Ce script VO a été migré dans le guide de l'épisode.
Eric, Fez and Hyde are sitting on the porch. Kelso comes running up to them
KELSO: Hey, guess who's dropping Jackie off here after cheerleading practice? Leslie Cannon.
FEZ: Ah, Leslie Cannon. Nickname: The Cannon. Why? Because she always shoots Eric down.
HYDE: Man, you were so in love with her. Remember in the seventh grade when she asked you your name and you got all panicky and said, "Uh-bluh"?
KELSO: Yeah, and then she called you "Uh-bluh" for like, the next two years. That was awesome.
Red and Kitty walk out carrying suitcases
RED: I still don't see why we have to spend the night. It only took me 30 minutes to get caught up with everyone at my high school reunion.
KITTY: Oh well, standing in the corner muttering "dumb-ass" at everyone doesn't count as getting caught up. I can't wait to see some dear, old girlfriends. Like the Miller twins. God, I hope they're fat.
RED: Oh crap. There's no way that all these bags are gonna fit in here. Oh, geez, I was really looking forward to taking this baby out on the highway. Well, we'll just have to take two cars.
KITTY: No, we'll take the Toyota. OHH, I can bring another dress. Shows a little more leg so Stuart McDaniel can see what he missed out on.
ERIC: Oh hey, you guys. Here comes Leslie. Hey, how's my hair?
HYDE (rubbing Eric's head): It's a little messy.
LELSIE: Hey, it's Uh-bluh!
ERIC: Yeah um, I'm going by Eric now.
JACKIE: She doesn't care what your name is, Eric. She's a cheerleader.
LESLIE: Wow, this car is so hot!
HYDE: Yeah, that's kind of like what I was thinking.
KELSO: Really? 'Cause I was thinking she was hot.
FEZ: Hey, mama.
LELSIE: So uh, whose car is this?
ERIC: Oh, uh, it's my dad's... (Kelso kicks him) tough luck that it's mine.
LELSIE: So, what kind of engine is in this thing?
ERIC: Oh well, it's, uh... it's a multi-piston...200. That's, uh, twice as powerful as the... the 100 .
LELSIE: You know what? I think you should take me for a drive tonight.
ERIC: ... Oh what? Are you talking to me? Yeah... No... Sure. Yeah... No... Shut up. Yes, it's my car. Sure.
LESLIE: Pick me up at seven. (she leaves)
ERIC: Okay. Oh, my God. What have I done?
HYDE: Well, you're using your dad's dream car to get with a totally hot chick who would otherwise never date you.
ERIC: When you put it like that, it just sounds right.
Red and Eric are standing in front of the Corvette
RED: Here's the keys to the Corvette. But the only reason I'm giving them to you is so you can move it in case there's a fire.
ERIC: And because you trust me.
RED: Heh Riiiight (!) Now, you know that I'll know if the Corvette's been moved. I've noted its exact position in the garage the angle of the wheels and I just might have set a few booby traps.
ERIC: I am so lucky to have a daddy who cares enough to set booby traps. Fine. Okay, I get it. The only way I get to drive the Corvette is if there's a fire.
RED: But to the end of the driveway. No further. A fire is no excuse for a joyride.
Kelso is standing in Casey's room and is spitting in his socks. Jackie and Donna
JACKIE: Michael, what are you doing in Casey's room?
KELSO: Spittin' in his socks. What are you doing?
DONNA: We came by to say hi to Casey. Watching you spit is just a super bonus.
KELSO: Yeah? Well, your lover's out of town. And I asked your lover where he was going and your lover said, "Neptune," and that he'd be back tomorrow. And then your lover punched me in the head and laughed. But we'll see who's laughing when he puts on his socks and gets his feet all spitty. Ha!
DONNA: Casey's out of town? He never tells me anything. It's like the only thing I know about him is that he's Kelso's brother.
JACKIE (picking up a magazine): Well, you know he subscribes to Van Aficionado.
DONNA: Stop snooping, Jackie.
JACKIE: But Donna, you know, say this pile of stuff was to get accidentally knocked over.. (she swoops it to the floor) Oh, no! And while picking it up, you just happen to look through it.
DONNA: Jackie, I'm not gonna snoop.
JACKIE: Oh, look! He took a quiz. "Your Ideal Chick: Van Fan or Biker Liker?" But you know what? You wouldn't care what kind of girl he likes. I mean, you're only dating him.
DONNA (swooping some stuff from his desk): Oh, no!
Eric is measuring where the Corvette is standing
HYDE: Forman, I can't believe you're actually gonna take out Red's Corvette.
FEZ: Yeah, and I can't believe you're wearing brown shoes with a black belt. That's just tacky.
ERIC: Guys, the odometer's busted. The odometer's busted! That's a sign from God. God loves me. He wants me to steal the car. Besides, I think I've learned most of Red's tricks now like this one: The old "strand of hair across the ignition" trap.
HYDE: Yeah, you're a regular Green Beret, Forman.
FEZ: Oh, please. With that outfit, a green beret is the last thing he needs.
Eric and Leslie are in the Corvette. She turns the radio on. Eric yaws, stretches and puts his arm around her
ERIC: Well, here we are in my Corvette enjoying the open road and the delightful, pine-fresh scent of your hair.
LESLIE: That's your cheapo air freshener. Yuck (she throws it away)
ERIC: No, no, no, no. No, no (she turns to him) Hello.
LESLIE: Can I drive?
LELSIE: Uh, I don't know (she kisses him some more. He nods yes) Uh-bluh.
Red and Kitty are about to enter the reunion
KITTY: Okay now, if the Miller twins are fat, be nice. But if they're still thin, I don't want to hear any "hubba-hubbas" or remarks about doubling your pleasure. Remember, it's my reunion. I am the prettiest one here.
They go in and see people dressed up as clowns. A sign says: "Welcome Mid-Western area Rodeo Clowns"
RED: Well, you are the prettiest one here.
KITTY: I don't understand. The invitation says the 29th.
RED: Kitty, that says the 23rd. I have been telling you for months that you need glasses. You know, one of these days, you're gonna wander off and fall into a hole.
KITTY: What hole? Where are these holes?
RED: They're everywhere. You just can't see 'em, 'cause you need glasses.
Donna and Jackie are heading home
DONNA: Well, we spent three hours in Casey's room and all we found out is that he collects mud flaps.
JACKIE: Yeah, but all that snooping gave me such a rush. Hey, let's go to the mall and shoplift some lip gloss.
DONNA: No thanks, little felon. I feel guilty enough. Besides, I have to finish my chemistry homework. Oh, no! I left my chemistry book on Casey's desk, and he comes back tomorrow!
JACKIE: So we'll just go back and get it.
DONNA: Jackie, I already went over there all "Where's Casey?" Now if I go back all, "Where's my book"...
JACKIE: But you are all, "Where's my book?"
DONNA: But Kelso won't believe that, and then he'll think I'm a goob and then he'll tell Casey that I'm a goob!
JACKIE: Okay. Okay, look. We'll wait till later tonight, then sneak back in and get it. Besides, Casey's got this really great clock radio I really want.
Kitty is using the phone
RED: Oh, Kitty, don't tell Eric that we're coming home. If he's doing something wrong... and we both know he is it's important that I catch him.
RED: Because it gives me pleasure (pointing to the dial) There's the three.
KITTY: Shut it!
Hyde is making muffins. Fez is standing next to him, a beer in his hand and Red's fishing cap on his head. Rock is blaring
FEZ: I'm Red, dumb-ass. Where are my muffins, dumb-ass?
The phone rings. Hyde picks it up
HYDE: Forman residence. Dr. Hook speaking.
FEZ: Who is it, dumb-ass?
KITTY: Steven, honey, it's Mrs. Forman.
HYDE: Oh, hey, Mrs. Forman.
FEZ: Mrs. Forman?? (he hides the beers and takes of the hat)
KITTY: Um, there's been some sort of sort of little mistake.
FEZ (shouting): I finished my homework. Now let's move on to Bible study!
KITTY: It seems like my reunion was last week.
HYDE: Oh, that's too bad. You were really looking forward to seeing them fat twins, right?
KITTY: So we're coming home tonight. Tell Eric, okay? It's important.
HYDE: Yeah, of course.
KITTY: Okay. Bye, sweetie.
HYDE: They're coming home early. You know what this means?
FEZ: Yeah, we have to hurry up and find Eric.
HYDE: No. We have to hurry up and finish the rest of Red's beer. Hopefully, Forman'll get blamed for that too.
Leslie is racing
ERIC: Boy, this is fun, but I think race time is over now! Good, we're slowing down. That's good. A little motion sickness going on. But uh, the car's all in one piece, so I'm on top of the world.
A crashing sound and the cars turns over
LESLIE: What was that?
ERIC: That was me... falling off the top of the world.
Leslie is standing near the car. Eric comes out behind it
ERIC: Well, the good news is, I found the hubcap in a huge field of mud. And the other good news is, in about a hundred years some archaeologist is gonna be thrilled to find my shoes.
LELSIE (giggles): Sorry.
ERIC; Yeah, well, you know Look, there aren't any scratches or dents. So, just dirt. I-I think I'm in the clear.
LELSIE: Eric, I'm starting to think I might like you.
LELSIE: I'm not sure though. I think I have to drive the car some more.
ERIC: Oh. Well, I'm starting to think I might let you drive the car.
ERIC: I'm not sure though. I think we might have to make out some more.
It's dark. Jackie and Donna are sneaking in
DONNA (taking her book): Okay, I got it.
JACKIE: Okay, let's go.
The hump on the bed moves
KELSO (sitting up): Jackie? Donna? Am I dreaming?
DONNA: Uh, yes. Yes, you are.
KELSO: Are we gonna do it?
JACKIE: Yes. Yes, Michael, we are.
KELSO: Cool. Donna first.
Jackie wants to attack him but Donna hold her back
Fez, Hyde and Eric are in Eric's bedroom for an update
FEZ: So you smooched the Cannon. How was her tongue? Was it nimble?
ERIC: Like a belly dancer. And at one point I was touching a spot not four inches from boob.
HYDE: Not bad, Forman. Not only did you get within shouting distance of second base you successfully snaked Red's Corvette.
ERIC: Yeah, well, I gotta wash it, wax it and put on a hubcap, but that should only take about an hour. I'm gonna do it in the morning.
HYDE: Perfect. Sleep tight.
ERIC: All right (he gets into bed)
HYDE (turning around): Oh, by the way, um, your parents called a couple hours ago. They'll be home in 40 minutes.
HYDE: Relax, man. We're just messing with you. They'll be home in 20 minutes.
We see Eric and Fez clean the car in speeded up black-and-white film. Hyde is sitting in a chair reading
ERIC: Okay, tire location, check. Seat placement, check. Picture of Fez's butt, check.
FEZ (taking the picture): That one's going on my desk.
ERIC: Okay, you guys, there's just one more thing: The strand of hair over the ignition.
HYDE: Well, you're gonna get away with it. What a bunch of crap.
ERIC: Okay, you guys, they're here. Damn it! The air freshener!
HYDE (he takes it out of his pocket and throws it to Eric): Damn it, you remembered.
Eric throws it in the car and then jumps out of sight. Red rolls up the garage door
RED: Well, there's the Corvette, safe and sound. I'm just saying that for your benefit, in case you can't see it.
KITTY: Well, I am so glad you raced all the way home without stopping for this. Cripes, I gotta pee like a banshee.
Fez, Donna and Jackie are hanging at the basement
FEZ: Well, I'm off to the candy shop. My Everlasting Gobstopper just crapped out on me.
KELSO (coming in): Fez, I was sleeping in Casey's room and I think somehow I had one of his dreams, 'cause I did it with...(Donna and Jackie step up) Hey, guys.
JACKIE: No, no, Michael. Finish your sentence. You did it with...
KELSO: A hat on? A-And you. You, me and a hat. It was hot.
FEZ: Of course it was. Everything's better with a hat. Come on, fellas. Put a hat on. The lady deserves it.
DONNA: What were you doing in Casey's bed anyway?
KELSO: Oh, when he's out of town, I like to skank it up by skipping a couple showers and sleeping in it naked.
JACKIE: Michael, tell me more about this dream. Was anyone else there?
KELSO: Jackie, why would I have a sexy dream with anyone besides you? Hey, Donna.
Eric is eating cereal. Hyde walks in
HYDE: Hey, your old man wants to talk to you outside.
ERIC: Why? Am I busted?
HYDE: Don't worry, man. It's not about the car.
ERIC: Oh (he gets up)
HYDE: Oh, Forman, I almost forgot. It's about the car.
ERIC: You gotta stop doing that, man!
Eric walks up to Red
ERIC: Um, you wanted to see me?
RED: D'you take my car out last night?
RED: I know you didn't. Guess how I know! I stuck a hair across the ignition.
ERIC: A hair acro... You know, someday I'm gonna use that on my son.
RED: Anyway, since I know I can trust you, I'm gonna let you drive it.
ERIC: I finally get to drive it? Wow! Okay, uh, where does the key go?
RED: Start her up.
ERIC: Okay (he starts the car. The radio blares loud rock. He turns the car off) And I'm grounded.
RED: For a month! Why did you do it?
ERIC: To impress this cheerleader.
RED: No kidding? Well, then make it two weeks. So uh, you gonna see her again?
ERIC: Well, can I have the car again?
RED: Ohh, she's that girl. I know that girl. Stay away from that girl.
HYDE (calling out from the kitchen): Hey, Forman, your mom wants to talk to you.
She wants to know why you drank all of Red's beer.
ERIC: You know what? Let's just call it a month.
It's dark. Kelso is in Casey's bed. Jackie sneaks in
KELSO: Jackie? Am I dreaming?
JACKIE: Yes, you are.
KELSO: Are we gonna do it?
JACKIE: Yes, we are.
KELSO: Oh, cool. Where's Donna?
She jumps on the bed and attacks him
KELSO: AAHHH! AHHH!