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403 : Script VO

Ce script VO a été migré dans le guide de l'épisode.

FORMAN BASEMENT

The gang is together in the basement. Donna comes in


JACKIE: Wow! Donna, you look great. What could it be? Oh, I know. You lost 80 pounds of ugly fat. Burn, Eric, burn!

ERIC: Okay, first of all I weigh a  130...49 pounds.

FEZ: Yeah. You look good too, Eric. You lost your one true love, so... Looking good.

DONNA: Eric, I found these records of yours, and I thought you might want them back.

HYDE: Ah, the unpleasant exchange of possessions after the horrific breakup.
Awkward for them, entertaining for us.

KELSO: Whoa, whoa. Shut up. Don Kirshner's starting.

DONNA: Oh, right. Paul McCartney and Wings are on tonight (she sits down)

ERIC (pacing around): Okay, so... Okay, we're all here now. So... So, Donna, you're staying?

DONNA: Okay.

ERIC: What I meant to say was... Look, Donna, I don't think it's cool if you hang out here.

DONNA: So, what, you're like, kicking me out? (silence) Wow. Okay then. Bye.

JACKIE: Well, if you're kicking her out, then you're kicking me out.

ERIC: No, Jackie no. Oh, wait. I mean, BYE!


OPENING CREDITS

PINCIOTTI LIVING ROOM


Jackie is sitting on the couch, Donna is pacing around


DONNA: So, it's just not fair. He doesn't, like, get my friends 'cause he has some stupid, crappy basement.

JACKIE: Right! You helped make that basement what it is today.

DONNA: Right. No one would even go over there before me. It smelled like feet.

JACKIE: Donna, you have to fight back. Okay, when a couple splits up the woman deserves her fair share of the life she helped build.

DONNA: How much is that?

JACKIE: All of it! Donna, it's the law.

DONNA: You know, normally, that statement would really offend me. But now that I'm single and pissed, you're making a lot of sense.


FORMAN BASEMENT – THE CIRCLE


Eric is ranting about Donna, the rest is looking pretty bored


ERIC: And then shejust comes down in the basement like it's no big deal. After what happened? And she's just gonna act like everything's cool and everything's fine? You don't love me, you don't get my couch... or my friends. I'm a package deal, baby.! So, I just told her, ''Fire up those walking sticks, Big Red, because this ain't happening. I'm not having it.''

HYDE (sighs): Hey, Forman, we were all there and that ain't how it happened. You wanna talk about it some more?

ERIC: Mmm, no.


FORMAN LIVING ROOM


The doorbell rings, Kitty answers it


DAVE: Hello, Kitty.

KITTY: Oh, Pastor Dave! What a nice surprise. How's... God?

DAVE: Fine, thank you. So, I was wondering if, uh, Red was home.

KITTY: Oh, no. What did he do?

DAVE: No. No, no, nothing. I just thought he might like to, uh- I don't know- goof off?

KITTY: You want to spend time with Red?!

DAVE: Unless it's a bad time.

KITTY: Oh, no, no, no. This is a great time (she runs off to the kitchen, whispering) Oh, my God! Red has a visitor! (in the kitchen to Red) Red, Pastor Dave's here! For you! Hurry!

RED: Oh, yeah. I ran into him in the hardware store. You know, he was gonna try to paint his garage without priming (laughing) That crazy bastard (he leaves for the living room)

KITTY: Oh, my. Red has a friend.


FORMAN DRIVEWA


Hyde pulls up, Fez jumps out the back. Kelso, Jackie and Hyde get out the front. Donna walks uo


DONNA: Psst! (whispering) What are you guys doing today?

FEZ (whispering): We're going to the basement.

DONNA: Hmm. Sounds fun. But you know what sounds like even more fun?

KELSO: Oh! Playing with a bunch of monkeys?

DONNA: Well, yeah. But we got cable TV at my house which we all know has the potential for flashes of brief nudity. Nudity!

The gang seem to think about the prospect

JACKIE: Cable? Oh, you are so gonna win this breakup!

FEZ: Now, wait just a minute. Eric is our friend, our brother. We cannot just abandon him for nude boobs.

HYDE: Good point, Fez. This nudity you speak of, are we talking full frontal?

DONNA: Does it matter?

HYDE: No. Let's go.


FORMAN BASEMENT


TV is on. Only Eric and Fez are there


ERIC: So, you have no idea where everyone is?

FEZ: Everyone who?

KELSO (coming in): Hey, you got any Popsicles? Donna's all out.

ERIC: Oh, so that's how it is? Everyone's over at Donna's?

KELSO (with a box of Popsicles in his hand): Eric, man, I'm sorry. And I know that we've been friends for, like, a really long time but, uh, we were watching Barbarella on cable. Man, and I not only saw boobs, but I saw boobs in space! Yeah, space boobs, Eric! There's no gravity!

ERIC: She got cable? That sneaky little wench.

KELSO: No, no. And corn dogs! (he leaves)

FEZ: Oh, dogs wrapped in corn. Oh, sweet meat on a stick.

ERIC: Just go.

FEZ: Thank you.


FORMAN KITCHEN


Kitty comes in carrying groceries. She sees a note that Red left for ger


KITTY: ''At Dave's. Back around : 5. Red.'' Oh!


She imagines Dave and Red painting a garage door together:


RED: I hadn't realized before, but the primer is like your emotions. It's what's underneath the surface.

DAVE: And the rust is like your anger.

RED: Boy... having a male companion to talk to is changing my life.


Later, Red and Dave are inside the garage building a bird house:


RED: I wish I could tell Kitty exactly how I feel about her but I just can't find the words.

DAVE: I'll help you. We'll find the words together.


Then Red and Dave are mowing the lawn together:


RED: Oh, sure sometimes I feel like crying, but I just can't.

DAVE: You can with me.

Back in the kitchen, Red comes in

RED: Hey.

KITTY: Oh, hello. So, how was your day? What did you and your new friend do?

RED: Well...


We see Red and Dave sitting on a couch, watching TV and eating crisps. Red
grunts and Dave responds "Yeah"


KITTY: So, that's all you did?

RED: Yep.

KITTY: Well, you didn't talk about anything?

RED: Nope.

KITTY: Do you hate him?

RED: Kitty, don't start.

KITTY: No, no, no. All I'm saying is, people with friends live longer. And you are not good at keeping friends. Bob's scared of you, and Earl isn't speaking to you. What about Frank?

RED: Frank's dead.

KITTY: Exactly. It is time to replace your dead friend Frank. I win.


PINCIOTTI LIVING ROOM


The gang are watching TV at Donna's


KELSO: Oh, look, there's a boob!

FEZ: There's two. Oh, wait. Four. It's the mother lode.

HYDE: Oh, man. Guy butt. Look away.

KELSO: I feel kinda bad.

JACKIE: Hon, it's just guy butt. It won't hurt you.

KELSO: No! About Eric. I mean, he was totally in the right to kick Donna out.

JACKIE: Oh, he was not right. Now, you agree with me!

KELSO: No (she pinches him) Ow.

JACKIE: Agree with me.

KELSO: No! Donna broke his heart, and now she should have to pay.

DONNA (to Kelso): Chex Mix?

KELSO: Oh, thank you, Donna.

JACKIE: Oh, we are so not talking.

KELSO: All right, Jack...

JACKIE: I said, not talking!

FEZ: Well done.

KELSO: All right, Fez. The...

FEZ: I said, well done!

ERIC (coming in): Oh, there are all my friends. Hey, Donna, I found these socks of yours so I thought I'd just, you know, run 'em right over.

He sits down between Hyde and Fez

DONNA: Eric, you can't hang out here. It's really uncomfortable, so...

ERIC: Uncomfortable? Who's uncomfortable?


Hyde, Fez, Jackie and Kelso raise their hands


ERIC: Oh, fine.

HYDE: Look, man, I'd go with you, but, you know, it's cable.

ERIC: Whatever.

HYDE: Hey, want me to come by later and tell you about the boobs?

ERIC: No! Yeah (he walks off)


FORMAN KITCHEN


Kitty is on the phone


KITTY: It's Dave for you (she hands him the phone and makes a happy dance)

RED: Yeah? Fine. Right. Okay. Hm. (he hangs up)

KITTY: You do not grunt to a friend. Friends don't grunt.

RED: Hm.

ERIC (running in): Okay, so I was over at the Pinciottis' crouched behind the hedge next to the house, and I distinctly heard laughter. Laughter! Well, I will tell you what. I am not going down without a fight. No, sirree, Bob. (Kitty and Red watch him in amazement) Bob!


FORMAN DRIVEWAY


Eric is talking to Bob


BOB: The kids really like my jokes?

ERIC: Oh. Mr. Pinciotti, if you only knew the number of times Donna's shared one of your doozies with the gang. Lordy, how we laugh and laugh. And laugh.

BOB: Right. I'm goin'.

ERIC: Okay.


PINCIOTTI LIVING ROOM


The gang are on the couch, listening to Bob's jokes


BOB: But the tennis pro says ''We don't serve those kind of balls". (only Fez likes the joke)

Bob is doing a magic trick but it backfires. Only Fez likes it. Then Bob is singing "What's new pussycat" and only Fez sings along


FORMAN BASEMENT


The gang are back


ERIC: Welcome home, friends. Who wants Popsicles?

JACKIE: Hey, I don't feel good about this.

KELSO: Well, would you rather be at Donna's singing backup to ''Cha Cha Di Amore''?


Donna comes in


ERIC: Oh. Well, will you look who's here.

DONA: That was a dirty trick, Forman.

ERIC: Well, I'd love to stay and talk about it, but we're on our way to the movies.

ALL: Yeah.

DONNA: Fine. Then I'm taking them bowling Saturday.

ALL: Yeah!

ERIC: Fine.

FEZ: Ooh, what a fun weekend.

HYDE: Hey, look, you guys can't buy our loyalty with these little field trips. You're gonna have to start buying us some stuff we can take home.

JACKIE: Well, look, I think it's stupid to have to go day by day. Why doesn't Donna just get us on the weekends?

KELSO: Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not fair because then Eric gets all the weekday headaches and Donna gets all the fun time.

DONNA: Fine. Then we'll make a schedule. Eric?

ERIC: Fine. Have a seat.

FEZ: Make sure to schedule time with Bob. He takes me to Chuckle Town.


FORMAN LIVING ROOM


Red and Kitty are in the living room


KITTY: So, um, what are you and Dave gonna do today? Go out to the garage and talk friend to friend? That would be nice.

RED: No. We're gonna turn on the fight and watch two nice men beat the living hell out of each other. That's nice.

Doorbell

KITTY: Oh, come on in, Pastor Dave. Red and I are just so happy that you are here. Especially Red.

RED: Kitty...

KITTY: I want you to know that it is so nice for Red to finally have a boyfriend.

RED: For God sakes, Kitty!

KITTY: Oh, lighten up, silly. ''Man friend.'' Whatever. Someone to talk to, share their feelings with. Anyway, you are an important part of Red's life.

DAVE: Oh. Well uh...

RED: Wait. No. Don't listen to her. I don't really want to share my feelings with you. Hell, I don't even think I have feelings. Now, let's just watch these two guys beat the crap out of each other.

DAVE: Sold!

KITTY: Well, I don't care what you say. You're boyfriends and that's nice.

DAVE: You know, Red, I am so glad that I have someone to share with because I woke up this morning feeling upset. Ha-ha! I gotcha!

RED: Good one, Dave. Good one! Don't ever do that again.


FORMAN DRIVEWAY


The gang all get out of Eric's car


HYDE: I'm just saying, Forman you really didn't deliver on the afternoon like I was hoping.

ERIC: Dude, I took you everywhere. I bought everything. It was a great day.

HYDE: I don't know, man. I mean, I asked you for a six-pack. You brought me out a tall boy. I'm just saying.

ERIC: Fine. Whatever (to Donna) They're all yours.

DONNA: Twenty minutes late.

ERIC: Sorry. We had to stop so Fez could pee.

FEZ: Yes, it was my fault. Please do not fight.

DONNA: Eric, listen, travel time should come out of your time, not mine. What's on Fez's face?

FEZ: Nothing. Nothing.

DONNA: Is that ice cream? Now he won't want dinner!

FEZ: I am sorry I ate ice cream, Donna. Do not be mad.

DONNA: Oh. Fez, I'm mad at Eric, not at you. This is not about you.

ERIC: Listen, I'm not about to limit our good time to help with yours.

DONNA: Why would you do anything to help me?

ERIC: Oh, you listen, missy. I'm not gonna...

FEZ: Stop it! Stop it! You are tearing us apart!

HYDE: I hope you're happy. Now you've upset Fez.

KELSO: Yeah alright and your fighting is making me and Jackie fight and that interferes with us doing it. And that ain't good.

JACKIE: So, until you guys fix this, we're not hanging out with either one of you. Let's go.

FEZ: Hyde, I'm sticky.

HYDE: Come on. Let's get you cleaned up.

FEZ: And I'm sleepy.

HYDE: I know. You had a big day!


They leave, leaving Donna and Eric behind


DONNA: This is your fault. None of this would have happened if you hadn't been such a jerk and kicked me out of the basement.

ERIC: Well, you came in and you were just so ''Oh, we broke up, and I don't care, and, hey, let's just watch TV.'' Tra la la la la

DONNA: Eric, I was faking it. I'm miserable and uncomfortable and this whole thing sucks.

ERIC: You're miserable? Well, that's great! I mean, I'm miserable too. Okay, so, how about this? We just hang out together and pretend everything's fine for, you know... for the sake of our friends.

DONNA: I can do that.

ERIC: Okay. But, you know, you have to stop trying to look so hot when you come over.

DONNA: I have not been doing that.

ERIC: Red lipstick, no bra?

DONNA: Okay, yeah, I did that.


END CREDITS

FORMAN BASEMENT


The gang are all in the basement


ERIC: And, Fez, you sit on the dryer. Okay. This new seating arrangement should really work.

BOB (coming in): There you kids are. I think I finally remembered the punch line to the Italian midget joke.

KELSO: My mom made fish.

HYDE: I gotta register for the draft.

JACKIE: Me too.

ERIC: I gotta go count my G.I.Joes.

DONNA: I'll be in the oven.


They all run off, exept for Fez


FEZ: Wow. Tough room.


THE END.
Ecrit par orelye 
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Sonmi451 (23:35)

Sur ce j'y vais aussi.

Sonmi451 (14:23)

Bonne journée à tous! Et Joyeuse St-Nicolas!

arween (18:40)

Vous êtes nombreux à fêter la Saint Nicolas ?

Xanaphia (19:04)

En tout cas chez moi aussi ça se fête Alors bonne Saint Nicolas

arween (19:05)

Dans le sud, ça ne se fête pas du tout

Xanaphia (19:11)

Et oui c'est plutôt du nord et de l'est de la France +la Belgique, si je ne dis pas de bêtise ^^

arween (19:11)

ouais donc loin de chez moi ^^

Xanaphia (19:12)

vous avez des fêtes spéciales par chez vous ?

arween (19:13)

Non rien du tout

arween (19:13)

Ah attends si on la fête de mai.

arween (19:14)

Mais je crois que c'est juste à Nice

Xanaphia (19:14)

la fête de mai ?

mnoandco (19:14)

Oui, chez moi aussi il y a la Saint Nicolas (Nord Est) ! et le père fouettard...pour les pas gentils...ne me sens évidement pas concernée!

arween (19:15)

Honnêtement je ne sors pas beaucoup là où il y a foule alors je sais pas trop ce qu'ils font

Xanaphia (19:15)

coucou ah oui le folklore local ^^

Lolo1710 (19:27)

Saint Nicolas c'est sacré en Belgique, les primaires font un spectacle chaque année puis les autre c'est surtout pour les bonbons ?

Xanaphia (19:29)

Ou les chocolats et les coquilles

Lolo1710 (19:41)

Ouaip, un truc génial aussi mais c'est peut être que dans mon école, c'est les filles qui font régime et qui troc des bonbons contre des mandarines

Sonmi451 (21:20)

Moi je fais saint-Nicolas car mon homme est du nord-Est mais ma fête à moi arrive jeudi. ^^

Sonmi451 (21:20)

Avec la fête des lumières.

Sonmi451 (21:21)

Bonsoir au fait!

Xanaphia (21:30)

Bonsoir Ah la fête des lumières ça doit être joli ^^

Sonmi451 (21:36)

Très.

Sonmi451 (21:37)

Cette année, je vais me contenter de mettre les lampions aux fenêtres.

serieserie (08:40)

Bonne journée de chasse aux cadeaux sur la citadelle!

CastleBeck (15:46)

BOnjour ici!
Je viens de lire qu'une de mes séries préférées est renouvelée pour une 4e saison avec ajout d'un de mes acteurs préférés. Il me semble que ça met du bonheur dans ma journée <--- Oui, ça ne m'en prend pas beaucoup!

CastleBeck (15:53)

(Tiens, dans l'article ils disent que ce sera diffusé prochainement sur France 2... C'est bon à savoir. Si vous voyez passer Mensonges sur France 2, vous regardez!)

aline2408 (22:27)

Joyeux Anniversaire James723

aline2408 (22:28)

Joyeux Anniversaire James723

James723 (22:28)

Thank you ^^

arween (18:46)

Venez voir les nouveaux calendriers de The Night Shift (serie²) et Dollhouse (Xana).

emeline53 (19:24)

Seulement 2 persones pour commenter le design Noël de The Fosters ? Venez donner votre avis en plus, un sondage sur votre souhait de cadeau est en ligne !

stella (19:25)

Special spécial Noel sur le quartier Downton Abbey et sans oublier son calendrier de l'avent original

DGreyMan (22:40)

Bonsoir. Sondage dédié à "Game of Thrones" dans le quartier "Harry Potter"...

DGreyMan (22:40)

... ou le contraire ! ^^

serieserie (09:07)

Plus que quelques jours pour vous inscrire à la grande soirée HypnoGame Arrow dans les forums de l'accueil ou par MP!!!

arween (09:44)

Bonjour à tous ! Aujourd'hui nous lançons une toute nouvelle rubrique, les reviews. Rendez-vous sur la page HypnoReview ou à l'accueil pour plus d'infos Bonne lecture et bonne journée !

Titepau04 (09:49)

Bonjour !!!! Venez vous inscrire aux concours de Noël dans les quartiers de ncis Los Angeles et s club 7!!!
Et n'hésitez pas à commenter les calendriers au passage!!

cinto (11:39)

Fans de Dallas, Friends, Petite maison , Mission impossible, venez défendre votre série préférée chez Ma sorcière bien aimée: sondage "génériques"!

grims (16:47)

Coucou à tous ! une petite visite sur les quartiers Sons of anarchy, Outlander et Vikings serait sympa de jolis calendriers de Noël vous y attendent : ) merci d'avance pour votre passage

choup37 (17:13)

Calendriers aussi chez Kaamelott, Merlin, Doctor Who, Torchwood et Musketeers

choup37 (17:14)

(c'est super ces deux onglets pour alterner entre blabla et promo)

stella (19:34)

Case 5 du calendrier de l'avent de Downton Abbey vient d'être dévoilée.

Titepau04 (22:11)

Bonjour !!!! Venez vous inscrire aux concours de Noël dans les quartiers de ncis Los Angeles et s club 7!!!
Et n'hésitez pas à commenter les calendriers au passage!!
Et profitez-en pour voter sur le sondage ncisla!!!!

mnoandco (09:56)

Coucou! Le quartier Blacklist propose 3 calendriers totalement différents et de circonstances pour ce mois de décembre. N'hésitez pas à venir les commenter.

sabby (10:19)

Hello la citadelle !! Le quartier Friday Night Lights aurait bien besoin de visites. Personnes pour voter au sondage ni commenter le nouveau design. Venez jouer au ballon avec moi, je m’ennuie un peu tout seule là_bas

serieserie (10:19)

Allez allez, on s'inscrit pour l'HypnoGame Arrow!!

mamynicky (10:27)

'Jour les 'tits loups Un calendrier de l'Avent gourmand sur Downton Abbey et un autre musical sur Empire. Si vous êtes en retard, vous pouvez le rattraper et n'oubliez pas de les commenter. Merci

Titepau04 (10:34)

Bonjour !!!! Venez vous inscrire aux concours de Noël dans les quartiers de ncis Los Angeles et s club 7!!!
Et n'hésitez pas à commenter les calendriers au passage!!
Et profitez-en pour voter sur le sondage ncisla!!!!

arween (13:12)

Bonjour à tous ! Une grande animation vous attends sur The Night Shift ainsi que le calendrier et le sondage. Et sur Dollhouse, il y a un nouveau calendrier qui ne demande qu'à être commenté

roro73 (15:22)

Bonjour Nouveau sondage et nouvelles PDM sur Wildfire. Venez nous voir, on s'ennuie un peu =P

mamynicky (19:11)

Edgemont a besoin de clics sur son sondage. Merci

chrismaz66 (19:26)

J'y go Mamy et toujours chez Dr House le sondage Bad Boys, votez pour votre chouchou inter-séries, et quelques clics pour Torchwood qui en a bien besoin, merci

Phoebus (00:03)

Bonjour, nouveau sondage sur le quartier de Person Of Interest.

arween (09:26)

Bonjour ! Nous n'avons que peu de participants à l'animation The Night Shift... Elle est pourtant ouverte à tous ! Allez ne soyez pas timide et venez nous rendre visite

SeySey (12:55)

Bonjour! Nouveau sondage spécial fête de Noel sur le quartier Under The Dome! Venez nombreux!

liliju (15:55)

Un sondage spécial Noël vous attend sur le quartier des zombies (The Walking Dead). Ils ont besoin de vous. Merci de votre temps

Titepau04 (17:06)

Bonjour !!!! Venez vous inscrire aux concours de Noël dans les quartiers de ncis Los Angeles et s club 7!!!
Et n'hésitez pas à commenter les calendriers au passage!!
Et profitez-en pour voter sur le sondage ncisla!!!!

chrismaz66 (17:39)

'Soir, venez départagez nos ex-aequo au sondage House, et Torchwood va bientôt fêter ses 10 ans : animations signées Choup! Un petit coucou serait sympa Merci

serieserie (09:44)

Tout dernier jour pour vous inscrire à la soirée HypnoGame ARROW de samedi soir!! Allez si vous aimez un minimum la série et que vous avez envie de passer une bonne soirée avec nous, venez vous inscrire à l'accueil, n'aillez pas peur!!!!

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