VOTE | 54 fans |

310 : Script VO

Ce script VO a été migré dans le guide de l'épisode.

KELSO's VAN

Kelso is driving, Donna is sitting next to him, Eric's in the back


KELSO: Well [Chuckles] Okay. Now that we're all in the van and you guys can't change your mind, I just want you to know that we're not exactly on the way to my uncle's fabulous cabin in the woods. It's really more of an ice shack.


DONNA: Did you say ice shack?


KELSO: Hmm? Yeah. Oh, and, uh, the hot tub [Chuckles] It's really more of a garbage can. Oh, but it's also the bathroom, so-


DONNA: Kelso, turn this van around!


ERIC: No, Donna, wait. Is there beer?


KELSO: Tons. Hey, and we don't even need a refrigerator... 'cause it's so freakin' cold.


ERIC: Paradise.


KELSO: Yeah. Oh, and, uh, before we pick up Jackie... I just want to make sure everybody knows what this trip is about.


DONNA: The fabulous hot-tub toilet?


KELSO: No. Eric, tell her about my master plan.


ERIC: Oh. Yeah. See, Kelso, when you start a sentence with the words "master plan," I just kind of know it's gonna be stupid, so I just naturally tune out.


KELSO: Okay, well, my master plan is...Eric! Pay attention! This is about a romantic double date. It's you and Donna and me and Jackie.


DONNA: Kelso, you do know you're not actually dating Jackie, right?


KELSO: That's why it's a secret double date. See, I told Jackie that the whole
gang was coming  but then, I didn't invite Hyde, especially not Fez. He's all over
Jackie.


DONNA: Look. I'm not doing this. Turn this van around!


KELSO: No! I need you guys. See, if you're there...You guys are, like, the perfect
couple. And-And if you're there then, I can just copy all the sissy, loser things that Eric does for you.


ERIC: I really do enjoy your sissy, loser things. Yeah, like when I had first dibs on that seat, but I took the hump. It's a small price to pay to keep my lady happy.


KELSO: Exactly. I want to be that dork.


ERIC: Hmm. Kelso, why are you speeding up?


KELSO: I gotta beat this light.


DONNA: Why?


KELSO: I just- I gotta! [Brakes Squeal] Damn it!


The door opens and Fez jumps in, on Donna's lap


FEZ (panting): What are you doing? I've been chasing you for six blocks.


KELSO: I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't see you.


FEZ: Yeah, nice try. I know all about your master plan. Now, drive, you sneaky
son of a bitch.


OPENING CREDITS

AT THE ICE SHACK


JACKIE: You brought me to an outhouse?


ERIC: Actually, Jackie...[Bangs On Can] That's the outhouse.


KELSO: No! No, it's an ice shack, for fishing. I...This is gonna be a blast. I me- It is so beautiful out here. Plus, I brought lotion.


DONNA: Ooh, it's kinda cold.


ERIC: Here, take my jacket.


DONNA: I love you.


ERIC: God, we are such the... perfect couple.


JACKIE: I'm cold too.


KELSO: Well, damn, Jackie. I can't control the weather!


FEZ: Here, Jackie, take my coat.


JACKIE: Ohh, thanks, Fez (she walks inside)


ERIC: So, sweetie, what do you want to do?


DONNA: Whatever you want to do, honey.


ERIC: I want to go inside.


DONNA: That's what I want to do too.


ERIC: Oh, my God! Let's go! (they walk inside)


KELSO: Hey, what the hell was that jacket business, man? Uh, you're making me look bad.


FEZ: Look, Kelso, you are my good, good friend but I will stop at nothing to win Jackie and if you're in my way, I will destroy you.


FORMAN KITCHEN


Red and Kitty are having lunch


RED: This is nice, you coming home for lunch.


RED: Yeah.


Laurie comes into the kitchen, still in her dressing gown


KITTY: Good afternoon, sunshine. So, what have you got planned for today?


LAURIE: Same as every day. Lie on the couch, do my nails, avoid talking to you.
It's not going that well, so far (she leaves)


KITTY: Red, that girl does nothing but party all night and sleep all day. She's gonna end up like Aunt Martha. Remember the beer gut on her?


RED: She's not gonna end up like Fat Martha.


KITTY: Poor woman got so large she couldn't play putt-putt.


RED: Geez, don't remind me. That par two was the longest three hours of my life.


KITTY: Red, your daughter is drifting. So what are you gonna do?


RED: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna start eating my lunch at the office.


FOTO HUT


Hyde is working, Leo comes in


HYDE: Leo, man, glad you're here. I've been really busy.


LEO: Oh, yeah? I guess my "buy one, get one free" flyer is really bringing in the business.


HYDE: That's 'cause you forgot the "buy one" part.


LEO: Oh, no. Well, good thing we're closing early, man 'cause I need you to give me a ride over to my Cousin Larry's.


HYDE: I don't have a car, man.


LEO: You can drive mine, man. I can't drive since my license got suspended.


HYDE: Why? What'd you do?


LEO: Well, I dropped it in some soda, you know? And it just hung there,
suspended. And then when I was looking at it, I ran a red light.


INSIDE THE ICE SHACK


Donna, Eric, Jackie, Kelso and Fez are ice-fishing


ERIC: Boy, ice fishing's fun.


KELSO: I like this place, out here in the middle of a frozen lake. It's cozy, don't you think, Jackie?


JACKIE: If by "cozy," you mean "small and smelly," then, yes!


KELSO: Good one, Jackie. That's funny.


FEZ: Well, she needs a sense of humor with an unfaithful ex-boyfriend who brings her to a dump like this.


KELSO: Ow. Nice.


FEZ: Thank you. I mean, Eric would never take Donna to a place like this.


DONNA: Fez, it wouldn't matter where we were. Just being together makes it fun.


ERIC: Aw. But I would never bring you to a place like this because I know that you don't like such small, smelly places.


DONNA: You know me so well.


ERIC: Eskimo kiss.


FEZ: Too bad Kelso doesn't know anything about Jackie.


KELSO: Whoa. That is not true. I know everything about her. In fact, I'll bet I
know more about Jackie than Eric knows about Donna.


ERIC: Whoa, Kelso. Walk before you run, baby.


JACKIE: You think you know me, Michael? Then prove it.


FEZ: Oh, I have an idea. Let's play The Newlywed Game. Eric and Donna versus
Kelso and Jackie. And I will be the impartial judge who gets Jackie in the end.


KELSO: What?


FEZ: I mean, uh, good...good luck to everyone.


THE CAR


Hyde is driving, Leo is sitting next to him with a big brown bag on his lap


HYDE: Hey, Leo, what's in the bag, man?


LEO: How can I put this? Let's just say in this bag are illegal drugs.


HYDE: What? Come on, man. You know I'm on probation!


LEO: Nah, it's cool, man. All you have to do is just not get pulled over [Sirens Wail] What did I just tell you, man?


ICE SHACK


The game is about to start


FEZ: Gentlemen, our ladies have already written down the answers to their questions. First up, Eric. Eric, what is Donna's favorite Pizza topping?


ERIC: Pepperoni.


FEZ: Donna?


DONNA: Pepperoni!


ERIC: We're such the perfect couple!


DONNA: I know!


FEZ: Now, Kelso...


KELSO: Mushrooms!


FEZ: No, no, no, no, no. That is not your question. And minus two for interrupting the host.


KELSO: Oh.


FEZ: Minus two.


KELSO: Okay, sorry.


FEZ: It's okay. Minus two. Now, Kelso, last summer you "accidentally" bounced
Jackie off a trampoline. When she woke up in the hospital, what were her first words?


KELSO: Oh, uh, you..."Michael, you idiot."


Jackie (gasping): Michael, you remembered!


FEZ: Wow, he remembered. Okay, Eric, according to Donna what is Donna's last name?


ERIC: Pinciotti.


DONNA (shrieking): Oh, my God!


ERIC: Yes!


FEZ: Correct. Now, Kelso, Jackie has distant relatives in the Cook Islands. In the early 1900s, what species of turtle did they save from extinction? Take your time.


KELSO: Ladder-back.


Jackie holds up her card and screams


JACKIE: Michael, you're amazing! (they hug) Oh.


FEZ: No, no, no, no. No hugging!


JACKIE: I'm sorry, all right? I forgot.


FEZ: That's right, and let's try to remember that, little lady.


A little later


FEZ: Well, the score is horribly close.


JACKIE: I'm very impressed, Michael.


KELSO: Yeah, well, I guess you just remember things about those you care about.


FEZ: Oh, please. I'm gonna puke. Let's get this nightmare over with. Okay,
Donna if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?


DONNA: Um, well, there's stuff I'd change but I know Eric, and he'd say "Nothing."


ERIC: No, but, wait. But that's not the question.


DONNA: Wh-Why? What'd you answer?


ERIC: It doesn't matter what I answered, because you answered wrong and I
don't...I don't...I don't want to play anymore.


DONNA (taking the card from him): "Huge Wile E. Coyote feet"? What the hell does that mean?


FEZ: It means you have enormous feet. Jackie...


DONNA: Whoa, whoa, Fez. Eric, you think I have enormous feet?


ERIC: No. No, no. You think that. Last week, you said you hated your "huge Wile E. Coyote feet."


DONNA: Eric, I only said that so you'd say they're not big.


ERIC: And they're not big.


KELSO: I'm sorry, but, dude, that's a lie.


DONNA: Oh, my God, I don't believe this.


ERIC: No, Donna, no, you're looking at this all wrong. Big feet make you, like,
really stable. You know? Really hard to... knock over.


DONNA: Get bent (she gives him a push that lands him on Michael's lap, then
leaves)


ERIC: See? I have small feet.


ERIC That's where- Donna? Are you going somewhere, honey? (he follows her)


FEZ: Okay, this is it. For all the marbles. Jackie. What was your answer?


JACKIE: Um, hmm... well if I had to change one thing about me it would have to be that I'm too cute and all other girls are jealous.


FEZ: Kelso?


Kelso looks at Jackie in slow-motion, he holds up his card and it says: Too cute – all other girls jealous. He screams and Jackie shrieks


JACKIE: Oh, my God, Michael! That's amazing! Oh! Oh, my God, I almos... Oh,
my God. I gotta go talk to Donna (she runs outside)


FEZ: Who would know that you would win a battle of wits?


KELSO: Yeah. Turns out that the key to winning Jackie's heart was in the last place I thought to look my own brain.


OUTSIDE THE ICE SHACK


Donna is staring at her feet, Jackie is talking to her


JACKIE: Donna, I think I'm actually feeling something for Michael, you know? Donna, would you please stop looking at your feet and listen to me?


DONNA: A boyfriend is supposed to tell you the things you don't like about yourself are fine. Like last week, I told Eric his pecks were getting bigger. But I mean, come on. If you lie him on his back, you could fill up his chest with water.


JACKIE: Maybe I'm just lonely. Or I need a sign from, like, God. Or, I don't know. Maybe I just need someone to tell me if I'm crazy.


DONNA: Jackie, you're crazy.


JACKIE: Not you, Bigfoot.


FORMAN KITCHEN


Red comes in, Kitty is sulking at the kitchen counter


RED: Hi, honey. How was...Oh, not over yet.


KITTY: No, it's not, Red. Go make Laurie do something with her life (Red laughs) I mean it. Now!


RED: Oh. You know, when a guy comes home from work he just wants to sit down and have a nice quiet beer.


KITTY: Well, she drank your beer because she doesn't have a future.


RED: Fine, Kitty. I'm going!


He walks into the living room


RED: Okay, honey. First of all always save one beer for Daddy.


LAURIE: Okay.


RED: Second of all we feel that you need to get some direction in your life. And by "we," I mean your mother. See, honey. I'm not really worried. 'Cause I know you're gonna find a nice guy and get married.


LAURIE: Exactly.


RED: Right. Someone who can take care of you, who's rich, who's... not Kelso. And I think this is a plan that might just work out for you.


LAURIE: Okay. But, Daddy, I mean, if I wanted to have a career of my own, I
could, right?


RED: Well, sure....I just don't want you to set yourself up for...Like what happened at the college...lf you set the bar too high, the fall might be...You see, you're just...so pretty. Here's five dollars (he leaves)


THE CAR


Leo and Hyde are pulled over by a cop


COP: Good evening, gentlemen.


LEO: Is there a problem, "ossifer?"


COP: Did you just say "ossifer?"


HYDE: Uh, no sir, I'm sorry. I distinctly heard him say officer, sir.


COP: Uh-huh. I pulled you over because your left brake light is out. I'm gonna have to write you up a warning.


LEO: Close one, man. I thought for sure he was gonna ask what's in the bag.


COP: I'm still right here.


LEO: Uh-oh (he gives the bag to the cop)


COP: Dog food?


HYDE: We were framed! I mean...pffrrt...Of course it's dog food. What'd you think it was? Illegal drugs?


COP: All right, weirdo’s. Drive safe.


HYDE (to Leo): Dog food?


LEO: Yeah. I mean...Oh, wait, man. If the dog food's in this bag, then
where's....Oh, wow. I gotta check on my dog, man!


ICE SHACK


Jackie walks in, Kelso gets up


KELSO: Jackie, l-


JACKIE: Don't speak, Michael. I am very close to letting myself experience strong
feelings of not hating you. I just need a sign.


KELSO: I brought the lotion.


JACKIE: No, okay. I want you to guess a number between one and ten.


KELSO: Seven.


JACKIE: Guess again.


KELSO: Three.


JACKIE: Close enough. Let's go.


FEZ: Jackie, if you go out that door with him whatever we might have had between us is over forever (she leaves without hesitating)


FORMAN KITCHEN


Red and Kitty are reading, Laurie comes in


LAURIE: Look! The reason I haven't done anything with my life is because I didn't know what I wanted to do.


KITTY: Well, the post office has a dental plan that's supposed...


LAURIE: Shh! But, Daddy, you forced me to sit down and think about it and now, I have found my passion! Hair!


KITTY: The musical?


LAURIE: No! Hair! I'm going to beauty school!


KITTY: This isn't something you do through the mail, is it?


LAURIE: No! It's a real school.


KITTY: Oh, well, yaayyy! Ahahaha!


RED: Congratulations, sweetheart (Laurie leaves) So, Kitty, what do you think?


KITTY: Eh.


RED: Yeah.


ICE SHACK


Eric looks at the van shaking


ERIC: Well, looks like Jackie and Kelso are back together.


Inside the van, Kelso is doing a victory dance which makes the van shake...


KELSO: I won and Fez lost I won and Fez lost


A cracking sound, Kelso and Jackie jump out the van


ERIC: You guys, what happened?


KELSO: I don't know. All of a sudden the van just started shakin'.


DONNA: Uh, guys.


The van is slowly sinking through the ice


KELSO: Quick! Everyone give me your belts. Together we can pull it out.


The van sinks deeper and the gang move aside


KELSO: Come on! Gi-


JACKIE: Michael, this is it! This is the sign I was looking for! God doesn't want us
to be together!


KELSO: Who cares? I'm losing my van!


JACKIE: See? That was always the problem with us, Michael. It was always about
you.


KELSO: Jackie, are you losing your van?


JACKIE: No!


KELSO: Then shut up!


DONNA: Wow, watching Kelso's van sink makes the size of my feet seem unimportant.


ERIC: See, Donna? Size doesn't matter.


DONNA: Oh, you don't have to tell me.


ERIC: That's-Yeah. That's..There's my sweet girl.


JACKIE: Fez, I'm cold.


FEZ: Frankly my dear...I don't give a rat's ass (he goes inside)


END CREDITS

LEO: Dr. Zhivago, I'm home! I brought your food.!


[Fanfare]


[Barking]


[Barking Continues]


THE END

Ecrit par orelye 
Activité récente
Actualités
Sorties de Topher

Sorties de Topher
Topher Grace a assisté au gala anniversaire de "Art of Elysium" le 7 janvier puis le lendemain, il...

"Happy New Year"
Ce soir à 20h55 sur HD1, vous pourrez retrouver Ashton Kutcher dans le film "Happy New Year". Il...

Carnet Rose

Carnet Rose
Mila Kunis et Ashton Kutcher sont parents pour la seconde fois. En effet, le petit Dimitri a pointé...

"Sexe entre amis"
Ce soir à 23h00 sur TF1, vous pourrez retrouver Mila Kunis dans le film "Sexe entre amis". Elle...

Sortie AS : Katey Sagal

Sortie AS : Katey Sagal
Le 14 Novembre 2016, Katey Sagal a assisté au The Open Road with Men's Fitness host the premiere of...

Newsletter

Les nouveautés des séries et de notre site une fois par mois dans ta boîte mail ?

Inscris-toi maintenant

Sondage
Partenaires premium
HypnoChat

leptitange (22:07)

je ne sais pas, une fois j'ai zappé sur gulli y avais une série avec l'accent québécois

CastleBeck (22:07)

Ah, merci à vous deux

CastleBeck (22:07)

Me voilà rassurée

CastleBeck (22:12)

Sinon, si vous aimez les séries pour ados, il y a LE chalet qui arrive dimanche sur France 4... en version doublée...

Sonmi451 (22:16)

ça me dit rien moi ses parents

CastleBeck (22:17)

Les Parent, il y a une fiche et il me semble y avoir ajouté des vidéos récemment

CastleBeck (22:18)

Oups, mon client arrive!

Je file

Bonne fin de soirée / bonne nuit

Sonmi451 (22:18)

faudra que je jette un oeil

serieserie (22:54)

RIP Miguel Ferrer

Titepau04 (22:54)

Quoiiiiii ????

serieserie (22:55)

Ouais... cancer il est décédé aujourd'hui ca vient d'être annoncé...

Sonmi451 (22:55)

Quoi???

Sonmi451 (22:55)

oooohhhhhhhhh!

serieserie (22:57)

Titepau04 (22:57)

Mais non..... on va faire quoi sans lui???!

Margauxd (22:57)

Promis Serieserie, la prochaine fois je t'annonce une bonne nouvelle.
RIP Miguel Ferrer

serieserie (22:58)

Je m'y attendais pas...

Titepau04 (22:59)

Moi non plus.... je savais même pas qu'il était malade

serieserie (22:59)

Je crois que personne ne le savait ou presque...

serieserie (23:00)

Il aura tourné dans NCIS LA jusqu'à la fin... (sans spoiler ça explique des choses...)

Sonmi451 (23:02)

61 ans!

serieserie (23:04)

Oui...

Sonmi451 (23:07)

moi je le connais surtout via preuve à l'appuie

Sonmi451 (23:07)

mais bon, il a toujours été avec nous

Sonmi451 (23:07)

dans de nombreuses séries

Titepau04 (23:07)

Je suis en retard sur la 8 de ncisla

Titepau04 (23:08)

J'ai l'impression qu'il a toujours fait parti de ma voe

Titepau04 (23:08)

Vie*

Sonmi451 (23:09)

ben oui 30 ans de carrière

serieserie (23:09)

Ouais non mais la meme je sais pas il avait une présence à l'écran un charisme qui fait que tout le monde le connaît et s'en souviens

Sonmi451 (09:47)

Passez dans préférence pour voter aux différents thèmes, merci.

Spyfafa (16:31)

À chaque jour, son design. Nouveau design sur Grey's Anatomy, Dexter et 24 !

serieserie (16:47)

Une petite semaine avant l'HypnoGame Grey's Anatomy!! N'oubliez pas de vous inscrire avant la date limite!!

sabby (18:50)

Les trailers de vos séries préférées et des nouveautés qui seront diffusés en janvier, sont arrivés sur la chaine youtube de la citadelle. Bon visionnage

Xanaphia (19:20)

Venez donc commenter les calendriers de janviers de The Blacklist, Musketeers, Merlin, essayer de deviner qui se cache dernière l'hypnolisté (Blacklist) et voter pour le sondage de The Blacklist Merci et bonne soirée !

elyxir (17:31)

Bonjour ! Rendez-vous sur le quartier The Glades où je vous attends avec impatience pour le Focus Sur Beaucoup de choses sont à faire sur le quartier !

serieserie (18:10)

Nouvelle animation sur Lucifer! Serrez vous plutôt ou plutôt ??

carina123 (18:46)

Nouveaux calendrier et sondage sur le quartier, venez nombreux !

Titepau04 (18:54)

Carina, sur quel quartier???

Phoebus (20:38)

Bonsoir, Nouveau sondage sur les quartier de Homeland (sondage ne spoilant rien de la série donc ouvert pour tous) et de Sense8. Nous vous attendons nombreux

kystis (07:02)

Bonjour, nouveau sondage sur Dawson, tout le monde peut y participer !!

serieserie (10:22)

Venez participer à la nouvelle animation de Lucifer: pas besoin de connaître la série mais fou rire garanti

Titepau04 (10:50)

Si vous voulez passer des soirées de folies, venez vous inscrire aux hypnogames !!! Grey's Anatomy et NCIS Los Angeles!!!

carina123 (14:51)

Calendriers et Sondages sur les quartiers Jéricho et Lie to Me, venez nombreux !!

sabby (19:11)

Lucifer et Gotham sont de retour ce soir ! Leur vidéo promo ont été ajouté à la chaine youtube de la citadelle Bon visionnage !

Margauxd (21:14)

Bonjour à tous !
Quiz sur la première saison de Blindspot sur le quartier.
Venez sauvez la terre sur The Last Ship d'un virus mortel.
Les premiers Awards de New York Unité Spéciale sont sur le quartier.
N'hésitez pas à participer ou à voter

emeline53 (21:41)

Pas encore de participant pour les différentes animations de la St Valentin sur The Fosters ! Des intéressés ?

Sonmi451 (10:03)

Merci de voter les thèmes dans préférence histoire qu'on avance un peu. ^^

natas (18:44)

Bonjour à tous, Sur Grimm nouveau sondage sur les premiers épisode de la saison 6 ! (avec spoilers) venez voter et commenter si vous avez vu les épisodes !!

leila36 (21:00)

Venez voter dans les préférences svp !

Sevnol (12:21)

Nouveau sondage sur le quartier de CSI NY ! N'hésitez pas à venir voter Merci d'avance

emeline53 (12:53)

Un nouveau sondage est en ligne sur UnReal !

Chaudon (15:05)

Si vous n'avez pas encore vu le nouveau calendrier du quartier "Elementary" ainsi que son design, n'hésitez pas à venir donner votre avis !

Profilage (15:51)

Le quartier Esprits Criminels vous propose un nouveau sondage, un petit vote serait bien sympathique, merci !

Locksley (17:10)

La NL du quartier 24 reprend du service et sera envoyée dans les 24h chrono. Pensez à vous abonner si vous voulez la recevoir !

elyxir (19:04)

Je vous attend avec impatience sur the glades pour participer au focus ! Allez hop on s'inscrit pour participer !!

cinto (19:48)

Si vous connaissez Brian Kinney (Queer As folk), n'hésitez pas à la soutenir dans le sondage "Bad Boys" chez Dr House. Et son titre ne serait pas usurpé...mais quel charme!

serieserie (13:29)

Si des personnes veulent s'inscrire pour l'HypnoGame de Grey's Anatomy qui aura lieu CE SAMEDI c'est le dernier moment dès demain matin ça sera trop tard!!!

Profilage (18:39)

Nouveau sondage sur Esprits Criminels, un petit vote ? Merci !

cinto (22:54)

Demain, 20 Janvier, dernier jour pour poster vos cartes de voeux 2017 pour la quartier Ma sorcière Bien Aimée. Gros merci à celles qui ont participé.

Rejoins-nous !

Ou utilise nos Apps :

Disponible sur Google Play