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515 : Script VO

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The Forman Back Porch


[Donna, Eric, Fez, Hyde, Jackie and Kelso]


Kelso : And then I realized that’s why they call it a clock radio. ‘Cause it’s got both.


[Bob and Joanne walk up]


Bob : Hey Donna, feast your eyes. All new stuff for me and Joanne’s weekend away at tennis camp.

Joanne : Billy Jean King’s sister is leading the campfire songs.

Bob : We’re gonna make quite the raquet.

Fez : Good one Bob.


[Bob and Joanne leave]

 

Kelso : Bob’s goin’ out of town for the weekend. Alright! Party at Donna’s! Okay, we’re gonna need beer, balloons and girls with low self esteem.

Eric : Guys, hang on. Donna and I already made plans this weekend.

Hyde : Well then just leave us a key man. And don’t worry. If anything bad happens, I know how to make it look like a robbery-homicide.

Donna : Look, Eric and I want one weekend alone where we don’t have to be so secret about being engaged. I could even wear my ring if it weren’t being resized for me.

Jackie : Can they make a ring big enough to fit your Paul Bunyan hands?

Donna : Jackie!

Jackie : Well I’m sorry Donna, but if you’re not gonna have a party, you’re gonna get insulted. That’s just the way it is.

Hyde : The way I see it, unless Donna’s blockin’ the door with her giant hands … we’re comin’ over for a party.

Kelso : Oh ho, we should get one of those girls that jump out of cakes. Yeah, they’re great. You know you two could do a little less standin’ around and a little more jumpin’ outta cakes.


The Forman Kitchen


[Eric and Kitty as Red enters]

 

Red : Morning.

Eric : Hey Dad, I was thinkin’ of spending tonight and tomorrow over at Fez’s.

Red : At whosis?

Kitty : The foreign boy with the tight pants; wears a little too much cologne.

Red : I don’t like him. I caught him stealin’ bacon out of our fridge. Why are you doing your homework in the morning?

Eric : Uh, I was out last night with Donna.

Red : Well of course you were. That’s why you came in a half hour past the curfew.

Eric : Oh well, Donna had a flat.

Red : Oh. That’s awful bad luck. Seein’ how Donna doesn’t have a car. I see you getting bigger, but you still act like a twelve year old. Now when are you gonna grow up and start thinkin’ about your future?

Kitty : Red, don’t get upset so early. You won’t enjoy your sausage and Tang.

Eric : Sausage and Tang? Isn’t that a little racy for breakfast.

Kitty : I don’t get it.

Red : Well I’m gonna leave … before someone explains it.


[Red leaves as Hyde enters]


Hyde : Mornin’.

Kitty : Steven, y’gotta a big tear in that jacket.

Hyde : Yeah. It’s hard hoppin’ over a fence carryin’ two twelve packs … I mean library books.

Kitty : Well, I’m gonna ignore that ‘cause you don’t even have parents to buy you a new coat. He doesn’t have parents Eric.

Eric : He told me that sometimes when he’s all alone, he cries.

Kitty : Oh that settles it. I’m takin’ you shopping for a new coat. Here, here. Take some Tang and go.

Hyde : Man if I had a dollar for every time I heard a chick say that …

Kitty : What? What? Never turn down Tang. Growing boys need Tang.


[Eric and Steven leave]


Kitty : What is funny here?!


The Pinciotti Living Room


[Bob, Donna and Joanne]


Bob : Oh, the plumber took apart the toilet upstairs, so you’ll have to use this one. I know it’s scary down here at night, but …

Joanne : She’ll be fine. Let’s go.

Bob : Just when you come around that corner in the dark the coat rack can look like a bear.


[Bob and Joanne leave; Eric pops up from behind the bar]


Eric : Finally … we’re alone.

Donna : For the whole weekend.


[Fez, Hyde, Jackie and Kelso arrive]


Kelso : Alright! Party time! I brought the Slip ‘n’ Slide. Let’s move the couch.

Fez : Okay, I’ll get the hose.

Kelso : No no no, we don’t need the hose man. We’ll just use beer.

Donna : Kelso. Are you nuts?

Kelso : You’re right. We don’t wanna waste the beer. Go get the hose man.

Eric : No. Guys, we said no party.

Hyde : Aw c’mon Forman. Look man, you gotta help me out here. Jackie and I are goin’ through a really rough time and maybe … just maybe we can start to heal if you can find it in your heart to let me trash your girlfriend’s house.

Eric : Don’t care.

Kelso : But it’s party time man. I invited a girl in a halter top who was on her fifth beer. Fifth beer halter top!

Eric : Forget it Kelso.

Kelso : No but do you know what a Slip ‘n’ Slide can do to a halter top? It turns it into a belt.

 

The Forman Kitchen


[Kitty gets call from Fenton the jeweler]


Kitty : Hello.

Fenton : Hello, is a … Mr. Forman there?

Kitty : No I’m sorry you just missed him. Can I take a message?

Fenton : Yes, this is Fenton from All That Glitters. Mr. Forman bought a ring here and I’m calling to tell him it’s ready. And ah oh, it looks fabulous.

Kitty : He bought me a ring?

Fenton : Oh ah, I-I hope it wasn’t a surprise. Perhaps you shouldn’t know that I called. Umm. Could you let Mr. Forman know that I called? I mean, umm, you shouldn’t know that he bought you … oh … Now I’ve made a messy.


[They both hang up]


The Pinciotti Kitchen


[Donna and Eric]


Donna : Okay, dinner is all ready. I just had to add the secret ingredient; Love. By the way, love is salt. Alright, Chicken Pinciotti for two.

Eric : Umm, is this red stuff gravy or blood?
Donna: There’s no gravy.

Eric : Oh! Well I guess it’s just kinda moist then. Actually it’s kinda pink. Is this ham?

Donna : No. It’s Chicken Pinciotti. Mine looks fine. Well if you don’t want to eat yours, we have some Fruity Pebbles.

Eric : No. No. Grown ups don’t eat Fruity Pebbles. They eat chicken.

Donna : What grown ups? Where are these grown ups?

Eric : Donna … us. The whole point of this weekend is to prove that we’re grown up and that … Red doesn’t know what he’s talkin’ about when he says I’m immature.

Donna : It is? I dunno, I thought the point of this weekend was to have … you know a fun light weekend.

Eric : Yeah, no it will be fun and light. It’s just that in the next thirty-six hours, I would like to prove to myself that my father’s been wrong about me my entire life. But in a fun, light way.

Donna : Well whatever. You don’t have to eat the chicken.

Eric : No! What? No! Are you kidding? I was kidding. I’m-I’m doin’ our grown up domestic squabbling thing. You know? It’s like I make fun of your cooking. You tell me to put on pants when we have company.

Donna : Are you gonna stop wearin’ your pants? ‘Cause I might have a problem with that.

Eric : See! Good. We’re bickering like husband and wife. What? You call this dinner? Take my wife, please. That’s delicious.


Jewelry Store


[Kitty]


Kitty : Steven, just come in. Your jacket looks fine.


[Hyde enters]


Hyde : Mrs. Forman, I don’t think this jacket is really my style.

Kitty : Oh nonsense. Ever since I’ve know you you’ve been nothing but flash and pizzazz. Oh and look; it says stuntman on the arm. People are gonna think you’re from Hollywood.


[Kitty finds Fenton]


Kitty : Excuse me.

Fenton : Yes

Kitty : I was wondering if I might look at that ring you called Mr. Forman about, that he doesn’t know that I know about yet?

Fenton : Oh I don’t think I’m supposed to show you but, but I do a lot of things behind this counter I’m not supposed to do. So …

Kitty : This is an engagement ring.

Hyde : An engagement ring? Uh oh.

Kitty : Why would Red give me a diamond ring?

Hyde : Maybe it’s a menopause diamond. You know, for happy menopause.

Kitty : Oh oh, it’s engraved. To Donna …

Fenton : You’re a lucky woman Donna. I mean Mr. Forman seems a tad young for you but, uh, men and women are doin’ all sorts of things we never used to do. Hmm?

Kitty : Oh my goodness. This is from Eric to … Eric and Donna are engaged!

Hyde : Well if they are, I’m learning it here for the first time!

Fenton : So … Mr. Stuntman. Are you from Hollywood?


The Pinciotti Kitchen


[Donna and Eric]


Eric : I gotta tell you, this bein’ grown up thing really seems to work for us. It’s like, we’re already good at being married.

Donna : All we did was eat.

Eric : Hey, little secret they don’t tell ya: That’s all marriage is.


[Hyde shows up at back door]


Hyde : Forman, listen. I just got back from the mall with your mom.

Donna : Nice coat Hyde. Burt Reynolds have a garage sale?

Eric : Yeah Hyde, Donna and I are tryin’ to be alone. We got no use for a shiny red stuntman.

Hyde : Look. Would you shut up and listen to me?
Eric : No! Okay. This house is closed to parties. Okay? So just go away. Oh and tell the cast of Smokey and the Bandit that I said ten-four.

Hyde : Fine! I’m gone man.

Donna : Don’t you mean I’m eastbound and down good buddy?

Eric : What does a married couple do after a delicious dinner of Chicken Pinciotti?

Donna : Well we could make out on the couch, but we’re married so maybe we should just fight and go to bed.

Eric : Whoa!

Donna : What’s wrong?

Eric : Whoa. Okay, I think the Chicken Pinciotti wants to … fly the coop.

Donna : Oooh.

Eric : I’m gonna be upstairs for a little bit. Uh, do you have any magazines that I could … Whoa! Okay! I’m-I-I-I’ll just read the shampoo.

Donna : Wait. You can’t, you can’t use the bathroom upstairs. You have to use the one off the den.

Eric : Right in there? Wh-While you’re right in here? I-I can’t do that. You might … sense something.

Donna : I might sense something? How much of a ruckus are you gonna make?

Eric : I just … I can’t go here. Okay? And I can’t go home because Red thinks I’m over at Fez’s. I am a man without a country.

Donna : Eric. You wanted to be grown up. And, well this is something that grown ups do in the same house.

Eric : No, I … You know what I was thinkin’ I could build us another house. A separate house.

Donna : Eric. You’re talking about an outhouse.

Eric : Well it’s about time those made a comeback !


[Eric leaves]


The Forman Kithcen


[Hyde, Jackie and Kitty]


Kitty : Eric and Donna can’t be engaged! They’re too young! How does something like this happen?

Jackie : Well, Eric asked her to marry him … and instead of saying ewww, like a normal person … Donna said yes.

Kitty : Well I don’t like secret keeping in my house. What else is going on that I don’t know about?

Hyde : Ooh, there is something else. In the back left corner of Forman’s closet he has stashed some highly offensive photographic material.

Kitty : Well this has gotta stop! Eric should have told me about his engagement because in this house [Red enters] we do not keep secrets.

Red : Whatta you talkin’ about?

Kitty : Cheesecake. Different types of cheesecake.

Red : Well … sorry I missed it.

Kitty : Don’t judge me!

 

Kelso’s Front Door


[Kelso and Fez open door to find Eric]


Eric : Kelso, I need to use your bathroom.

Kelso : Nope. There’s nobody here. Course I don’t see people who don’t have parties for their friends so maybe there is somebody here and I just can’t see ‘em. I can’t see you Eric!

Eric : I really need to use the bathroom!

Fez : Well maybe you should have thought of that before you kicked us out of Donna’s house you party pooper.

Kelso : Yeah!

Fez : No party, no pooper!

Kelso : Nice.

Fez : Yeah, it really was. No party, no pooper!


[Kelso and Fez slam the door]


Eric Forman’s Basement – The Circle


[Fez, Hyde, Jackie and Kelso]


Fez : So then I said, no party, no pooper! Because he wouldn’t have a party.

Jackie : See I think it’s stupid that Eric and Donna need to practice being married. I mean it’s simple. The woman just needs to be a cook in the kitchen; a maid in the living room; and an acrobat in the bedroom. And I can hire a cook and a maid.

Hyde : I am liking you more and more.

Kelso : You know I was thinkin’ about the Incredible Hulk. I like that show. Especially the part where he gets all like mad and turns green and then his shirt rips off. But then I was thinkin’ … what if he was purple? And a lady. Like an angry, naked, purple chick! Yeah, that’s better, right?

Red : What’s goin’ on down here? [Red comes down the stairs] Why doesn’t anybody ever go home?

Kelso : And then I realized that’s why they call it a clock radio.

All : ‘Cause it’s got both!

Red : What are you doin’ here? I thought Eric was with you.

Fez : Eric is always with me … in spirit.

Red : Don’t pussyfoot around. I make three phone calls, you’re back on that raft you floated in on.

Fez : Eric is at Donna’s.

Jackie : Fez!

Fez : I fear the open sea.


[Red goes upstairs]


The Forman Living Room


[Kitty and Red]


Red : Kitty, you know what I just found out about Eric?

Kitty : You found out?

Red : He lied to us. He’s spending the night at Donna’s.

Kitty : Oooh!

Red : What’d you think it was?

Kitty : He has dirty magazines in his closet. Our son is a pervert. I’m just gonna go pray for him.


[Kitty leaves]


Forman’s Front Door


[Eric]


Eric : Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry! Hurry!


[Red opens door]


Red : Well, speak of the idiot.

Eric : I gotta use the bathroom.

Red : What’s the matter with the foreign kids bathroom? That is where you were, isn’t it?

Eric : Yeah, of course! Why would I lie to you about something like that?


[Fez walks by]


Fez : I need bacon.

Eric : Okay, uh the reason I’d lie about something like that is …

Red : What happened? You pissed Donna off and she locked you out ?

Eric : Donna ? No.

Red : Oh, well … You pissed me off so I’m lockin’ you out.


[Red slams the door]


The Pinciotti Living Room


[Eric rushes by Donna]


Donna : Did you find …?

Eric : Don’t stop lovin’ me!


The Forman Kitchen


[Hyde, Kitty and Red as Eric enters]


Red : Well, look who’s here. Oh say Eric, the morning paper didn’t come. So I thought you could tell me a story while I eat. I know how good you are at making up stories.

Kitty : Why don’t you tell me things? You can tell me things. Even bad things. A mother’s love is like a flower that never wilts. Unless it’s lied to.

Red : If you’re done reciting poetry, I’d like to yell at the kid.

Hyde : Hey Forman, this is about to get ugly, so if you have to go potty, now’s a good time.

Eric : I’m sorry. Okay, I shouldn’t have told you I was at Fez’s.

Red : Do you ever think about what you’re doing with your life?
Eric : Hey Dad, it’s my life, okay? I’m grown up now.

Red : Grown up? Well you sure say that a lot so it must be true. Let me try it. Hey everybody, I’m Mr. Rogers. But wait, I’m not wearing a sweater. And I’m about to kick your ass. Maybe it doesn’t work. Maybe you’re just an immature piss ant who still lies to his parents.

Eric : You know what Dad! … Oh my God, you’re right. Yer-I have been lying and acting immature and keeping secrets and I swear to God I’m just as sick of it as you are. So, here’s the truth: Donna and I are engaged.

Hyde : I get his room!

Red : You’re engaged?!

Eric : Yeah. I already gave her the ring.

Red : Kitty, are you hearing this?

Kitty : Yes I am. And for the first time too.

Eric : Well, it’s true. So if I’m gonna be ready to be married, which I am, then I guess I should be ready to tell you the truth. So there it is. Wow! That felt great. I’m gonna go see my fiancé. Wow, that felt great too! What a great day.


[Eric leaves]


Kitty : Okay. Okay, this is good. We’re all being open here. Does anybody have anything else they wanna get off their chest?

Hyde : Mrs. Forman, I hate my jacket!

Kitty : Oh well now we’re just tryin’ to hurt each other.


The Forman Driveway


[Hyde and Kitty]


Kitty : Okay now, c’mon Steven. Give it another chance. Oh, it’s snazzy !


[Bob and Joanne come up. Bob in same coat as Hyde]


Bob : Hey there ! Hi there ! Check out my outerwear.

Kitty : I’ll just give this to Goodwill.

Bob : Read the arm. Stuntman. People are gonna think I’m from Hollywood.

 

End Episode.

Ecrit par haley1990 

Teaser | Instructions détaillées | Réagir
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Sonmi451 (23:56)

je vais te laisser mais je vais continuer à lire sur le sujet

CastleBeck (23:56)

Non, il faut juste prendre le temps d'étudier la question

Sonmi451 (23:57)

car c'est vrai qu'ici on nous parle surtout du Canada

Sonmi451 (23:57)

peu du Québec, on connait des célébrités québécoises mais ça s'arrête là

CastleBeck (23:57)

Oui, c'Est plus simple...

Sonmi451 (23:57)

on est un peu nombriliste par chez nous

CastleBeck (23:57)

J'avais remarqué ....

CastleBeck (23:58)

*S'enfuit en courant*

Sonmi451 (23:58)

y a mr tartampion qui se fait mal au pied, ça fera plus la une que par exemple la politique dictatoriale aux Philippines.

CastleBeck (23:58)

Non, mais en fait, je crois que souvnt il nomme une ville et dise au Canada, sans préciser la province..
J'ai vu un article récemment qui parlait de la ville d'Alberta au Canada... alors que , euh, c'Est pas une ville mais une province...

CastleBeck (23:59)

Ah, ici on fait la une avec une victoire du Canadiens, ou un changement d'entraineur de l'Équipe, alors...

Sonmi451 (23:59)

oui c'est comme mélanger ville et région par chez nous ^^'

CastleBeck (23:59)

c'Est qui Tartaampion?

CastleBeck (00:00)

Euh, un peu , mais une province comporte plusieurs régions en fait...

Sonmi451 (00:00)

ben après l'être humain est nombriliste de nature. On est plus captivé par ce qui se passe près de chez nous qu'à des kilomètres

Sonmi451 (00:00)

oui mais nous les régions comptent plusieurs départements ^^

Sonmi451 (00:01)

et tartampion, c'est un nom inventé

Sonmi451 (00:01)

bon sur ce, je te dis bonne nuit quand même ^^

CastleBeck (00:01)

Oui, sauf quand il y a des drames, là on st concerné quelques jours... surtout si ça arrive en France, Belgique.. car on a la fameuse question : Et si ça arrivat chez nous?

Sonmi451 (00:01)

je vais jamais me coucher sinon lol

CastleBeck (00:01)

J,avais bien compris que c'était personne

CastleBeck (00:01)

Bonne nuit miss!
Dors bien

Sonmi451 (00:02)

ha ben attend je suis sérieuse là j'avais pas capté lol

CastleBeck (00:02)

Oui, c'Est ce que j'ai compris... et je me suis dit qu'il manqueit le bonhomme préféré de seriesesire pour voir l'humour de tout ça

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Allez! File dormir avant que bébé ne se réveille

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bonne nuit les petits! ^^

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Bonne nuit à toi :

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9,6/10 au niveau hypnofriends entre toi et moi ^^

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À se demander pourquoi je ne connais aucune des séries dont tu me parles à part House...

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