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318 : Script VO

Ce script VO a été migré dans le guide de l'épisode.


Donna is tutoring Kelso and Jackie in maths

DONNA: So if"x" equals seven, then "y" equals...


DONNA: : Wrong. Kelso?

KELSO: Uh... "L"?

DONNA: Also wrong. It's a pretty simple equation, guys. Just think about it for a second.

KELSO: You're so pretty. You don't even need to know math.

JACKIE: That's so weird. I was just thinking the same thing.

ERIC (girlie voice): Steven, you're so pretty you don't need to know nothin'.

HYDE (girlie voice): That's good, 'cause I'm stupid [Blows Raspberry]

KELSO: Oh, real mature, guys.

Fez comes in, panting and with his clothes torn

ERIC: Fez, what happened?

FEZ: I was walking back from the pep rally flush with school spirit when-when-when some boys from Fort Anderson, they jumped me and they slapped me, and they beat me... And look at what they did to my pom-poms.

HYDE (to Eric who is laughing): Hey, that's not funny, man.

FEZ: It's really not. They spray painted me on my ass.

Hyde and Eric now both laugh

FEZ: I want revenge against those Fort Anderson Snapping Turtles.

ERIC: Look, Fez, I'll tell you what. Let's go to the garage, and I'll get you some paint thinner.

FEZ: Ay, no.

ERIC: I'm sorry, Fez. It has to be done.

KELSO: Yeah, and the three of us have to watch.

FEZ: Fine. But this time, no smoking (they leave)

DONNA: Great. Now maybe we can get some work done.

JACKIE (sighs): Michael's so sweet.

DONNA: Uh-oh.

JACKIE: He's just so...


JACKIE: Do you think that Michael and l...

DONNA: Don't even say it, Jackie.

JACKIE: I think maybe...

DONNA: I'll kill myself, I swear to God.

JACKIE: He and I should get back together.

DONNA: Jackie, do you remember how Kelso cheated and hurt you and lied to you?

JACKIE: Listen to yourself, Donna. "Cheat-ed." "Hurt-ed." "Lie-duh." It's all ancient history. But when we look into each other's eyes I know we're both thinking about the same thing.

DONNA: Your hair?

JACKIE: No. That we're meant to be together. Look, I need to know that he's really changed. I need to test him somehow.

DONNA: I agree.

JACKIE: You do?

DONNA: Absolutely. If you get back with Kelso, you better have him tested.



Jackie and Donna are discussing tactics

JACKIE: Okay. I want to see if Michael is ready to be in a healthy, adult relationship so I've come up with five psychological tests.

DONNA: Damn, Jackie. He can't even spell "psychological."

JACKIE: Look, besides, he only has to get three out of five. And the first test is on maturity.

KELSO (running in): Oh, man. So we're trying to get the paint off of Fez's butt, right? So I started to spray lighter fluid on it. And Fez gets all mad, right? And then he started chasing me, but he had his pants around his ankles. So then he tripped and fell, and I think he hurt himself but I don't know, 'cause I was, like, out of there. So what's going on with you guys?

JACKIE: Donna and I were discussing our careers. I'm going to high-end cosmetics and Donna thinks she'll make a great lumberjack.

DONNA: Stop telling everybody that.

JACKIE: So what kind of career do you see yourself in?

KELSO: Okay, well, I was considering becoming a doctor.

JACKIE: Ooh. A doctor? That's so mature.

KELSO: Or... a rodeo clown.

JACKIE: Rodeo clown? You want to be a rodeo clown. Why?

KELSO: Rodeo clowns are the unsung heroes of the new West. And you know I've always enjoyed being inside of barrels.


Kitty is baking, Red comes in

RED: Cheese puffs! Ow!

KITTY: Well, see, they're not for you. They're for Bob and Midge's party.

RED: Oh. Bob and Midge are having a party? Well, I can't go. I'm very, uh... busy.

KITTY: Oh, wait. Bob didn't invite you?

RED: No, but thanks for the heads-up. I'll be sure to avoid 'm.

KITTY: Huh. Midge didn't invite me either. But I'm sure they're having a party. I saw them bring a keg and a lot of chairs into the house.

RED: Well, you don't know that they're having a party. Bob's out of work. The two of them might be starting some weirdo church. You know, the kind of church where you, uh sit around on chairs and drink beer.

KITTY: I'm sure Midge will be over any minute...the last minute, like always, to invite us.

RED: I tell ya. I like the sound of a beer church.

MIDGE (coming in): Hi, neighbor. I have something I want to ask you.

KITTY: Oh, really?

MIDGE: Can I borrow your big punch bowl?

KITTY: A big punch bowl? Oh, my, what would that be for? Ahahahaha!

MIDGE: Uh-oh. I should have thought this through. You know, forget about it. I'm gonna get someone else to bring it (gasps) And by "someone else," I mean Bob.

KITTY: Midge, I- I already made your cheese puffs.

MIDGE: Ooh, thanks. [Sniffs] Mmm! Boy, all these cheese puffs are really gonna
come in handy. 'Cause Bob's so hungry. We're not having a party.


Jackie is still testing Kelso

JACKIE: Okay, this next test is about consideration. I want to see if he'll choose my interests over his.

DONNA: This is gonna be so funny.

KELSO (showing his snow cone): Grape.

JACKIE: So Michael... There are two events occurring this weekend. One that you might like and one that I would really, really, really really want to go to. Now,
should we go see the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders...

KELSO: Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.

JACKIE: Yes, or...

KELSO: No. Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.

JACKIE: But Michael, I want...

KELSO: No. Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders!

DONNA: See? Funny.


Kelso and Hyde are throwing an egg back and forth

DONNA (coming in): Kelso, what are you doing?

KELSO: We're just tossing around this egg Jackie gave me to take care of.

DONNA: Don't you think it might break?

KELSO: Yeah, uh, well, we just thought we'd have some fun with it before I threw it at somebody.

DONNA: You are such a moron. You are so gonna fail Jackie's test.

KELSO: Test? What test?

DONNA: I'm not supposed to say anything, but Jackie's testing you to see if you're ready to get back together.

KELSO: Oh, my God. Are you serious? Do you think I have a chance?

DONNA: Not a good one. You've already failed two tests and you're about to fail
the third. That egg is a test of your parenting ability.

KELSO: So what you're saying is if I break that egg then I fail the test, and lose Jackie the girl I love more than anything in the world? Hyde, give me the egg.

HYDE: Okay, catch (he smashed the egg into the back wall) Whoops. I mean...hehehehe!


Eric, Fez and Hyde come in, armed with toilet paper and spray paint

ERIC: Okay, you guys let's do this for Fez.

FEZ: Finally my butt cheeks will be avenged.

A little later, the locker room is thoroughly wrecked

FEZ: Voilà.

HYDE: Guys, I feel like we accomplished something today. I feel like we made a difference.

FEZ: Oh, I'm not done yet. Taste my wrath, Snapping Turtles (he runs off to the shower area)

Footsteps, Hyde and Eric hide, a hand opens the door...and turns off the light

HYDE: That was a close one.

The door is getting locked

ERIC: Crap! The janitor locked us in.

HYDE: Yep. No good deed goes unpunished.

ERIC: Oh, my God. How could this get any worse?

FEZ (comes running from the toilet): Okay, guys we have 20 seconds until the cherry bomb in the toilet goes off.


Donna and Jackie are still there. Kelso comes in, carrying a box

KELSO: Hey, guys.


JACKIE: What's that?

KELSO: Oh, it's just this little crib-like thing I made for Eggy.

DONNA: Eggy?

KELSO: Yeah, I named him. I don't know, this egg is, like, bringing out all the parental stuff in me.

JACKIE: Michael, what happened to the pencil mark I made on the bottom?

KELSO: Oh. Must have come off when I was giving him his gentle bath.

DONNA: Nice.

JACKIE: Michael, I knew you had this in you. You are gonna make a great dad one day.

KELSO: Yeah. Uh-oh. Somebody needs a change (he leaves)


Red and Kitty are watching TV

KITTY: Oh, I just can't believe Midge would do this after all the years we've been friends. She took the cheese puffs.

RED: All the cheese puffs? What the hell? I wanted some of those.

KITTY: Red, this isn't about the cheese puffs.

RED: Well, maybe not for you. They're so light and fluffy.

KITTY: This is all your fault.

RED: What?

KITTY: You're always mean to them. Now you've driven them away. I hope you're happy.

RED: Actually, Kitty, I am happy. Them not inviting us to the party is not the end
of the world. In fact, it's the start of a beautiful new world... a world where we
don't get invited to the Pinciottis'.

KITTY: There's no talking to you. You're just sour. You're an old, sour crab apple.

RED: Why are you yelling at me? I'm not the one that didn't invite you to a party. If you've got something to say, you say it to the Pinciottis.

KITTY: Well, you talked me into it, Red Forman. Let's go.

RED: Oh, no.


The guys are still locked in

FEZ: Look at us... locked in a locker room. Oh, the irony is not lost on me (toilet flushes) Why do you mock us, Fate?

ERIC: Okay, you guys, we gotta think about a way to get out of here.

HYDE: Okay, guys, I've just gone through every escape-from-prison movie I could think of, and I came up with something.

ERIC: What?

HYDE: Steve McQueen is a total bad-ass.

ERIC: Okay, thanks, Hyde. That's not helping. If we don't get out of here, a bunch of jocks are gonna come in here and kick our asses.

FEZ: Why did I put a cherry bomb in the toilet? It doesn't smell like cherries at all.

ERIC: Come on, guys, think.

HYDE: Yeah, yeah. Right. Gotta be something we can do. I got it.

A little later....in the circle...

HYDE: Hehehehehe. Much better.

ERIC: Yeah. Now instead of feeling scared and anxious... I feel relaxed and...relaxed.

FEZ: I know we're probably gonna get beaten but it was worth it because we've shown we have tremendous school spirit (crying) Go Vikings.

HYDE: School spirit is for losers, man. You're just, like, floating along... on a conveyor belt of conformity. Pep rallies, extracurricular activities...washing your hair... It's all just a trap, man.

ERIC: Yeah, Fez. It's one thing to root for a football team but to confuse the Point Place Vikings... with a sense of personal identity, that's just.... relaxing. We're all gonna die tomorrow.


Jackie walks over to Kelso

JACKIE: Michael, I have some bad news. I just found out I have B.H.D.


JACKIE: Yeah. Brittle Hair Disease. I have to go to the hospital tomorrow and get all my hair shaved off.

KELSO: So you'll be...

JACKIE: Bald, Michael. B-A-L-D, no hair, shiny head, bald. And my hair won't ever grow back either. Will you still love me when I'm bald?

KELSO: You could wear a wig.

JACKIE: So, Michael, are you saying that you would not love me if I didn't have a luscious, full-bodied head of hair?

KELSO (seeing Donna laughing in the background): Oh! No, Jackie. I would love you even more. You know, I would shave off my hair and paste it to your head.

JACKIE: Michael, that's beautiful! (she runs off)

DONNA (walking up to him): Nice job.

KELSO: Thanks. That was a test, right? 'Cause bald chicks are gross.


Red and Kitty walk up to the Pinciotti's

KITTY: Look at that. They closed the blinds, so we couldn't see the party. But I can hear them (shouting) I can hear you, Bob and Midge! I can hear your party!

MIDGE (as Bob opens the blinds a bit): Ooh. Kitty and Red. We've very busy in here.

BOB: Yes, we're very busy. We'll talk tomorrow.

KITTY: You're having a party, and you didn't invite us. And I thought we were friends, and we're not. And I'll tell you something else (she opens the door. Bob is holding a tray in front of his otherwise naked body) You're naked. You have no clothes on. Why don't you have any clothes on?

BOB: Well, we're having a nudist party with our fellow nudists. We're, uh, nudists.

KITTY: And we're not. Ahahahaha! So, you didn't invite us. So, thank you. Come on, Red. Let's go.

RED: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Kitty. What are you saying? You really wanted to attend this party.

KITTY: Stop it, Red.

RED: No, no, no, no. Now get in there and have yourself a good old naked time, huh? Who knows? They might play Twister. Could be fun.


Fez is trying to undo some damage

FEZ: Okay, guys, they can't be mad at us now.

ERIC: Yeah, Fez, I don't think that's gonna help.


HYDE: All right, here they come.

ERIC: Okay, you guys, here's the plan. Fez, you beg for mercy in broken English.
Hyde, you insist that this whole thing was a big setup. And I'll just curl up in the fetal position and think about pancakes.

HYDE: Got it.

FEZ: Got it.

The door opens, and some girls walk in

HDYE: Oh, my God. We're in the girls' locker room.

ERIC: Yeah. They're girls.

FEZ: Phew! And I thought we were going to get beaten up for sure (a girl walks up to Fez) Hey, baby!

She hits him really hard and then the other girls join in to beat them up


A girl come on to Kelso

TIFFANY: Hi, Kelso.

KELSO: Hi, Tiffany.

TIFFANY: I'm so glad I ran into you. I've been meaning to ask you something.

KELSO: Yeah? What's that?

TIFFANY: Will you take me back to your house and make out with me?

KELSO: Well, I...(chuckles) I don't know. Yeah, I'm here to meet Jackie, so...

TIFFANY: I promise she'll never find out. It'd be an afternoon of secret make-out fun. You can drink grape juice from my belly button.

KELSO (in his mind):  All right, this has got to be one of Jackie's tests. I mean,
Tiffany never comes on to me. But what if it's not? I mean, let's face it, I look good today. That new conditioner's really working out. All right, but the real question is, should I risk it? And my body says yes, and my head says yes but my heart says no. Aw, my stupid heart's right.

KELSO (to Tiffany): I can't. I mean, I appreciate the offer and all 'cause you're, like, really hot but the only girl I want to make out with is Jackie, so...

JACKIE (running up to him): Oh, Michael, you did it! You did it! You passed the last test!

TIFFANY: Did you believe me, Michael?

KELSO: Yeah, sure.

TIFFANY: Oh, good, because I'm in drama club, and I really want-

JACKIE: Yeah, thank you, Tiffany, bye-bye (squealing)  Michael, now I know I can honestly trust you with all my heart. Ooh!

KELSO: Um...Jackie, Donna told me about the test. So I knew what was going on, and I didn't say anything. So maybe I don't deserve to be with you because that wasn't very honest of me.

JACKIE: But telling me that was.

KELSO: Damn. You're right. So you'll take me back?

JACKIE: Yeah, Michael.

KELSO: I love you, Jackie Burkhart.

JACKIE: I love you too, Michael Kelso.

They kiss



Donna, Jackie and Kelso are sitting around. Hyde, Eric and Fez come in, their clothes ruined

DONNA: What the hell happened to you guys?

ERIC: We got beaten up.

HYDE: By men.

ERIC: By big, strong men.

FEZ: Hey, guys, as I was getting beaten I think I got to second base.


Ecrit par orelye 
Bannière de l'animation HypnoDesign 10-2016
Activité récente

Saison 4
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Saison 3

Épisode 410
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4x10: Musiques
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4x10: Captures

Épisode 409

4x09: Captures

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carina123 (18:46)

Nouveau sondage sur le quartier Jéricho, n'hésitez pas à venir, merci, Bonne soirée

emeline53 (19:55)

Au programme de ce dimanche soir : nouveau sondage sur Life Unexpected, nouvelle photo de l'épisode pour le retour de The Vampires Diaries + le review pour commenter l'épisode ! On vous attend et le sondage spécial Halloween sur The Fosters est toujours dispo !!

grims (20:09)

Bonsoir tout le monde ! déjà cinq participants pour le concours wallpapers Samain sur le quartier Outlander ! venez vous inscrire et nous faire partager vos talents merci et bonne soirée sur HypnoSeries

grims (20:10)

Et à l'occasion du "Focus sur Nip/Tuck", le quartier relance la photo du mois ! et quoi de mieux que de départager des wallpapers ! alors bon vote !!!

man0n49 (20:56)

Le quartier Chicago Fire a ouvert encore plus ses portes à la série Chicago Med ! N'hésitez pas à venir commenter les épisodes de Chicago Med avec nous et à développer la série sur le quartier ! On vous attend nombreux.

carina123 (21:57)

Nouveaux sondages sur les quartiers Lie to Me et Jéricho, venez nombreux ! Merci, Bonne soirée à tous !

Steed91 (10:35)

Bonjour à tous,

serieserie (11:44)

Concours entre Archers pour Arrow et Robin des Bois, 10 ans du quartier sur Bones, CPDAwards sur Chicago PD, un nouveau jeu dans les forums de Scorpion, les 7 pêchés capitaux sur Lucifer, je vous attend Pas le temps de s'ennuyer!

abeilledic (12:18)

Nouveau débat sur Ma sorcière bien-aimée ^^. Venez nous donner votre avis

albi2302 (17:35)

Une soirée HypnoGame spéciale Halloween, est organisée samedi 29 octobre.
C'est un thème général sur les séries de sorcières, vampires, fantômes, zombies, monstres, horreurs et surnaturels.
Vous avez jusqu'au 26 octobre pour vous inscrire sur le forum

Naley47 (21:50)


grims (21:53)

Bonsoir tout le monde ! déjà cinq participants pour le concours wallpapers Samain sur le quartier Outlander ! venez vous inscrire et nous faire partager vos talents merci et bonne soirée sur HypnoSeries

grims (21:54)

Et à l'occasion du "Focus sur Nip/Tuck", le quartier relance la photo du mois ! et quoi de mieux que de départager des wallpapers ! alors bon vote !!!

chrismaz66 (08:04)

Je sors aussi mes DR. HOUSE Venez découvrir chaque jour les réponses au jeu 1 personnage = 1 animal, et venez en discuter si vous n'êtes pas d'accord ou bien oui! Et venez rire avec nous! Nice Day

albi2302 (11:20)

Une soirée HypnoGame spéciale Halloween, est organisée samedi 29 octobre.
C'est un thème général sur les séries de sorcières, vampires, fantômes, zombies, monstres, horreurs et surnaturels.
Vous avez jusqu'au 26 octobre pour vous inscrire sur le forum

carina123 (17:58)

Bonjour à tous ! * Sondages sur quartiers Lie to Me et Jéricho, venez, Merci !

emeline53 (21:45)

Le concours Freeform est toujours en place ! Les quartiers PLL, Shadowhunters, Baby Daddy et The Fosters (entre autres !!) vous attendent pour participer au quizz et/ou au concours de wallpapers bonne soirée !

carina123 (09:46)

Le calendrier du quartier Lie to Me pour le mois de novembre est déjà posté !, n'hésitez pas à venir pour les sondages des quartiers Lie to Me et Jéricho, Bonne journée à tous !

Locksley (12:16)

Il vous reste quelques jours pour départager les cartes de notre concours HypnoDesign Halloween. Pensez à aller voter et à commenter les créations, ça fera plaisir aux participants ! Bonne journée !

albi2302 (17:14)

Plus que quelques heures pour vous inscrire à la partie HypnoGame spécial Halloween de samedi !
Pour plus d'informations, rendez-vous sur le forum.

DGreyMan (23:28)

Vous l'attendiez tous (au moins quelques uns, en tout cas) : le sondage nouveau du quartier Game of Thrones vient d'arriver ! Merci d'avance au futurs votants et gros poutous au futurs commentateurs ^^

serieserie (11:03)

On approche des derniers jours pour participer au grand concours des Archers de la citadelle avec Arrow et Robin des bois!! Allez allez on s'inscrit et vite sinon, prenez gare aux flèches perdues!

serieserie (11:04)

Et nouveauté chez les #OneChicago!! Un grand concours vient d'être mit en place, deux façons de participer dont une totalement inédites venez vite vous renseigner sur les quartiers Chicago PD et Chicago Fire
(et parce que ça fait longtemps, un petit convois)

grims (11:30)

Hello tout le monde ! déjà cinq participants pour le concours wallpapers Samain sur le quartier Outlander ! venez vous inscrire et nous faire partager vos talents merci ! et n'oubliez pas notre photo de la quinzaine !

grims (11:31)

Et à l'occasion du "Focus sur Nip/Tuck", le quartier relance la photo du mois ! et quoi de mieux que de départager des wallpapers ! alors bon vote !!!

man0n49 (13:30)

Super concours d'écriture sur CF et CPD ! n'hésitez pas à vous inscrire, vous avez un mois pour écrire vos OS à très vite !

CastleBeck (17:14)

En plus de la photo du mois , il y a un nouveau sondage sur Nip/Tuck, venez voter, ça prend 3 secondes (environ) !

ptitebones (17:50)

Coucou ! L'édito a changé sur le quartier NCIS, j'attends vos avis ! De plus, vous pouvez venir départager les meilleurs slaps, dans la photo du mois (qui est encore un gif du mois ^^) Merci, pour vos futurs passages ! Bonne fin de journée !

grims (22:15)

Bonsoir tout le monde ! le concours wallpapers Samain vous attend sur le quartier Outlander ! venez vous inscrire et nous faire partager vos talents merci ! et n'oubliez pas notre photo de la quinzaine !

grims (22:18)

Et à l'occasion du "Focus sur Nip/Tuck", le quartier relance la photo du mois et vous propose un tout nouveau sondage merci de faire un petit détour !!!

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