, yeah, I am.

Back to the Forman kitchen, Eric and Hyde are staring into space

RED: Eric? Eric! Are you on it right now? I asked you a question. Since when have you been using this?

ERIC: Uh, 'bout a week ago tomorrow.

DONNA: Um, what? Yeah! Coming, Mom! (she runs off)

KITTY: Okay. Okay, now. You're both smart boys. What were you thinking?

ERIC: Well, l- I'm not-

HYDE: Oh, oh, um....The problem was that we weren't thinking.

ERIC: We weren't thinking. And, you know, with the times... we're living in.

HYDE: Yeah, the times are, like....

ERIC: And, um...

KITTY: Peer pressure.

ERIC: And the peer pressure. Thank you, Mom.

HYDE: Yeah.

ERIC: Yeah, and I found that today, the need to experiment.....

RED: Oh! Don't try this blaming society crap with me. You know whose fault this is? Do you? Do you?

ERIC: Well, I have a pretty good idea.

RED: It's mine.

ERIC: Oh. All right.

HYDE: Okay.

RED: The problem is... I've been too lenient. So, from now on, no more easygoin', devil-may-care, everybody's-best-friend dad.

KITTY (laughing nervously):  I'm just.....I'm so very nervous.

RED: I'm cracking down. And I'm cracking down hard. Starting right time is over! (he leaves)

ERIC: So where was I for fun time?


KELSO (to Donna): Take it back!

DONNA: No, Kelso. I'm sorry. Confessing to Red makes Eric the king.

KELSO: Hey, I shot my toe with a B.B. Gun once.

DONNA: You're right, Kelso. You're the king.

KELSO: Thank you!

DONNA (to Eric): I mean, when I say, "For the love of God, don't." Then, for the
love of God, don't.

ERIC: Donna, that could have meant anything.  Okay. I'm sorry. I made a terrible mistake.

JACKIE: All right, excuse me. But I think we've all lost sight of what's really important here. We're in love.

HYDE: All right, all right. You know what? Enough of your girly fantasy crap. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for you. So get this through your little Easy-Bake Oven head:  I don't love you. I don't like you. I can barely stand to look at you. Okay?

JACKIE: Oh, Steven, you're such a bad liar! (she hugs him)

Red comes in and sniffs around

RED: All right. Well, don't mind me. I'm just here to install this... smoke detector.

KELSO: Smoke detector? Does that detect any kind of smoke?

DONNA: Long live the king.



YOUNG ERIC: Hey, guys, look what I found in my sister Laurie's drawer. Mints. A whole month's worth.

YOUNG KELSO (eating one): They're not minty.

YOUNG HYDE: They're not mints. They're birth control pills, you headgear-wearing moron.

YOUNG KELSO: Hey, when I grow up, I'm gonna be handsome.

YOUNG HYDE: Really? Did your Mommy tell you that?


YOUNG ERIC: Kelso, you're the king.


Ecrit par orelye 
Participe au jeu HypnoTrain en publiant des sondages
Instructions | Teaser | Listes des gares
Gagne un DVD de la série Teen Wolf saison 1
Gagne un DVD ou Blu-Ray de Au Bout du Tunnel
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stanary (23:40)

Jusqu'à demain...

Sonmi451 (23:41)

c'est dans 20 minutes CB' va survivre surtout qu'elle part souper ^^

Sonmi451 (23:41)

20 minutes c'est très bien pour souper ^^

stanary (23:41)

Non mais tu casse tout !

Sonmi451 (23:42)

ouais je sais

stanary (23:43)

Bon bonne sonmi ! Tu verras demain

stanary (23:43)

* bonne nuit

Sonmi451 (23:43)

si je suis là oui ^^

serieserie (09:42)


Sonmi451 (10:39)


serieserie (10:43)

ça va?

Sonmi451 (10:43)

miss², tu as un l qui a poussé pendant la nuit. ^^

Sonmi451 (10:44)

nuit pourri encore de bébé no comprendo mais sinon ça va et toi?

serieserie (10:48)


serieserie (10:48)

oh pas cool

Sonmi451 (10:51)

tous les sondages sont présents pour l'HT ce matin?

serieserie (10:51)

aucune idée

Sonmi451 (10:52)

je vais voir...

Sonmi451 (10:53)

tout à l'air bon

Sonmi451 (10:54)

bon nouvelle semaine

Sonmi451 (10:54)

veut dire nouveau programme!

Sonmi451 (10:54)

et de nouveau seul avec les enfants

serieserie (10:54)


Sonmi451 (10:54)

Et toi tu bosses?

serieserie (10:54)

non j'ai pas cours

serieserie (10:55)

donc je dors sur mon lit ^^

Sonmi451 (11:01)

pourquoi d'habitude tu dors ailleurs? ^^

Sonmi451 (11:01)

tu as bien dormi?

serieserie (12:14)

mdrr non x)

serieserie (12:14)

ouais ça va

Merlinelo (16:32)

Hé, ceux qui sont passé à l'airways sur le quartier Orphan Black, vous savez qu'on vous a répondu il y a longtemps? ^^

Seriesmdr1 (19:16)

Bonjour à tous ! Thème en vote dans vos préférences pour le quartier Orange is the new black! N'hésitez pas à faire un petit tour ! Un nouveau sondage et un débat sont en cours ! Merci ! Bonne soirée !

serieserie (09:31)

Joyeuses Pâques!
Vous avez jusqu'à demain soir minuit pour chercher les œufs cachés sur la citadelle!

Phoebus (05:57)

Bonjour, Joyeuses Pâques! Bonne chance pour ceux cherchant encore les œufs. J'en profite aussi pour faire un peu de pub et rappeler qu'ils vous reste plus que quelques jours pour voter pour la meilleur photo de la seconde partie de saison 8 de The Vampire Diaries sur le quartier de la série. Bonne journée.

SeySey (08:50)

Bonjour! Fan de "Outlander"? Sachez que le trailer officiel de la saison 3 vient d'être révélé!!! N'hésitez pas à venir nous rendre visite et nous donner votre avis

ObikeFixx (10:25)

Bonjour. Vous pouvez toujours venir sur le Nathan James et découvrir le calendrier et le sondage du mois sur le quartier The Last Ship. Bonne journée

emeline53 (17:40)

Joyeuses Pâques à tous ! Pour fêter ça, venez élire votre personnage préféré chez The Fosters !

alExiaN (20:03)

ce soir c'est papotage et jeux pour les 12 ans du quartier Veronica Mars, on vous attend !

Locksley (08:43)

Bonjour ! Nouveau jeu HypnoChance ! Inscrivez-vous au tirage au sort pour tenter de gagner un DVD du thriller "Au bout du tunnel". Bonne chance !!

Seriesmdr1 (11:09)

Nouveau design sur le quartier Orange Is the new black. N'hésitez pas à venir donner votre avis ! Merci d'avance ! Bonne journée a tous !

choup37 (18:31)

Episode 2 de la nouvelle saison de Doctor Who diffusé ce soir Toutes les infos sur le quartier!

Locksley (08:49)

Bonjour la citadelle ! Depuis ce matin, ce n'est pas 1 mais 2 jeux-concours HypnoChance auxquels vous pouvez participer !

Locksley (08:53)

Des DVD du film "Au bout du tunnel" sont en jeu ainsi que des coffrets Teen Wolf Saison 1 ! Enjoy et bonne chance !

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