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414 : Script VO

Ce script VO a été migré dans le guide de l'épisode.

FORMAN BASEMENT

Fez is sitting on the couch. Kelso is looking in a mirror. Hyde walks in


KELSO: Hey, guys? I'm thinking about getting a perm. Hyde, can I get the number of your guy?

HYDE: I don't have a guy, dumb-ass. This righteous moss is a gift from God.

FEZ: God gave me a perm too, but he hit me below the belt.

Eric comes down the stairs. He is carrying a bucket and gloves

HYDE: What are you doing, Forman?

ERIC: My stupid Cousin Penny from Florida is coming this weekend so my mom's making me clean the basement (sprays air freshner for a long time) And I'm done.

HYDE: Penny?

ERIC: God, she was always such a tattletale. ''Eric's stealing cookies.'' ''Eric's playing with fire.'' ''Eric's touching himself.''

KELSO: Yeah but Eric got her back. He hit her with the old Ben Gay on the toothbrush and the over-the-shoulder wedgie and the butt-face gas attack.

FEZ: Butt-face gas attack?

KELSO: I'll show you later.

FEZ: Thank you.

HYDE: Oh Forman, my favorite was when you trapped her in the revolving door at the library and kept spinning her.

KELSO: Yeah she ralphed and then she had to keep walking through the puddle. 'Cause it's a revolving door. It spins in circles. That's its nature. It just...


OPENING CREDITS

FORMAN DRIVEWAY


Everyone is in the driveway to welcome Penny


KITTY: Penny!

PENNY: Aunt Kitty! It's so good to see you!

KITTY: Oh my gosh, you have grown so... Things have... Good for you!

HYDE: And good for us.

RED: Oh, geez.

ERIC: Penny. You're so... shiny.

KITTY: I am just so excited you're here. I have lots of free time these days, so I've gathered up some local foliage. And I thought we could have a long talk while we make our own potpourri!

PENNY: Well, thanks, Aunt Kitty, but right now I'd just like to catch up with Eric. Find out how he got so foxy.

RED: Okay, you boys be nice. But not too nice.

ERIC: Penny, I know your last trip here I was kind of a jerk, and...

PENNY: Oh God, Eric! That was so long ago. Plus, I can't stay mad at you. You're too cute.

DONNA (walking up with Jackie): Hey guys, what's up?

ERIC: Oh hey, you remember my cousin Penny?

DONNA: Hey Penny. I didn't recognize you without Eric's butt in your face.

JACKIE: So you guys ready for the movies? You can come too. I guess.

PENNY: Thanks but this Wisconsin air is so dry... I really should go inside and moisturize before I lose my tan.

FEZ: I have lotion (he shows her the bottle)

HYDE: I think the best plan is for all of us to go to the movies... except for me and Penny, who will stay here and moisturize each other.

KELSO: What? Screw that, I'm gonna moisturize too.

JACKIE: Michael!

KELSO: I'll just do, like, a leg or something (Jackie looks at him) Fine!

ERIC: Come on. Let me show you to your room.


All the guys walk after Penny


JACKIE: Michael!

KELSO: I'm gettin' Kool-Aid! Damn!

JACKIE: What losers! Did you see them checking her out? Okay, she's not that hot.

DONNA: I never liked her. You know, once when we were little she bit me, so I bit her back. And then she said, ''Truce,'' so I said, ''Okay.'' And then she bit me again. Whore.

JACKIE: Slut.

DONNA: No, her.

JACKIE: Oh, yeah. Whore.


JACKIE's BEDROOM


Donna and Jackie are sitting in chairs, dressed in a bikini


JACKIE: Yeah, we'll show Penny with our new sunlamp tans. How dare she come into our town and try to ''out-hot'' us.

DONNA: I know. I mean, we don't go to her town and try and ''out-whore'' her. Well, she can't just show up all hot, shaking her butt around our guys. If our guys are gonna fantasize about moisturizing anybody, it should be us.

JACKIE: Right. But we're not gonna let them do that, are we?

DONNA: Let's just hope it doesn't come to that.


FORMAN LIVING ROOM


Red is reading in his chair. Kitty comes in


KITTY: Have you seen that little stray cat that's been hanging around our house?

RED: Oh yeah, I met him this morning. Then he met the hose. Kitty, we don't need more things hanging around our house. We already have Steven and Kelso... and ''foreign kid.''

KITTY: Yeah, but they're always busy. Maybe I should get my own cat. I'm not working. I'm home all day.

RED: Here's my problem with cats. Best-case scenario: You get the smartest cat in the world. He still craps in your house.

KITTY: Well it's just, it would be nice to have something to take care of.

RED: I'll tell you what, Kitty. Instead of getting a cat, why don't we all just stop flushing? t's the same thing!


FORMAN BASEMENT – THE CIRCLE


ERIC: Guys, I'm getting some weirdness from cousin Penny. Earlier, she gave me a hug, but this wasn't a cousin hug. Our middles touched. And not just for a second. She pressed.

KELSO: I've heard of ''kissing cousins.'' But have you ever heard of ''doin' it cousins''? 'Cause that's what I think Forman should be shooting for here.

ERIC: Kelso I appreciate the advice, but your solution to every problem is ''do it with her.''

KELSO: Well, it worked with my old science teacher. C-minus!

ERIC: Well unfortunately, Penny is my cousin. That'd be like looking at my mom and thinking, ''Hey, baby, how''... I'm just gonna stop right there.

FEZ: I've thought that about your mom, but I didn't stop right there.


Eric thumps him


FORMAN KITCHEN


Kitty is sitting at the table. Red comes in with a box


RED: Surprise! This oughta keep you company during the week.

KITTY: Roy's Pet Store? Red, you got me a cat!

RED: Well, it's like a cat.

KITTY: A fish? Red, it's a fish.

RED: See? It's like a cat. They're both pets.

KITTY: No they're not. Pets are called ''pets'' because you pet them. How do I pet this thing?

RED: Well you just reach in and corner it and give it a rub. That's the thing about fish: They just love the feel of the human hand.


JACKIE's BEDROOM


Jackie and Donna are sleeping. Under the sun tan lamps... Donna wakes up and looks in a mirror


DONNA: Jackie! Jackie, wake up.

JACKIE: Oh, my God. Donna, you're totally burned.

DONNA: Really? (she hands Jackie the mirror)

JACKIE: What have you done to me?

DONNA: Me? This was your stupid idea.

JACKIE: Did you call me ''stupid''? (she hits Donna on the arm)

DONNA: Ow! (she hits Jackie)

JACKIE: Ow! Lobster face! (she hits Donna again)

DONNA: Ow! Little Red Riding Bitch! (she slaps Jackie)

JACKIE: OW. Oh, my God! Okay! Now okay, let's just call a truce.

DONNA: Fine (Jackie hits her) Ow!

JACKIE (being hit by Donna): Ow!


They keep hitting each other on their burnt arms


FORMAN KITCHEN


Kitty is making fish sticks. The fish Red gave her is on the counter


KITTY: Don't look at me. Mrs. Paul killed these (she feeds him) Here. So... must get pretty boring living in a fishbowl, huh? Gets pretty boring around here too. You know, I used to work at a hospital and taking care of people... It felt so good to be needed. You know like-like part of a team? (we see and hear Kitty now from the view of the fish. Pretty scary) You know, people really depended on me, which I kind of miss. Oh, at least I don't... I don't miss the bedpans. Hahahahaha!


ERIC's BEDROOM


Eric is sitting on the corner of his bed, dressed in his pyjama's. Penny is dressed in tight sports gear, doing exercises


PENNY: Are you sure it's okay for me to do my yoga in here? Do Aunt Kitty and
Uncle Red allow girls in your room?

ERIC: Well you're my cousin, so you don't even really count as a girl. You're like a rock. A moving, talking, extremely limber rock.

PENNY (bending over backwards): Ooh, that's nice. Peterson's Auto Shop.

ERIC: What?

PENNY: Peterson's Auto Shop. That's what my T-shirt says. I noticed you were trying to read it.

ERIC: That's... Yes. Yes, I was. I uh... I kinda have like, a passion for T-shirt logos. Okay, well, bedtime for this logo fan, okay? (squeaky voice) Off you go (Penny leaves) Uh-oh. Naughty thoughts a-brewin'.


FORMAN KITCHEN


Breakfast is on. Eric is staring at Penny's chest


RED: Penny, you're cold. Go get a sweatshirt.

PENNY: Oh. Okay, Uncle Red.

RED: Eric do I have to tell you to stop staring at your cousin? Stop staring at your cousin. Kitty, where's breakfast?

KITTY: Honey, I'm-I'm running a little late. I was, um, redecorating Fluffy's bowl.

RED: Kitty, it's a stupid fish.

KITTY: What? (she picks up the bowl and leaves)

RED: Ohhh (to Eric) Cinnamon toast, get on it! (he follows Kitty)

ERIC (to Penny walking in): Oh so, decided against the sweatshirt. It's a bold choice.

PENNY: I saw Uncle Red leaving and I wanted to talk to you alone. See, I kind of have a crush on you.

ERIC: Okay Penny, okay. Look, I don't know what the laws are down in... Florida. But up here, the cousin-lovin' is really frowned upon.

PENNY: That's why I wanted to talk to you. Last week, I overheard my parents talking, and I found out that I'm adopted. So, technically, we're not even related.

ERIC: Well that's a twist.

PENNY: And all those feelings that I had about you that would've been wrong?

ERIC: Are pretty freakin' right! Bring it in! (they hug) Now you're warm and I don't feel bad about that.


FORMAN DRIVEWAY


The boys are shooting some hoops in the driveway


KELSO: So Penny's not even your cousin? All right. Well, in light of recent developments, I vote ''do it.''

FEZ: Do it, yellow belly!

HYDE: Look man, if you don't do it... I'm gonna do it. Then I'm gonna make fun of you.

ERIC: All right, fellas. I guess it's all systems go. Just (Donna and Jackie walk up) Hey, let's keep this between us, okay?

DONNA: Hey, what's up?

HYDE: Forman wants to nail his cousin.

ERIC: No. No, no, no, she's not my cousin. She was adopted. And what the hell happened to your face?

DONNA: What the hell happened to yours?

JACKIE: Burn!

ERIC: Yeah I gotta admit, Donna, that was a nice burn. And I don't mean what you said just there. I mean your face. Nice burn.

DONNA: Hey you know if you ever need a date for prom, you can just flip through the family album.

HYDE: Ooooh.

ERIC: Oh, God. You're just jealous because Penny is incredibly hot... and you're a throbbing red pile.

DONNA: Eric my sunburn will fade, but your shame will last forever.

ERIC: Yeah well, at least my shame won't... peel.


FORMAN KITCHEN


Penny is getting a glass of milk. Eric walks in


ERIC: Hey there's my girl. New logo. Nice.

PENNY: I was just having a glass of milk before bed.

ERIC: Oh well, you know you don't have to rush off. Sit. Come on. Let's gab awhile. So... let's get to the bottom of this crush, huh?

PENNY: You know what I'd really love to do? Stay up late and watch movies like we did when we were kids. Remember? All alone in the dark?

ERIC: That's a good plan.

PENNY: And let's wear our jammies!

ERIC: Excellent addition to the plan.

PENNY: Oh but I usually just sleep in a T-shirt and panties. Is that okay?

ERIC: Well, so do I! Er I mean, you know, man-panties... er... Underwear. You know what I meant.

PENNY: Great. The movie starts at 11. Don't be late.

ERIC: Okay, I won't (after she leaves) ''Man-panties''?


FORMAN KITCHEN


Kitty is washing Fluffy's bowl. Red walks in


RED: Kitty? What happened?

KITTY: Fluffy died.

RED: Well if it's any consolation, fish are never even really alive. They're just less dead.

KITTY: I know. You know, he wasn't good company, but at least he was company. Red, I'm unhappy.

RED: Oh! I gotta go to the store.

KITTY: I am a nurturer. I am not gonna be satisfied nurturing something you'd win at a carnival.

RED: Kitty, what do you want? I'll get you anything you want. Not a cat.

KITTY: I want to go back to the hospital to work.

RED: Oh. As long as it's not a cat, I'm good.

KITTY: Okay I think what you mean is ''I'm glad you're doing what makes you happy.''

RED: Oh of course. And I'm sorry that your fish died.

KITTY: Don't be. I flushed it.


FORMAN BASEMENT


Penny is sitting on the couch, dressed in a robe


ERIC (coming in): Good evening, milady. 11 o'clock on the nose.

PENNY: Well, we're all alone. I told Hyde to amscray for a while.So go ahead, take off your robe.

Eric takes off his robe, he is is a t-shirt and his underpants. He and Penny sit closely on the couch

KITTY (walking in from Hyde's room): Penny, there's no rat...

Penny jumps up from the couch

PENNY: Don't Eric! Don't!

ERIC: No, I was...

RED: Eric, step away from your cousin.

ERIC: No, she's not my cousin. She was adopted.

PENNY: I'm not adopted.

ERIC: Wh-What? What? She's lying!

KITTY: Eric, I saw her mother give birth to her. Now what is going on?

ERIC: I'm... sleepwalking?

RED: And I'm about to be ''sleepkicking'' your ass.

PENNY: Eric, what kind of person would lie about something as serious as being adopted?

ERIC: A liar who specializes in adoption lies: You. A mean, vindictive person.

PENNY: Like someone who would trap someone in a revolving door?

ERIC: Yes! Ohh. Mom, Dad, can... can Penny and I be alone for a minute?

RED: No! I'm not raising any flipper grandkids.

ERIC: No. Look, I just want to apologize to Penny.

KITTY: Fine. When you're done, you head right upstairs. I'm having Pastor Dave come over for an emergency house call.


They leave


PENNY: I guess this will teach you to play pranks on innocent little girls.

ERIC: This has taught me a lesson. And that is that I'm not gonna rest until I get you back way worse than you got me! Which by the way, wasn't really that bad!

KELSO: Actually, it's pretty bad.


Kelso is taking pictures of Eric in his underwear as he tries to get away and wrestles with Hyde for his bath robe and when they take his underpants as he runs up the stairs


END CREDITS

FORMAN PORCH


The gang is hanging on the porch


DONNA: Cousin Penny went back home, huh? Oh, wait, did I say cousin? Yeah, I meant cousin. Looks like that's two hot girls you can't have.

ERIC: Well, thank you for such a conservative estimate.

FEZ: By the way Donna, here's your copy of the pictures.

DONNA: Oh!

KELSO: Yeah, if you flip through 'em real fast, it looks like Eric's running.

ERIC: Gimme those.


They throw the pictures around so Eric has to chase after them


THE END

Ecrit par orelye 
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HypnoChat

Sonmi451 (20:59)

serieserie (20:59)

laisse le dehors

Sonmi451 (20:59)

tous mes voisins le remontent, ça me gave

serieserie (21:00)

rooh sont relous les voisins ^^

Sonmi451 (21:00)

car justement c'est à cause de ça que maintenant il réclame de sortir à n'importe quelle heure

Sonmi451 (21:00)

car quand il fait froid avant il rentrait le soir et partait le matin

serieserie (21:00)

oh

Sonmi451 (21:01)

mais bon comme hier par exemple, il est parti à 9h et un voisin l'a remonté à 11h

serieserie (21:01)

Ah beh génial...

Sonmi451 (21:01)

donc du coup, il sort plus l'aprem' et n'a qu'une envie sortir à 21h

serieserie (21:02)

Forcément ^^

Sonmi451 (21:02)

et quand je le fais descendre l'aprem' comme dimanche à 15h, il est déjà devant ma porte à 16h30, réclame de ressortir à 17h et quelqu'un me le remonte à 18h

Sonmi451 (21:03)

et après la nuit, le chat veut ressortir, j'ai beau dire à mes voisins de le laisser dehors

Sonmi451 (21:03)

l'argument de mes voisins, c'est que mon chat avait envie de rentrer

serieserie (21:03)

Ils veulent être gentil ^^

Sonmi451 (21:03)

mais depuis quand c'est un chat qui décide dans une maison?

serieserie (21:04)

Je sais pas chez moi c'est le chien x)

Sonmi451 (21:05)

non mais toi...je t'assure...t'en loupe pas une!

serieserie (21:06)

´fin bon Lizzy chihuahua de son état 2,5kg toute mouillée euh... et c'est elle qui fait la loi ^^

Sonmi451 (21:10)

mon chat fait un peu plus du double au niveau poids. ^^

Titepau04 (21:11)

Vous me faites trop rire!!!

serieserie (21:11)

Salut toi!!

serieserie (21:11)

C'est un peu le début de faire rire et réagir ^^

Titepau04 (21:12)

Et bah ça marche!

Titepau04 (21:12)

Coucou!!!

Sonmi451 (21:12)

mais ce n'est pas drôle, enfin que chez serie², elle a 2,5kg qui fait la loi chez elle

serieserie (21:13)

Beh en même temps quand le chien est appelé plus souvent bébé d'amour que par son nom...

Sonmi451 (21:15)

ha ouais c'est sûre

Sonmi451 (21:16)

tiens au fait tite' ton cocktail

Sonmi451 (22:11)

bonne nuit

Profilage (18:39)

Nouveau sondage sur Esprits Criminels, un petit vote ? Merci !

cinto (22:54)

Demain, 20 Janvier, dernier jour pour poster vos cartes de voeux 2017 pour la quartier Ma sorcière Bien Aimée. Gros merci à celles qui ont participé.

Sonmi451 (13:48)

Merci de venir voter dans préférence.

CastleBeck (17:52)

Sondage tout neuf sur Orange Is The New Black ... En plus, vous n'avez pas besoin de connaitre la série pour voter!

lizzy69 (21:52)

Bonsoir à toutes et tous, n'hésitez à passer sur les quartiers ROME et The Tudors, afin de nous aider à redonner vie aux différents forums merci pour votre participation

CastleBeck (14:02)

Nouvelle photo du mois sur OITNB... et nouveau sondage depuis hier.

lachieuse (17:26)

Nouveau design sur le quartier New Girl, par serieserie, n'hésitez pas à venir le commenter

Locksley (19:59)

@serie² : merci pour l'organisation de la soirée HypnoGame ce soir ! Enjoy ! Bonne chance aux équipes !!

serieserie (21:43)

Grande partie d'HypnoGame en cours venez nous rejoindre!!!!

lizzy69 (08:36)

Bonjour à toutes et tous, n'hésitez à passer sur les quartiers ROME et The Tudors, afin de nous aider à redonner vie aux différents forums

cinto (15:45)

Voilà, les cartes de Voeux pour 2017 sont soumises au vote chez Ma sorcière Bien aimée. Inutile de connaître la série, juste voir, apprécier, choisir et voter. Merci pour vos votes et aux membres qui ont eu la gentillesse de créer ces cartes.

serieserie (18:03)

N'oubliez pas de voter dans les préférences, des thèmes et des bannières attendent vos votes!

CastleBeck (18:41)

Avant l'arrivée de Orange Is The New Black sur la télé française, le quartier vous propose un nouveau sondage et une nouvelle photo du mois... Même pas besoin de connaitre la série

CastleBeck (16:17)

Il y a de jolies bannières et de beaux thèmes qui attendent dans les préférences. Les quartiers concernés seront ravis de vos votes.

serieserie (17:58)

Nouveau design sur Lucifer! Venez donner votre avis! Alors plutôt ou plutôt ?

leptitange (18:04)

vous aimerez voir castiel en couplle avec qui ? moi avec roweena

lizzy69 (18:28)

Bonsoir à toutes et tous, n'hésitez à passer sur les quartiers ROME et The Tudors, afin de nous aider à redonner vie aux différents forums merci pour votre participation

elyxir (19:45)

Personne pour m'aider à redonner vie au quartier The Glades ? Je vous y attends avec impatience pour le focus de Janvier !

emeline53 (22:03)

Pas encore de créas pour l'animation de la St Valentin sur The Fosters ! J'espère que des volontaires apparaîtront

emeline53 (22:03)

N'oubliez pas le quizz aussi !

carina123 (10:52)

Personne à ce jour n'a commenté les calendriers des quartiers Lie to Me et Jéricho + vous avez les sondages, venez nombreux ! Merci !

serieserie (13:02)

Nouveau design et toujours l'animation: L'associé du diable sur Lucifer! On vous attend!

serieserie (13:02)

Et un petit clic dans les préférences serait cool

Sonmi451 (14:15)

Oui pensez à voter dans préférence des bannières et thèmes attendent, merci.

CastleBeck (14:17)

Vous faites de l'excellent travail de promo! J'allais écrire la même chose

Sonmi451 (14:24)

Ben oui j'ai vu ta bannière^^

CastleBeck (15:03)

J'ai hâte qu'elle se retrouve dans le quartier, cette bannière

albi2302 (18:26)

Nouveau design sur Rizzoli & Isles ! Merci Serieserie

serieserie (20:52)

Allez encore un vote pour la bannière This is Us, je suis sur que les admins sont pressées d'avoir leur joli premier design !!

emeline53 (21:44)

Animations pour la St Valentin toujours en cours sur The Fosters ! Venez participer au concours de carte d'amour ou le quizz !

Rejoins-nous !

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