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305 : Script VO

Ce script VO a été migré dans le guide de l'épisode.

FORMAN BASEMENT


The gang are watching Batman


FEZ: Oh, don't put Batman in the clam of death, Riddler. That's just gonna make him mad. God, you're stupid.


ERIC: Fez, for the last time, the Riddler can't hear you.


FEZ: Riddle me this, Riddler. When Batman escapes from the clam of death...who will kick your riddle-telling ass in?


ERIC: Hey, Fez. Riddle me this (he hits him on his arm)


FEZ: Then riddle me this (he wets his finger and puts it in Eric's ear)


ERIC: Oh, but, Fez, only if you riddle me this (he piches Fez' nipple)


FEZ: Ow! Riddle me this, you son of a bitch! (he jumps on Eric)


JACKIE (storming in): Oh, my God! Guess what!


ERIC (dramatic): Stop! Fez! This could be important! (he slaps him in the face)


JACKIE: You guys, the Roller Disco Doo-dah is coming to Kenosha next Friday!


HYDE: Oh, my God! Guess what! [Raspberry]


JACKIE: See, now, that's the kind of thing the judges really frown upon during
competition, Steven.


HYDE: Excuse me?


JACKIE: We're gonna be partners! (he gives her a blank look) Skating partners.


HYDE: Hey, how about instead, you hit me in the face with a wrench, and I black out?


JACKIE: Steven... this is not just a last chance at roller disco. It's a last chance at love...our love. Now, will you or will you not skate with me?


HYDE: I would, Jackie...but seeing you there in your cute little skating outfit...with all your tassels and sequins...I might be tempted to...push you down a flight of stairs (he leaves)


KELSO: All right. Jackie, what do you say...you and me, roller disco? I mean, we used to have some good moves, you know, like, when we did it...so it would be like that...except for with lights and skates.

JACKIE: Okay. Um, first of all, you make me sick. Okay? Second, you're lame, and you make me sick. Third, you make me sick, and any one of these guys would be a better partner than you, even Fez.


FEZ: Really? Then I am in.


JACKIE: Um, no, I didn't really mean it, Fez.


FEZ: Oh, then I am out. Damn it. Let me in.


OPENING CREDITS


FORMAN BASEMENT


The gang are watching TV


FEZ: So, who wil lJackie choose as her roller disco partner? Who, who, who?

Jackie looks at Hyde


HYDE: No freakin' way.


FEZ: Hmm, how very sad. No one to disco with. Now, where did I leave my potato chips? Oh, there they are (he makes a dance-move) Look at that. I left my soda back in the other side of the room! (he makes some more moves) Refreshing. God, my arm is sore! (disco move)


JACKIE: Wow, Fez!


KELSO: Oh, come on, Jackie! You're gonna pick him over me? All right. Watch this (he starts to make some moves but falls to the floor)


FEZ: Jackie, I'm just a roller disco machine... and I don't work for nobody but you.


Kelso groans from behind the couch


JACKIE: Okay. Okay, fine. We'll be partners. But hear me now. I want first prize. If I lose and some stupid, spoiled rich girl wins...I'll scream.


KELSO (from behind the couch): I am really hurt!


FORMAN KITCHEN


Kitty is making cupcakes. Eric comes in


KITTY: Hi, sweetie. How was work?


ERIC: Oh, pretty good...except for the fact that Dad's getting sued for firing a Price Mart employee.


KITTY: Okay. Well, good. Have a cupcake.


ERIC: Mom, did you hear what I said?


KITTY: Uh-huh, and it's just so very unpleasant, I'm ignoring it. So, have a cupcake.


ERIC: Earl is suing Dad for wrongful termination.


KITTY: Earl? He didn't do his job. He was always late. He was a complete dumb-ass...person.


ERIC: Mom, you said "ass."


KITTY: Well, now so did you. Give me back the cupcake, foul mouth. I can't even imagine the mood your father's in.


ERIC: Actually, he doesn't know yet. I got the news after he left. God, Dad is gonna freak. I don't know how we're gonna tell him.


RED: Tell me what?


ERIC: That, uh...Mom said the "ass" word.


KITTY: Well, now...actually, um... Red...umm...


ERIC: You know, Mom, I got this one. Okay, uh, everyone here who's not being sued by Earl for wrongful termination...raise their hand (Kitty and Eric raise their hand)


FORMAN BASEMENT


Donna is reading, Kelso is pacing around


KELSO: I don't get Jackie, man. I mean, picking Fez over me? Me? I have the three things that women want. I'm-I'm hot, and I'm smart.


DONNA: That's two things, moron.


KELSO: No, it's three. I count hot twice. I mean, come on.


DONNA: Kelso, who cares? It's a stupid roller disco thing.


KELSO: Yeah, I guess you're right. It's silly for me to be jealous. You're a good friend, Donna.


DONNA: Yeah. 'Cause when you think about it, I mean, what does Fez have going for him... except an incredibly sexy accent and an extremely hot body?


KELSO: Okay. Now you're being a bad friend, Donna.


DONNA: I mean, come to think of it, if Fez helps Jackie win a roller disco... she might rip his clothes off and have sex with him right there on the rink. That's how hot he is.


KELSO: Bad friend, Donna! Bad!


FORMAN LIVING ROOM


Kitty and Eric are on the couch, Red is reading the complaint


RED: Oh, look at this guy's complaint. "Red Forman was habitually ill-tempered." Am I ill-tempered?


ERIC: No, sir. You're like Mary Poppins.


KITTY: Okay, honey. Well, it says here you have to go to the labor board. You
know what, Red Forman, you have to go in there and defend yourself.


RED: Oh, I'll defend myself. I'll go in there, and I'll tell those morons... that they're wasting my time with this stupid crap!


KITTY: Or...you could control your temper.


ERIC: No offense, Mom, but what's plan "B"?


RED: Hey, shut it, pal.


KITTY: Okay, now, see, that's the kind of thing that's gonna get you in trouble. Now, when...when I get really angry, I just...I laugh it off... like this. Ahahaha!
See?


RED: Oh, geez, Kitty. That'll never work. That's dumb.


KITTY: Ahahahaha!


ROLLER DISCO


A pair have just finished their routine. Donna and Kelso are in the audience


DONNA: Oh, my God. I think Jackie and Fez are next. Look! There they are!


KELSO: Hey! The next contestants are cheaters. The brown guy is a robot.


DONNA: Robot? Shut up.


MAN ON P.A.: Ladies and gentleman...welcome to the rink our last contestants of the evening-from Point Place, Wisconsin, Jackie Burkhart and, uh...Jackie Burkhart's Partner.!


KELSO: Boo!


Jackie and Fez start their routine


DONNA: This is so cool. Oh, my God. They're amazing!


KELSO: Oh, did you see that? Fez just tripped.


DONNA: No, he didn't.


KELSO: The foreign guy tripped. That's a deduction right there. You're gonna lose!


DONNA: Kelso, shut up.


KELSO: That's it. They're doing too well (he grunts and pulls something from his pants)


DONNA: What the hell is that?


KELSO: It's my secret weapon.


DONNA: A marble?


KELSO: Yep. I'm gonna chuck it out there so they trip.


DONNA: You moron, it's one marble. Give me that. Give me that (she wrestles him for it)


KELSO: No! No!


They wrestle more, and then Kelso swallows the marble. Jackie and Fez end their routine


KELSO: Boo! Boo! Boo!


CROWD: Whoo!


KELSO: Oh, no. They were good. I swallowed my marble.


Jackie and Fez join them to wait for their scores


KELSO: Boo!


DONNA: Oh, my God. You guys were so great.


JACKIE: I know. I know. And even when I almost tripped, my natural grace totally
saved us.


KELSO: Well, I saw plenty of mistakes out there, especially from Fez.


FEZ: Shut your hole. Here come the scores.


[Drumroll]


MAN ON P.A.: And the winner of Kenosha's Annual Roller Disco Doo-dah is...Jackie Burkhart and...


DONNA&JACKIE: Oh, my God! (Jackie hugs Fez)


MAN ON P.A.: Friend.


KELSO: Fix! Fix!


JACKIE: I can't believe it! I'm so sorry I doubted you. You...You are my
hero...My...my hunky, sexy, foreign skating hero!


FEZ: And you are my...my spoiled, whiny skating princess.


JACKIE: Oh, Fez, thank you! (A man hands them champagne) Yaaaay, champagne! Yaaay!


KELSO: Yaaaay! Yaaay! (he rubs Jackies back)


JACKIE: Get off me. Kelso, you booed us the entire time. What? No! That was some rude guy. So I popped him one, and then I was goin', "Ooh," because I hurt my hand when I popped the rude guy. So... you're welcome. You wanna kiss it?


JACKIE: Let's go, Fez (they leave)


DONNA: Hmm. Come on, Kelso. Look at the bright side.


KELSO: What's the bright side?


DONNA: The bright side is there isn't one. Fez has Jackie, and you have to squeeze out that marble.


PRICE MART CANTEEN


Eric and Red are at one end of a tale, a mediator is on the other end


MEDIATOR: Now, Mr. Forman, at any point did you ever berate Earl Arthur... by
calling him any of the following names: Candy-ass... dumb-ass, lazy-ass- Uh, it- it just goes on like that.


RED: Well, that sounds like just good-natured ribbin' to me.


MEDIATOR: Doesn't sound that way to me.


RED: Hehehehe. Are you callin' me a liar? 'Cause it's funny if ya are. Well, you know, Eric worked with him too. Eric, tell him about Earl.


MEDIATOR: Actually, I'd be more interested in hearing what Eric thinks about working with you. Eric?


ERIC: No. No, no, no, no. I'm-I'm here...just to answer questions about Earl- old, dumb Earl. So, you know, you fire away with the Earl questions.


MEDIATOR: I think we know all we need to know about Earl.


ERIC: Oh, then good. I'll just step out then. Good. This was good.


MEDIATOR: No, no, no, no. Eric, just a few more questions. Is your father ever unnecessarily angry?


ERIC:  Unnecessarily angry. Well....ahem....you know, what does "unnecessarily" mean really? I mean, my sister likes to put salt on roast beef... but I think it's unnecessary. I mean, why cover up the flavor of such a delicious meat?


RED: Just answer the question, dumb-ass! I mean...hehehehe...Good work, Son.


VISTA CRUISER


Jackie (drunk) and Fez are sitting in the car


JACKIE: Oh, my God. I love champagne!


FEZ: Yes. Was it any good?


JACKIE: Great. Just great. Hey, Fez, I just made up a poem. Do you want to hear it?


FEZ: Okay.


JACKIE: There once was a guy named Fez...who had a really cute butt. Ta-da!


FEZ: Well, I have to say I don't hate it.


JACKIE: Hey- Psst...Fezzie...do you want to know a secret? If you try to kiss me right now... I probably wouldn't stop you [Giggles] In fact... I'd probably let you do more than that.


A little Batman appears on Fez' shoulder


BATMAN: Fez...


FEZ: Huh!


BATMAN: Good God, man. Don't do it. She is drunk.


FEZ: But, Batman, she is so hot.


BATMAN: But she's drunk. There is no honor in this.


A little Riddler appears on his other shoulder


RIDDLER: Ah, screw honor. Take her pants off.


FEZ: Ay!


BATMAN: Riddler, nefarious fiend. Don't do it, Fez. It's a trap.


RIDDLER: Riddle me this, Fez. Why would Jackie ask you to make out with her if
she didn't want you to?


FEZ: Seriously, he makes an excellent point.


BATMAN: It's the dastardly alcohol talking. If you and Jackie get together, you want it to be real, not like this.


FEZ: Honestly, I was rooting for you... but imaginary Batman makes a lot of sense.


RIDDLER: Then riddle me this. What does Batman know about girls? Slides down a pole and lives with a teenage boy. Enough said.


FEZ: Okay. Now I have to say, advantage Riddler.


BATMAN: What are you trying to say, Riddler?


RIDDLER: I think you know what I'm trying to say. Ooh-la-la.


BATMAN: Oh, you want to go, question dork?


RIDDLER: Oh, bring it on, bat-wuss.


They jump back into Fez' head through his ears and start to fight


JACKIE: So...are you gonna kiss me, Fez?


FEZ: No, I am sorry, Jackie.


JACKIE: That's okay. You still have a very cute butt (they hug)


ROLLER DISCO


Donna and Kelso are the only ones left


DONNA: Come on, Kelso. So Jackie likes Fez. Big deal. You're going out with Laurie.


KELSO: I know. It's just, you know... seeing her with another guy just made me remember all the good times we had together... and it just made me sad.


DONNA: Yeah. Come here (she puts her arm around him) You know, Kelso... I guess underneath it all you're kind of a good guy. Sometimes. Sort of. Things'll work themselves out


KELSO: Yeah, I know (he tries to kiss her)


DONNA: What the hell are you doing?


KELSO: We can't fight these feelings anymore, Donna.


DONNA: What?


KELSO: What? We've been doing this dance all night... and, oh, God, I'm tired of dancing.


DONNA: You moron! (she hits him and walks off)


KELSO: Nobody likes a tease, Donna! I'm sorry. You're not a tease. Come back. Tease! I'm sorry. Donna!


PRICE MART CANTEEN


Eric and Red are at one end of a tale, a mediator is on the other end


ERIC: I guess "violent" is the wrong word... but, you know, it's definitely some kind of rage. Although, I mean, you know, Earl had it coming. I love you, Daddy.


Earl comes in panting


EARL: Oh, hey. Sorry I'm late.


MEDIATOR: Hour and 10 minutes late. I can only assume you're Earl.


EARL: Yeah. So, um, sorry. My, uh, dog got hit by a...a guy in a....


RED: Car?


EARL: Thanks, Red. So, what'd I miss?


MEDIATOR: You missed everything. Okay. I'm not gonna lie. Mr. Forman, you...you scare the living hell out of me. No offense.


RED: None taken.


ERIC: That's kind of his thing.


MEDIATOR: But, Earl, in light of your failure to show up for your own hearing... we have no choice but to rule in favor of Mr. Forman.


RED: Yes, sir!


ERIC: Way to go, Dad!


EARL: Damn... dog.


MEDIATOR: And Mr. Forman, even though this hearing did go your way today...in light of some of your son's responses... I would strongly encourage you to go to anger management classes.


RED: Sure, I'll...I'll do that (Earl and the mediator leave)


ERIC: Neat! Anger management. That sounds like it could be kind of fun, right? We...We won. Hey! You and me...We're such a good team. Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah. We did it. How about us, huh? Stickin' it to the man.


RED: I'll see you at home (he leaves)


ERIC: Wait. But, Dad, we...we drove here together! (he runs after him)


FORMAN BASEMENT


Hyde, Fez and Kelso are talking


FEZ: Then she fell asleep, and I stroke her hair.


HYDE: You did the right thing, Fez, but a word of advice. Next time you tell the story, ya nailed her.


KELSO: Yeah, but, you know, it's better you didn't... 'cause scammin' on another guy's woman- That's totally breaking the code.


ERIC (storming in): Donna told me what you did, you dill-hole! (he pushes Kelso onto the couch)


KELSO: No, she's lying! Oh! That's my nipple!


Hyde and Fez join Eric in beating up Kelso


END CREDITS


FORMAN BASEMENT


Jackie is sitting on the couch reading, Fez comes in (drunk)


FEZ: Hello...buttercup.


JACKIE: Fez, you're drunk.


FEZ: Madam, I may be drunk, but you should have sex with me.


JACKIE: That's crazy.


FEZ: But you have to, because last night...I made a big mistake.


JACKIE: I don't even remember last night.


FEZ (falling to the floor): Ay!
 

THE END

Ecrit par orelye 
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CastleBeck (13:35)

Oui... j'essaie de me réveiller devant ma télé

serieserie (13:39)

ah bon réveil alors

CastleBeck (13:39)

Merci, mais ça peut être long.

Sonmi451 (13:47)

salut!

CastleBeck (13:47)

Bonjour!
Comment ça va?

serieserie (13:48)

Salut sonmi!

Sonmi451 (13:48)

Ca va et toi alors ça y est tu es réveillée?

CastleBeck (13:50)

Nah, pas encore... Il doit manquer d'action pour bien me réveiller dans ma série. La prochaine aidera

Sonmi451 (14:03)

tu vois si tu partais dehors 30 secondes, je suis sure que ça te réveillerais ^^

CastleBeck (14:08)

Je crois que je préfère prendre mon temps...

CastleBeck (14:12)

Ça fait étrange de regarder un épisode de série après avoir vu le bêtisier de celui-ci...

Sonmi451 (14:13)

Ha oui jamais fait ça

CastleBeck (14:19)

Tu fais bien...

serieserie (14:26)

Oui non Castlebeck c'est une mauvaise idée

CastleBeck (14:36)

Bof, quant à regarder dans le désordre, il fallait pousser jusqu'au bout.

Sonmi451 (14:45)

bêtisier inclus ^^

Sonmi451 (14:45)

tu as raison quand on commence les choses faut y aller jusqu'au bout ^^

Sonmi451 (14:49)

bon je vais aller réveiller mon grand sinon ce soir il va pas dormir ^^

Sonmi451 (14:49)

A toute à l'heure.

CastleBeck (14:57)

À plus tard

CastleBeck (15:45)

C'est pas la musique d'appel en attente qui va m'aider à me réveiller...

serieserie (15:46)

ah oui les petites musiques bien... soporifique ^^

CastleBeck (15:47)

Ils veulent être certains qu'on raccroche.

serieserie (15:48)

oui ^^

CastleBeck (16:02)

Plus de 30 minutes, mais ils ont répondu... pffff.... et le monsieur était bête.

serieserie (16:03)

c'est toujours le cas

CastleBeck (16:05)

Sinon, 120$/h pour faire réparer mon lave-vaisselle, ce qui n'inclut pas les frais de déplacement (130$) et les pièces... J'aurais du lui charger, moi, le 120$ de l'heure pour le temps d'attente!

serieserie (16:05)

j'avoue

CastleBeck (13:40)

Bonjour

Titepau04 (14:40)

Bonjour!!

carina123 (18:46)

Nouveaux calendrier et sondage sur le quartier, venez nombreux !

Titepau04 (18:54)

Carina, sur quel quartier???

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Bonsoir, Nouveau sondage sur les quartier de Homeland (sondage ne spoilant rien de la série donc ouvert pour tous) et de Sense8. Nous vous attendons nombreux

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Bonjour, nouveau sondage sur Dawson, tout le monde peut y participer !!

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Venez participer à la nouvelle animation de Lucifer: pas besoin de connaître la série mais fou rire garanti

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Si vous voulez passer des soirées de folies, venez vous inscrire aux hypnogames !!! Grey's Anatomy et NCIS Los Angeles!!!

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Calendriers et Sondages sur les quartiers Jéricho et Lie to Me, venez nombreux !!

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Lucifer et Gotham sont de retour ce soir ! Leur vidéo promo ont été ajouté à la chaine youtube de la citadelle Bon visionnage !

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Bonjour à tous !
Quiz sur la première saison de Blindspot sur le quartier.
Venez sauvez la terre sur The Last Ship d'un virus mortel.
Les premiers Awards de New York Unité Spéciale sont sur le quartier.
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emeline53 (21:41)

Pas encore de participant pour les différentes animations de la St Valentin sur The Fosters ! Des intéressés ?

Sonmi451 (10:03)

Merci de voter les thèmes dans préférence histoire qu'on avance un peu. ^^

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Venez voter dans les préférences svp !

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Nouveau sondage sur le quartier de CSI NY ! N'hésitez pas à venir voter Merci d'avance

emeline53 (12:53)

Un nouveau sondage est en ligne sur UnReal !

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Le quartier Esprits Criminels vous propose un nouveau sondage, un petit vote serait bien sympathique, merci !

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La NL du quartier 24 reprend du service et sera envoyée dans les 24h chrono. Pensez à vous abonner si vous voulez la recevoir !

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cinto (19:48)

Si vous connaissez Brian Kinney (Queer As folk), n'hésitez pas à la soutenir dans le sondage "Bad Boys" chez Dr House. Et son titre ne serait pas usurpé...mais quel charme!

serieserie (13:29)

Si des personnes veulent s'inscrire pour l'HypnoGame de Grey's Anatomy qui aura lieu CE SAMEDI c'est le dernier moment dès demain matin ça sera trop tard!!!

Profilage (18:39)

Nouveau sondage sur Esprits Criminels, un petit vote ? Merci !

cinto (22:54)

Demain, 20 Janvier, dernier jour pour poster vos cartes de voeux 2017 pour la quartier Ma sorcière Bien Aimée. Gros merci à celles qui ont participé.

Sonmi451 (13:48)

Merci de venir voter dans préférence.

CastleBeck (17:52)

Sondage tout neuf sur Orange Is The New Black ... En plus, vous n'avez pas besoin de connaitre la série pour voter!

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Bonsoir à toutes et tous, n'hésitez à passer sur les quartiers ROME et The Tudors, afin de nous aider à redonner vie aux différents forums merci pour votre participation

CastleBeck (14:02)

Nouvelle photo du mois sur OITNB... et nouveau sondage depuis hier.

lachieuse (17:26)

Nouveau design sur le quartier New Girl, par serieserie, n'hésitez pas à venir le commenter

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@serie² : merci pour l'organisation de la soirée HypnoGame ce soir ! Enjoy ! Bonne chance aux équipes !!

serieserie (21:43)

Grande partie d'HypnoGame en cours venez nous rejoindre!!!!

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