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218 : Script VO

Ce script VO a été migré dans le guide de l'épisode.


Kelso and Hyde are sitting on the VistaCruiser

KELSO: Man, where the hell is Eric? I gotta get outta here before Jackie finds me.

HYDE: What did you do now?

KELSO: She’s mad because I didn’t say love you after lunch. I say it all day long, after gym “love you Jackie”, after algebra “love you Jackie”. After I say love you Jackie I say love you Jackie! It sickens me!

HYDE: Hey man, check it out, foggy windows!

KELSO: Bummer, someone must have left their hot lucheon in the car.

HYDE: No you idiot, someone is in there making out man!

Patty comes out of the car

HYDE: Patty!

PATTY: Hyde! Hey, how ya’ doin’ ?

HYDE: Super.

PATTY: Okay, wel I’ll see ya’ (she leaves)

KELSO: Hey didn’t you go out with that girl?

HYDE: I don’t think so.

KELSO: Yeah, that’s the girl that dogged you on that blind date!

HYDE: Kelso, who cares?! Hey let’s see what loser she ended up with.

KELSO: Yeah (Hyde gets up and opens the car door)

FEZ (getting out of the car): Hello.

KELSO: BURN! (Hyde looks at him) Hey man, that’s a burn!



Red and Kitty at the table, Eric walks in

KITTY: Eric honey? I was thinking maybe tomorrow night we could go shopping, just the two of us.

ERIC: Why?

KITTY: Well because we need to get you some new shoes and some underwear.

RED: Kitty, we bought him shoes last year.

ERIC: Yeah, and I can shop for my own underwear.

KITTY: Oh no you cannot. The last time you went you bought them too snug and I want grandchildren.

ERIC: Yeah... Well I have to... Bye! (he leaves)

KITTY: You know, he used to love going shopping with me.

RED: Well Kitty he’s sixteen...

KITTY: Seventeen.

RED: Whatever, the point is when a boy hits that age, they don’t wanna spend time with their mother. And if they do, they’re weird! It’s not a big deal.

KITTY: Well it is a big deal to me Red Forman! It is a big deal!

Red: Okay...

KITTY: Well I just...I just wish sometimes he would want to spend time with me.

RED: Well force him! It doens’t matter what he wants, as long as we’re paying his way, we own him.


Eric and Donna on the couch, Jackie on a chair

ERIC: Fez has a girlfriend? Our little Fez?

JACKIE: You’re kidding! (Donna and Eric look at her) I mean GOOD! That he was so in love with me was getting embarrassing.

ERIC: Riiiight. So anyways, you guys. How do you know when you need new underwear?

DONNA: Uh...if you're need new underwear.

Fez and Patty come in

FEZ: Oh good, people are here. I want you to meet my GIRLFRIEND Patty. This is Eric, Eric this is my GIRLFRIEND, this is Donna, Donna this is my....giiiirlfriend...

DONNA: So you guys are just friends?

FEZ: Nooooo Donna!

DONNA: Fez, I'm kidding! How's it going Patty?

PATTY: Good.

FEZ: I have to be honest with you people, Patty and I were just outside making out, beacuse Patty's my giiiiiirlfriend.

JACKIE (storms in): Hi I'm Jackie, I'm sure Fez has told all about me!

PATTY: Uhm no, no your name never came up.

JACKIE: What?! Well...whatever.

FEZ: Okay, isn't this pleasant. Patty have a seat.

JACKIE (to Fez): Fez, she's lovely, I'm impressed.

FEZ: Uhm Jackie, I'm really to busy right now, okay thank you (he hugs Patty)


Red, Hyde, Kitty and Eric are having dinner

ERIC: So Hyde, what is with Fez and that girl? Did you really go out with her?

HYDE: Yeah, no biggie. She sucked anyway, he can have her.

KITTY: So Fez has a girlfriend?

ERIC: Still, what's that about Fez snagging a girl away from you, I never thought I'd see the day.

KITTY: So what's she like?

ERIC: It's just so twilightzone, I mean, to see Fez and...

RED: Eric! Your mother asked you a question about the foreign kid.

ERIC: What? Oh.

KITTY: Never mind.

RED: Okay, that's it. Eric, you're gonna spend some time with your mother.

ERIC: What did I do?!

KITTY: Red! Don't make it sound like a punishment!

RED: Well it is!


RED: You can look at it any way you want, but it's gonna happen dammit!

ERIC: Wait, wait, is this because I didn't want to go shopping with mom?

HYDE: You don't wanna go shopping with your mom?! Boy, I tell ya, if I had a mom, I would go shopping with her every single day, because no one loves you like your mom.

KITTY: That's true...Eric honey, we don't have to go shopping. We could go see a movie. It'll be like a little date.

ERIC: No no no! Shopping's great! You know I uh need new underwear so...

HYDE: I think a date is a great idea. Hey, you guys should go see Annie Hall, I think you'll just love it Mrs. Forman.

RED: See, Stephen's helping out.

ERIC: Thank you Stephen.

KITTY: Now Annie Hall, I would like to see that movie.

RED: Oh Eric's just dying to see that movie.

ERIC: But...I don't...



Patty and Jackie are talking, Hyde is putting stuff in the dryer.

PATTY: Uhm I guess Fez really got me with all of the poems he left at my locker.

JACKIE: Ohhh that is so romantic!

PATTY: Well doesn't Kelso write you poems?

JACKIE: No. No, but hes not foreign.

HYDE: Hey can we talk about something interesting? Like Donny Osmond?

KELSO: Hey you guys, The Eagles are on Don Caruso's (?) rock concert tonight.

ERIC: Man, I'm gonna miss The Eagles tonight because I got a... I'm busy.

DONNA: Do we have a date tonight?

ERIC: No I wish. I'm going to a movie. With my mom.

HYDE: He's got a special night out with mommy.

KELSO (reading a TV magazine): Hey, maybe you'll get lucky.

They all look at him in disgust, Kelso keeps on reading until he notices them looking

KELSO: And your mom will pay for the movie!! God, you people are sick!

JACKIE: Patty, you know we should really go to the mall together, I can introduce you...

FEZ (interrupting Jackie): Are you ready darling?

JACKIE: Excuse me Fez, I was talking.

FEZ: Oh I know Jackie. You are always talking.


KELSO: BURN! (Jackie turns around and looks very angry) Sorry, I just appreciate a good burn!

ERIC: So, where are you guys going?

FEZ: We are going to the Red Lobster for a romantic dinner of red lobster.

PATTY: See you guys later! (they leave)

JACKIE: Okay, I don't like her. And I don't see why we have to be so nice to her. Just because she is dating someone in our group.

HYDE: Bites the big one doesn't it? Well I gotta go to work.

JACKIE: Am I right Donna? Don't you hate her?

DONNA: Not really Jackie, I kinda like her.

Jackie hits Kelso

KELSO: Hey what was that for?!

JACKIE: That's for not writing me poems Michael! you Jackie...


Hyde and Leo are playing a game of LIFE

HYDE: Leo, did you take your turn yet man?

LEO: No man, I can't decide between 'college' or 'career'.

HYDE: Well we can't start until you decide, so choose man, or I'll start working.

LEO: Hey, don't rush me man, this decision is gonna effect the rest of my life.

HYDE: Go to college.

LEO: Okay. But what if those frat-guys make fun of my hair? And beat me up like, like fascists and stuff.

HYDE: Well then just start a career.

LEO: I can't let those frat-guys get away with it man.

HYDE: Leo man, it's just a game.

LEO: Yeah, Life is hard.


Eric and Kitty are sitting at a table eating pizza.

KITTY: Well now see, I didn't know that you liked green peppers. When did that happen?

ERIC: August 5th, 1972. I mean, I mean do you like green peppers?

KITTY: Why yes I do. Very much. So how is Donna?

ERIC: What?! We haven't done anything yet. What?

KITTY: Relax! I'm not here to grill you about your life Eric. But you know, young adults do have a responsibility...

ERIC: MOM! Please!

They eat in silence for a while

KITTY: Honey, you may not realise it right now, but I'm actually doing you a giant favour by making you spend time with me.

ERIC: Well, thank you.

KITTY: No no no, I mean it. Boys who reject their mothers grow up to have huge problems. You will hate yourself. And every relationship you have with a woman will just be a mess. So, if you don't spend time with me now, you may never have sex. Hahahahaha! I'm teasing! A little.

ERIC: Aha (he looks at his plate) Hey, look how far Florence is from Venice...

KITTY: Eric, honey, I just wanted to spend a little time alone with you outside of the house. That's all.

ERIC: Mom, that's fine. And in fact, you know what, this is great.

A boy walks by

BOY: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyy!! Forman is out on a date! With his mom! Forman and his mom! Forman and his mom!


KITTY (thinking): My goodness, that Woody Allen is neurotic. Well if I lived in New York I'd be in therapy too. The streets are filthy.

ERIC (thinking): WOW, Diane Keaton is NOT wearing a bra. Okay, don't let your mom see you look. But I have to look. I'm looking. I'm looking and I don't care!

KITTY (thinking): Oh please. He expects her to make love while he is wearing those black socks?

ERIC (thinking): Note to self, throw away all black socks.

KITTY (thinking): Mah Jong? What the hell is Mah Jong?

ERIC (thinking): Mah Jong? What the hell is Mah Jong?

They laugh at the same time

KITTY (thinking): Okay, an aspirine the size of a brick. Now that is funny!

ERIC (thinking): Finally, a scene without sex! Oh great...drugs. Thank you Woody Allen.

KITTY (thinking): Huh, I guess cocaine is expensive.

ERIC (thinking): I'm finally getting the feeling back in my jaw. I don't get that, I mean he was just in bed with her and... OH...okay I see. Oh God, I hope my mom doens't get that.

KITTY (thinking): Oh I wonder if Eric gets that. Well, I'm not gonna explain it to him.

They look at each other and smile


Hyde and Leo are still playing, with the aid of some 'green stuff'

HYDE: So now, Patty is seeing Fez, and I just don't get it. She could have had me. I'm a real catch man.

LEO: Allriiiiight! I had twins man! Oh look they're so beautiful!

HYDE: Congratulations.

LEO: Thanks man. Hey I don't want to be competitive or anything man, but I've got two kids and you don't have any. You're just a lonely plummer dude.

HYDE: It wouldn't be so bad, but it's Fez. I taught him everything he knows. It's all backwards man.

LEO: I guess you just can't dwell on things man.

HYDE: Yeah, maybe I shoud just be happy for Fez, I mean, it's the first time in his whole life that he's ever had a girl you know.

LEO:Yeah you know, a while back I picked up a card you know, and I had a car accident. And uh I was dwelling on that man. I'm sorry, what were you talking about?

HYDE: Maybe I should get back to work.

LEO: If you get back to work you're fired man (he spins the wheel and takes a card) Hey I got twins again man!


Jackie and Donna sitting down

JACKIE: Just admit it Donna! Patty is totally wrong for Fez.

DONNA: Well Jackie, I have never seen you quite this transparant before.

JACKIE: What are you talking about?

DONNA: She is so awful Donna, let's hate her forever Donna! Let's shave her head and run around town Donna!

JACKIE: Focus Donna! We're ragging up Patty, remember.

DONNA: Jackie did you ever think that maybe you hate Patty because you like Fez?

JACKIE: Oh you are in dangerous territory Pinciotti!

DONNA: No, I mean, it's true. You hate seeing Fez drool over someone other then you.

JACKIE: You're crazy, I don't like Fez.

DONNA: I think you do.

JACKIE: Oh shut up.

DONNA: Jackie, you're blushing! (Jackie pinches her) Oww!

JACKIE: Look, I'll admit that Fez would be okay for a quick fling if I was off on a vacation with my parents in Michigan or Cuba. Where no-one would ever find out. Ever, ever, ever!!

DONNA: Fez and Jackie sitting in a tree...Mr. and Mrs. Fez. Fez?

JACKIE: Donna, please, please shut up!

DONNA: Jackie you are so totally hot for him I can see it in your eyes.

JACKIE: Oh my God, OH MY GOD! I like Fez! (she runs of) NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!


Kitty is driving, Eric is sitting next to her

KITTY: Well boy, wasn't that fun, seeing all those sex-scenes with your mother.

ERIC: Oh it was super sexy. I'm so glad we could enjoy that together, really I am.

KITTY: So I guess women in New York don't wear bras.

ERIC: It's disgusting. And we should move there immidiately.

KITTY: Well I don't know about you but I've seen enough nipples for one day.

ERIC: Mom!

KITTY: What?

ERIC: I don't ever want to hear you say nipples okay?

KITTY: Why not? Men have nipples. Your father has nipples!

ERIC: NO! He does not! (they both laugh)

KITTY: Okay. So, what was your favourite part of the movie?

ERIC: I don't wanna tell you...

KITTY: Oh come on!

ERIC: Okay, uhm, Diane Keaton's nipples! (they both laugh really loud)


Hyde and Leo are still playing, there are cars honking their horns outside

LEO: Okay, pay me.

HYDE: Leo, I gotta help the customer man, I think he's gonna drive away.

LEO: Let him go, I don't need his stinkin' photo money. I'm a doctor!

HYDE: Okay man, you know what, that's it. This game is over man. This is not life! THIS is life (he points around him).

LEO: Yeah but this life is so much better then this life! In the game, I've got kids man. In real life my kids split on me.

HYDE: Really man?

LEO: Yeah.

HYDE: My parents split on me.

LEO: Oh wow, and now we've found eachother. Hey do you wanna be my father?

HYDE: Sure.

LEO: Okay, go ahead and spin 'dad'! (Hyde puts his arm around Leo and spins the wheel)


Kitty and Eric come in

ERIC: Maybe Mah Jong is a type of food.

KITTY: Oh you know what, you could be right, it's probably Chinese noodles.

ERIC: Yes! (he laughs) Hey, you wanna go see Close Encounter sometime?

KITTY: Yeah I'd love to!

ERIC: Very cool. Goodnight mom (he gives her a kiss on the cheek and walks off)

Kitty starts to cry, Red enters the room

RED: Oh what did he do?! I swear I'll kick his ass!!

KITTY: No he was just...he was absolutely wonderful.

RED: Oh (he sits down next to her) Okay (he hugs her)


Eric and Donna are kissing, dressed up like Woody Allen and Diane Keaton

ERIC/WOODY: Is something wrong?


ERIC/WOODY: I don't know, it's' seem very removed.

DONNA/DIANE: No I'm fine.

ERIC/WOODY: Are you sure?

DONNA/DIANE: Uhuh. (her gost leaves her body and sits in a chair next to the couch)

ERIC/WOODY: You know, maybe it's me, but you do, you seem very removed.

DONNA/DIANE (ghost): Eric have you seen my geometrybook? Cause when you two are doing that I might as well do some homework.

ERIC/WOODY: You see?! This is what I call being removed!

Cut to Donna and Eric in the basement

ERIC: Donna, when we're making out, you're not thinking about like..geometry and stuff are you?

DONNA: Never. Unless I have a test the next day. You know I think you did the sweetest thing in the world to go out with your mom.

ERIC: Thank you.

DONNA: So did Mommy buy you new underpants? (she starts to fondle him)

ERIC: Okay!

DONNA: Let me see the underpants! Let me see it!! (they wrestle)

Ecrit par mad_maria 
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Sonmi451 (23:24)

Haaa ça je sais! lol

CastleBeck (23:25)

Sur ce, moi, il parait que je dois retourner travailler (et pelleter), alors je vous souhaite une excellente fin de soirée et une bonne nuit

stanary (23:26)

Bon courage au travail
Bonne nuit et bonne fin de soirée.

Sonmi451 (23:28)

Travailles-bien !

CastleBeck (23:29)


Sonmi451 (23:35)

Sur ce j'y vais aussi.

Sonmi451 (14:23)

Bonne journée à tous! Et Joyeuse St-Nicolas!

arween (18:40)

Vous êtes nombreux à fêter la Saint Nicolas ?

Xanaphia (19:04)

En tout cas chez moi aussi ça se fête Alors bonne Saint Nicolas

arween (19:05)

Dans le sud, ça ne se fête pas du tout

Xanaphia (19:11)

Et oui c'est plutôt du nord et de l'est de la France +la Belgique, si je ne dis pas de bêtise ^^

arween (19:11)

ouais donc loin de chez moi ^^

Xanaphia (19:12)

vous avez des fêtes spéciales par chez vous ?

arween (19:13)

Non rien du tout

arween (19:13)

Ah attends si on la fête de mai.

arween (19:14)

Mais je crois que c'est juste à Nice

Xanaphia (19:14)

la fête de mai ?

mnoandco (19:14)

Oui, chez moi aussi il y a la Saint Nicolas (Nord Est) ! et le père fouettard...pour les pas me sens évidement pas concernée!

arween (19:15)

Honnêtement je ne sors pas beaucoup là où il y a foule alors je sais pas trop ce qu'ils font

Xanaphia (19:15)

coucou ah oui le folklore local ^^

Lolo1710 (19:27)

Saint Nicolas c'est sacré en Belgique, les primaires font un spectacle chaque année puis les autre c'est surtout pour les bonbons ?

Xanaphia (19:29)

Ou les chocolats et les coquilles

Lolo1710 (19:41)

Ouaip, un truc génial aussi mais c'est peut être que dans mon école, c'est les filles qui font régime et qui troc des bonbons contre des mandarines

Sonmi451 (21:20)

Moi je fais saint-Nicolas car mon homme est du nord-Est mais ma fête à moi arrive jeudi. ^^

Sonmi451 (21:20)

Avec la fête des lumières.

Sonmi451 (21:21)

Bonsoir au fait!

Xanaphia (21:30)

Bonsoir Ah la fête des lumières ça doit être joli ^^

Sonmi451 (21:36)


Sonmi451 (21:37)

Cette année, je vais me contenter de mettre les lampions aux fenêtres.

serieserie (08:40)

Bonne journée de chasse aux cadeaux sur la citadelle!

seriepoi (11:05)

Bonjour tout le monde ! Vous pouvez, si vous le souhaitez, venir sur le quartier "True Blood" pour commenter le (très) beau calendrier de décembre, fait par Sonmi. Merci par avance et bon dimanche à tous.

ObikeFixx (11:25)

Bonjour tout le monde! En plus du nouveau sondage, n'hésitez à venir découvrir le nouveau calendrier et la nouvelle photo du mois sur le quartier "The Last Ship"

Phoebus (14:15)

Bonjour tout le monde ! Il ne vous reste plus qu'une journée pour voter pour la voter de l'épisode 8x05 de The Vampire Diaries et pour participer à la review de cet épisode.

serieserie (16:44)

Inscrivez-vous vite pour la grande partie d'HypnoGame Arrow qui aura lieu dans 6 jours!! Rendez-vous dans les forums de l'accueil!!

arween (18:46)

Venez voir les nouveaux calendriers de The Night Shift (serie²) et Dollhouse (Xana).

emeline53 (19:24)

Seulement 2 persones pour commenter le design Noël de The Fosters ? Venez donner votre avis en plus, un sondage sur votre souhait de cadeau est en ligne !

stella (19:25)

Special spécial Noel sur le quartier Downton Abbey et sans oublier son calendrier de l'avent original

DGreyMan (22:40)

Bonsoir. Sondage dédié à "Game of Thrones" dans le quartier "Harry Potter"...

DGreyMan (22:40)

... ou le contraire ! ^^

serieserie (09:07)

Plus que quelques jours pour vous inscrire à la grande soirée HypnoGame Arrow dans les forums de l'accueil ou par MP!!!

arween (09:44)

Bonjour à tous ! Aujourd'hui nous lançons une toute nouvelle rubrique, les reviews. Rendez-vous sur la page HypnoReview ou à l'accueil pour plus d'infos Bonne lecture et bonne journée !

Titepau04 (09:49)

Bonjour !!!! Venez vous inscrire aux concours de Noël dans les quartiers de ncis Los Angeles et s club 7!!!
Et n'hésitez pas à commenter les calendriers au passage!!

cinto (11:39)

Fans de Dallas, Friends, Petite maison , Mission impossible, venez défendre votre série préférée chez Ma sorcière bien aimée: sondage "génériques"!

grims (16:47)

Coucou à tous ! une petite visite sur les quartiers Sons of anarchy, Outlander et Vikings serait sympa de jolis calendriers de Noël vous y attendent : ) merci d'avance pour votre passage

choup37 (17:13)

Calendriers aussi chez Kaamelott, Merlin, Doctor Who, Torchwood et Musketeers

choup37 (17:14)

(c'est super ces deux onglets pour alterner entre blabla et promo)

stella (19:34)

Case 5 du calendrier de l'avent de Downton Abbey vient d'être dévoilée.

Titepau04 (22:11)

Bonjour !!!! Venez vous inscrire aux concours de Noël dans les quartiers de ncis Los Angeles et s club 7!!!
Et n'hésitez pas à commenter les calendriers au passage!!
Et profitez-en pour voter sur le sondage ncisla!!!!

mnoandco (09:56)

Coucou! Le quartier Blacklist propose 3 calendriers totalement différents et de circonstances pour ce mois de décembre. N'hésitez pas à venir les commenter.

sabby (10:19)

Hello la citadelle !! Le quartier Friday Night Lights aurait bien besoin de visites. Personnes pour voter au sondage ni commenter le nouveau design. Venez jouer au ballon avec moi, je m’ennuie un peu tout seule là_bas

serieserie (10:19)

Allez allez, on s'inscrit pour l'HypnoGame Arrow!!

mamynicky (10:27)

'Jour les 'tits loups Un calendrier de l'Avent gourmand sur Downton Abbey et un autre musical sur Empire. Si vous êtes en retard, vous pouvez le rattraper et n'oubliez pas de les commenter. Merci

Titepau04 (10:34)

Bonjour !!!! Venez vous inscrire aux concours de Noël dans les quartiers de ncis Los Angeles et s club 7!!!
Et n'hésitez pas à commenter les calendriers au passage!!
Et profitez-en pour voter sur le sondage ncisla!!!!

arween (13:12)

Bonjour à tous ! Une grande animation vous attends sur The Night Shift ainsi que le calendrier et le sondage. Et sur Dollhouse, il y a un nouveau calendrier qui ne demande qu'à être commenté

roro73 (15:22)

Bonjour Nouveau sondage et nouvelles PDM sur Wildfire. Venez nous voir, on s'ennuie un peu =P

mamynicky (19:11)

Edgemont a besoin de clics sur son sondage. Merci

chrismaz66 (19:26)

J'y go Mamy et toujours chez Dr House le sondage Bad Boys, votez pour votre chouchou inter-séries, et quelques clics pour Torchwood qui en a bien besoin, merci

Phoebus (00:03)

Bonjour, nouveau sondage sur le quartier de Person Of Interest.

arween (09:26)

Bonjour ! Nous n'avons que peu de participants à l'animation The Night Shift... Elle est pourtant ouverte à tous ! Allez ne soyez pas timide et venez nous rendre visite

SeySey (12:55)

Bonjour! Nouveau sondage spécial fête de Noel sur le quartier Under The Dome! Venez nombreux!

Rejoins-nous !

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