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The Forman Kitchen


[Red enters from the driveway to find Kitty and Eric at the table]


Red : Eric. What are you doing eating?

Eric : Well it’s mainly for survival. But I also enjoy the fruity taste.

Red : I told you to replace the hub cap on the Vista Cruiser. So what is it? You’re mature enough to get married, but not mature enough to replace a hub cap?

Eric : Well let’s see. You took away my keys so I can’t drive. And you took away my job so I can’t afford a new hub cap. You also took away my self esteem so I have no pride in my job or my possessions.

Kitty : For gosh sake, you’ve been arguing for two weeks. Now stop it. [She taps to table to get Red to sit down] Help me with this crossword puzzle. I need a four letter word … for disappointment.

Red : Eric.

Kitty : Hoh, it fits. Well now that can’t be right.

 

The Forman Driveway


[Eric is trimming the hedge while Donna, Jackie, Kelso and Fez watch]


Eric : So he’s like, replace the hub cap. And I’m like, hey, why don’t you replace the hub cap. And that … is why I’m trimming the hedges.

Kelso : Yeah, I only mess with Red when I really need the discipline. He’s a total hard ass.

Fez : Hard ass? Take another look my friend. It jiggles when he wiggles.


[Hyde comes out of the house]


Hyde : Man, I don’t know the deal is with Leo. He told me to take a week off from the Photo Hut two weeks ago and I haven’t heard from him since.

Kelso : Well, we need to find him ‘cause we’re all out of film, if you know what I mean ?

Fez : I need film. Then I could take pictures of Nina and me doing it.

Jackie : Fez. Film doesn’t really mean film.

Fez : Who cares? ‘Cause for the first time in my life doin’ it really means doin’ it.


[Red comes out of the house]


Red : So. I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.

Hyde : That was like eight burns in one sentence.

Donna : An octo-burn. Let’s get the hell out of here.


[Donna, Jackie, Hyde, Kelso and Fez leave the driveway. Kitty comes in.]


Kitty : Okay you two. Since you won’t bond on your own, I have signed you up for the father-son competition at this year’s Point Place Paul Bunyan Pioneer Day Jamboree.

Red : Kitty, that sounds horrible.

Eric : Yeah. I agree.

Red : You hear that? We’ve already bonded.

Kitty : No, it’s too late. It’s for charity. Now … don’t forget, your commemorative coon skin caps. [She placed the cap on Red’s head and hands Eric’s to him, then leaves]

Eric : Huh. So that’s what you’d look like with hair.

 

Point Place Paul Bunyan Pioneer Day Jamboree


[The Formans arrive at the competition. Eric comes up to Donna]


Eric : Hey.

Donna : I’d kiss you, but I’m afraid your hat’ll wake up and scratch my eyes out.


[Bob and Joanne come up to Kitty and Red]


Bob : So you guys, Joanne has been chosen to M.C. Pioneer Days. Tell ‘em why baby.

Joanne : I won the tobacco spitting contest last year.

Red : What a lady.

Bob : I’ll be mannin’ the hard cider booth. It’s a good way to raise money. ‘Cause of all the drunks.

Kitty : Ooh ooh, people are signing in. C’mon, get excited you two.


[Kitty pushes Eric and Red towards the line where they meet another father-son team]


Charlie : Well howdy newcomers. I’m Charlie Miller. You can call me Charlie. This is my son Mitch.

Mitch : You can call me ladies man.

Charlie : Ladies Man.

Mitch : Did somebody call me?

Red : I’m Red Forman. This is my son Eric. You can call him dumbass.

Charlie : Well we don’t use the A S S word. We have a reputation to uphold.

Mitch : We’re the two time champs.

Charlie : Little secret Red. I’ll tell Mitch here it doesn’t matter how we do as long as we’re together.

Mitch : And why’s that Dad?

Charlie : ‘Cause we bad!

Mitch : Oh that’s right! We bad!

Charlie : We bad!

Eric : Alright Dad, they have a catch phrase. Hey what’s ours?

Red : Shut up dumbass.

Eric : Yeah. Shut up dumbass. Okay. Yeah.

 

The Photo Hut


[Hyde, Kelso, Fez and Jackie enter the empty Photo Hut]


Hyde : Oh, no wonder Leo hasn’t told me to come to work; There’s no work to come to.

Jackie : Did he leave a note?

Fez : Nope. Just this. [He holds up a picture of Leo caption Employee of the Month] You know, he looked dirty, but he always smelled like clean sheets.

Hyde : Y’know, you’re talkin’ about him like he’s gone man. He would have told me if he was leavin’ town.

Kelso : Maybe … a UFO appeared … [Hyde, Fez and Jackie stare at Kelso] and it shot down a beam and made everyone and everything inside the Photo Hut vanish. Yeah, like an apparition.

Hyde : Kelso, you don’t even know what an apparition is.

Kelso : Hey. If I can’t use words that I don’t understand, this is gonna be one quiet afternoon.

 

Point Place Paul Bunyan Pioneer Day Jamboree


[The Forman and Miller men are standing before stumps with axes in them. Mitch is prepping himself with martial arts moves]


Joanne : Let’s get started. To make room for a new tradin’ post Paul Bunyan needs to clear cut two hundred acres of forest. The first team to chop twenty-five logs wins. And … chop !


[Eric desperately tries to pull the axe from the stump. He can’t]


Eric : Umm, excuse me. My axe is stuck.

Charlie : Way to go Mitch!

Mitch : Ooh that’s right, we bad!

Charlie : We bad!

Red : Pull the axe out Eric!

Eric : I can’t. It’s really stuck in there.

Red : And you think you’re ready to be married. You can’t even chop wood. What are you gonna do for heat in the winter? Burn comic books ?

Eric : Hmm. I don’t know. I guess I would probably just turn on the heater !


[Sitting together, Donna and Kitty look on from the hard cider booth]


Kitty : How can Eric and Red be fighting already?

Donna : Well … It’s almost as if forcin’ them together against their will and giving them sharp objects … wasn’t really the best way to get them to make up.

Kitty : ‘Nother hard cider Bob. Make it a double.

 

The Forman Basement


[Jackie and Hyde enter the basement to find Kelso and Fez]


Hyde : Well we couldn’t find Leo. We just checked all his hangouts.

Jackie : The Hub.

Hyde : Alley behind The Hub.

Jackie : Fatso Burger.

Hyde : Alley behind the Fatso Burger.

Kelso : Hyde. When are you gonna accept the fact that Leo just bailed.

Hyde : Man, he would not leave without saying goodbye. Okay. I know him better than I know my own father.

Fez : I’d like to do it with Nina in an alley. [Hyde, Kelso and Jackie stare at Fez] My bare ass … pressed up against a cold dumpster. [Jackie, Kelso and Hyde in turn make faces that say how weird they think Fez is]

 

Point Place Paul Bunyan Pioneer Day Jamboree


[Eric and Red are eating individual cups of popcorn]


Red : You know, we’re gettin’ killed here thanks to you screwin’ up that last event. All you had to do was build a cabin out of Lincoln Logs.

Eric : Well I thought I’d score some extra points by building the Millennium Falcon.

Red : The Millennium what? If that’s a Star Wars thing, I’m gonna kick you in the ass.

Eric : It’s … not a Star Wars thing. It’s a very rare falcon. That can do the Kessel Run in under six parsecs.


[The Millers come up behind the Formans]


Mitch : Hey just just remember guys, it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.

Charlie : Unfortunately, you guys don’t know how to play the game.

Mitch : Oh hoh. Hey. Hey, we don’t wanna rub in their face that their big losers. Hooo!

Charlie and Mitch : Ooooh!


[The Millers walk off, laughing. Red leaves Eric sitting alone]


Charlie : Hey!

Mitch : We bad!

Eric : Oh this is the worst Point Place Paul Bunyan Pioneer Days Jamboree ever.

 

Point Place Paul Bunyan Pioneer Day Jamboree


[The Miller and Forman men are next to cows. Kitty and Donna stand nearby]


Joanne : And now, the cow milking event.

Mitch : Umm, could you just award us our first place points now, and save a lot of time and embarrassment for our friends over here?

Eric : You know, it kinda would.

Joanne : Babe the blue ox needs lots of calcium to carry Paul Bunyan’s lumber or his brittle bones will snap and he’ll die. The first team to fill their barrel with milk and save Babe from osteoporosis wins.

Kitty : Nha ha ha ha ha.

Joanne : And … milk!

[Mitch and Red do the milking]

Red : Umm, hey! There’s somethin’ wrong with our cow. Her things aren’t workin’.

Eric : Wha. Ya can’t just yank on ‘em.

Kitty : Red never was much for foreplay.

Charlie : Keep it comin’ Mitch.

Mitch : This is amazing. It’s like she was just waiting for my magic finger to coax that sweet liquid right out of her teets.


[Eric takes Red’s place on the milking stool]


Eric : Move over Dad. I’ll show you how it’s done.

Red : What makes you think that you … Ho. Go!

Kitty : Well, honey, good for you.

Charlie : Mitch! They’re winning. What happened to your magic fingers?

Mitch : Get off my back old man!

Eric : Dad, here.

Joanne : Team Forman wins.

Red : We got one.

Charlie : You let me down son. I thought you were better than that.

Mitch : Oh, what are ya gonna do? Lock me in the closet again? He locks me in the closet !


[The onlookers look disgusted as the Millers walk out]


Charlie : It’s a walk in! It’s a walk in.

Eric : So? Dad? Whatta ya say now?

Red : Why are you so good at that?

 

Leo’s Apartment


[Hyde, Kelso, Fez and Jackie are in the hall outside Leo’s apartment]


Fez : How are we gonna break into Leo’s apartment?


[Kelso throws himself against the door]


Kelso : We need a credit card to slip in the door. Panch used one on CHIPs once and the lady he rescued was so grateful they did it.

Hyde : Kelso, if we had a credit card we could buy a sledge hammer and break down the door.

Jackie : If we had a credit card I’d be butt deep in Jordache right now.


[Fez turns the handle and opens the door. They find someone lying motionless on the bare floor]


Hyde : Oh! Leo man!


[Kelso stops Hyde from going to the body’s side. Kelso then moves to kick him]


Kelso : I’m gonna kick and see if he’s okay.


[Hyde stops Kelso]


Hyde : Kelso! No!

Kelso : Well at least throw somethin’ at him. If he’s asleep he’ll wake up and if he’s dead you can say you threw somethin’ at a dead guy.


[Hyde gently shakes the body. The sleeping man awakens abruptly]


Eli : Yah! Officer I have a prescription for that!

Hyde : No no! Relax man! We’re just lookin’ for Leo.

Eli : Oh, he left. I’m his cousin Eli.

Hyde : Really? Just left? He didn’t call or anything?

Jackie : Oh Steven, I’m sorry.

Kelso : Yeah, don’t take in personal Hyde. You know Leo never liked phones. He said he could hear voices in ‘em.

Eli : By the way, he left a note. Do any of you know a kid named Heidi?


[Hyde gets excited]


Hyde : He means Hyde. That’s me! The notes for me! [Hyde grabs the note, then covers his excitement] I mean, the notes for me. [Hyde reads the note] Dear Hyde man. One day I stopped in Point Place for some gas. Before I knew it, eight years had passed. Whoa, that rhymes. Anyway, I should get home to my wife. Take care. You’re a good kid man. You’re a good kid man. See? I told you he wouldn’t leave without sayin’ goodbye.


[Jackie gets all sappy about Steven briefly expressing his love for Leo]


Jackie : Ooh Steven. You really do love that old dirty little hippie.

Eli : And he left you somethin’ else. He said that you liked film. If you know what I mean?

Hyde : Alright. I was hopin’ we could take a little somethin’ home. You know, put it in the shirt pocket. [Eli hands Hyde a large film canister.] Holy hell! [Hyde opens the canister and their faces are bathed in a green glow as angelic music plays]

 

Point Place Paul Bunyan Pioneer Day Jamboree


[Kitty and Donna stand together, Kitty is obviously drunk]


Kitty : You know, Donna? I’ve been drinking [Donna shows false surprise] … I mean thinking. Nah ha ha ha ha! I want you and Eric to get married.

Donna : Okay. Even though I know it’s just the cider talking; Yay! [Donna hugs Kitty]


[The Miller and Forman men are seated at a table with puzzles before them]


Joanne : Pioneer Pete is lost in the woods. Assemble the map to find his bow and arrow and shoot the bell with the arrow and Pioneer Pete will appear. Do not shoot Pioneer Pete. And … go!

Eric : Okay, this one goes here.

Red : And this piece goes here.

Charlie : C’mon Mitch. Don’t give up.

Mitch : Okay Mr. I Haven’t Had a Job in Five Years.

Eric : So the bow and arrow are … behind the feeding trough.


[Eric runs to the trough, recovers the bow and hands it to Red, who shoots the bell]


Red : Go! Go! Yeah !


[Bob appears]


Bob : Howdy y’all. I’m Pioneer Pete. [Bob pulls down his fake beard] Look Donna ! It’s me! Your Dad ! [Donna looks embarrased]

Charlie : Well Mitch, I hope you’re happy.

Mitch : How can I be happy? Our whole life is a lie. I mean am I really supposed to believe that Kathy’s my little sister. She doesn’t look anything like me! She is Cuban for pete’s sake! And what about your Friday bowling nights? I looked in your bowling bag. You know what I found? Buttless chaps! [Once again, the crowd looks uncomfortable] What’s with the buttless chaps?

Charlie : Your Mother’s inhibited.

Mitch : Oh! Unh! Oh! [Mitch walks out]

Red : Don’t shake hands with that guy.

 

The Forman Basement – The Circle


[Hyde, Kelso, Jackie and Fez are in a cloud]


Hyde : Can’t close my mouth. Can you close your mouth? Really startin’ to freak me out. Leo’s the best.

Kelso : Leo made me a grilled cheese once. He used butter and it made the crust extra toasty. He forgot cheese. I miss that grilled cheese makin’ son of a bitch.

Jackie : You know one time, I heard Leo talking on the phone and he was speaking Chinese. So I said, Leo, stop speaking Chinese. So he turned around and it wasn’t Leo. It was a Chinese guy. Hmm. You know, I’ll never forget that.

Fez : I’m just sad I’ll never get to see his face when I tell him I did it with Nina. Actually, I’d like to see my face when I do it with Nina. I’ll bet I look like a stallion.

Hyde : So today we sit in this circle in honor of Leo. He was my boss. He was my friend. He was my connection. To Leo !

All : To Leo.

 

Point Place Paul Bunyan Pioneer Day Jamboree


[Kitty and Donna are sitting next to each other]


Kitty : Well … I found out how much cider is too much cider.

Donna : A barrel ?

Kitty : Shut it !


[Red and Eric come up, smiling]


Red : Great news! Little Timmy Stinson cut his finger off in the whittling event. They’re out. We’re in second place.

Eric : And if we win this next event, we’ll be champions. And maybe even friends.

 

Point Place Paul Bunyan Pioneer Day Jamboree


[The Miller and Forman men are at the starting line for a race]


Charlie : Look, we’ve had a rough day. And we’ve both said some things that we didn’t mean. But we’ve got to pull it together for this final event.

Mitch : Just tell me where you go Friday nights.

Charlie : I rent a motel room and I lock the door and I cry. Okay? Cry like a damned baby.

Mitch : Why do you need buttless chaps for that?

Joanne : Okay! It’s time for our final event. Transport your gold in a genuine covered wagon to Pioneer Pete’s … You know what? I’m tired. Pull the wagons. Go.


[The participants start pulling their wagons to the backdrop of country music.]

[Kitty and Donna cheer the Formans on; Kitty obviously with a headache]

[Mitch pulls on Eric’s collar to slow him up]

[Eric hits Mitch in the face with his coonskin cap]

[Kitty shoots Charlie with a rubber tipped arrow]

[The Millers narrowly beat out the Formans]


Mitch : Yeah! Yeah!

Charlie : Who’s bad?

Mitch : We bad.

Charlie : That’s right.

Mitch and Charlie : We bad! We bad!

Bob : Okay. It’s time for Pioneer Pete to claim his gold. [Bob is hit with a rubber tipped arrow] I saw that Donna.

 

Point Place Paul Bunyan Pioneer Day Jamboree


[Donna and the Formans walk back into the main hall; Kitty is obviously in pain]


Eric : Well, I’m sorry. I know you think I’m a disappointment and stuff.

Red : Hey. I’m proud of how we did. Look. I know what it’s like to have your Dad ridin’ ya all the time. My old man was always on me to go to engineering school. And when I didn’t, he was so mad we didn’t talk for a year.

Eric : So you’re the softy in your family?

Red : See, my Dad’s vision for my life was wrong. Only I knew what was best. Not my Dad. Understand what I’m sayin’?

Eric : Wow, are … are you admitting that you’re wrong? That it’s okay for me and Donna to get married?

Red : What? No. No. I’m sayin’ that my Dad was wrong and I was right. Just like I’m right now. The point is, I’m always right. So break it off. [Red walks away]


[Donna talks to Kitty quietly]


Donna : Well, at least you’re still happy for us.

Kitty : Please Donna. I’m standing right here! There’s no need to yell! [Kitty walks away, leaving Eric and Donna together]

Eric : You know what? I don’t care what my Dad says. I’m more committed to this marriage than ever.

Donna : Well … After seein’ how you handled that cow, so am I.


[Eric follows Donna out]

 

Point Place Paul Bunyan Pioneer Day Jamboree


[Donna is demonstrating how to split a log]


Donna : Okay. So you raise the axe. And you bring it straight down. Kay? Raise. Bring down.


[Eric takes the axe]


Eric : Looks easy.

Donna : It’s all about leverage. You know? Torque.

Eric : Okay. Alright. I don’t know what either of those is, but I’ll give it a shot.


[Eric lines up on the log then pulls back to strike and loses his grip. A cow cries out in anguish]


Cow : Moooo!

Eric : Let’s get out of here.

Donna : Right behind.


[They run away]

 

 

End Episode.

Ecrit par haley1990 
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Titepau04 (12:20)

Ooohhh génial!!!

Titepau04 (12:24)

Je viens de m'inscrire!!!

serieserie (12:30)

Merci TitePau! Allez d'autres gens?

Titepau04 (12:31)

De rien!! ^^

serieserie (12:32)

Et on attend aussi vos votes pour le concours sur Chicago PD

mamynicky (13:50)

'Jour les 'tits loups J-3 pour les calendriers de l'Avent sur Downton Abbey et Empire. Une surprise vous y attendra chaque jour. Ne manquez pas le rendez vous

arween (14:41)

Bonjour à tous ! Le quartier The Night Shift vous attends pour fêter ses 6 mois ! Pleins de petits jeux sont là pour votre amusement Venez vous rendre visite !

Sonmi451 (14:47)

Nouveau sondage dans Scrubs, merci aux futurs votants et merci pour ceux qui passent dans préférence et qui votent.

stella (21:18)

Nouveau sondage sur le quartier Baby Daddy en rapport avec le dernier épisode de la saison 5. N'hésitez pas à venir voter. Bonne soirée à tous!

CastleBeck (06:03)

J'ai voté aux sondages que je pouvais... Et j'essaie de démêler les mots sans recourir aux indices sur le quartier Night Shift... Je crois que je vais abandonné pour ce soir.
Bonne journée les gens!

chrismaz66 (07:33)

NEWVO SONDAGE DR HOUSE : Votre bad boy préféré (inter-séries)? Votre HouseColyte de choc, venez voir si votre chouchou fait partie des nommés (mini-bio en prime). Merci de votre passage, ma fouine passe partout où elle peut en retour

arween (08:21)

Castlebeck, merci ! Mais si il te semble trop dure n'hésite pas à demander de l'aide. Je peux t'aider sans te donner de mot

SeySey (10:55)

Bonjour! je recherche une âme charitable pour la création du calendrier de Under The Dome! si vous êtes intéressé, contactez moi

CastleBeck (14:12)

@Arween : merci, mais finalement, j'ai fait avec les mots. Après avoir trouvé les 2 premiers, j'étais totalement partie avec les mauvais à la suite... J'enverrai les réponses plus tard, après avoir réalisé les autres animations

arween (14:13)

Ca marche !

SeySey (10:14)

hello à vous! Je cherche un ou une volontaire pour réalisé le calendrier décembre de Under The Dome... vous êtes intéressé? Contactez moi

serieserie (11:20)

Décochez une flèche et inscrivez-vous pour la soirée HypnoGame spécial Arrow du 10.12.16!!

pretty31 (17:59)

Les quartiers Les Mystères de Haven et HypnoClap recherchent toujours des créateurs pour le calendrier du mois de décembre !

sabby (18:35)

Le quartier FNL fait peau neuve N'hésitez pas à venir voir et commenter. Bonne soirée à tous !

chrismaz66 (19:13)

Sondage Bad Boys Irrésistibles, venez voir si votre HouseColyte y figure, et allez c'est déjà Décembre, venez admirer le calendrier éclatant signé Titepau (tout ça c'est chez Dr House, of course

choup37 (19:52)

RIP Keo Woolford On pense fort à sa famille

DGreyMan (22:42)

Bonsoir. Nouveau calendrier, nouveaux jeux et dernier jour pour voter au sondage dans Game of Thrones ! Viendez faire un tour. ^^

DGreyMan (23:29)

Bon bah voilà : Nouveau sondage dans Game of Thrones, spécial "Harry Potter"...

Titepau04 (23:42)

Je ne connais pas la série mais j'ai voté juste parce que j'ai vu le mot Harry Potter!!! ^^

Hypnotic (00:55)

Une nouvelle Room intitulée HypnoPromo a été créée pour permettre aux administrateurs de mettre en avant les animations de leurs quartiers !

Hypnotic (00:56)

Participez à cette nouvelle HypnoRoom de manière à rester informés de l'actualité des animations !

chrismaz66 (10:18)

Sondage Bad Boys Irrésistibles, venez voir si votre HouseColyte y figure, et allez c'est déjà Décembre, venez admirer le calendrier éclatant signé Titepau (tout ça c'est chez Dr House, of course Bowtie

Hypnotic (11:04)

Chrismaz, merci d'utiliser la room HypnoPromo pour ce type d'annonce.

chrismaz66 (12:00)

Ah ok c'est pour toutes les news de nos quartiers? J'avais pas compris, c'est noté oopsie

emeline53 (13:02)

Super, merci pour ce nouveau topic !

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