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209 : Script VO

Ce script VO a été migré dans le guide de l'épisode.


Hyde, Eric and Donna are standing outside in the car park

DONNA: Hey, check it out, I’ve got an F on my rapport card.
ERIC: An F? What did you fail?
DONNA: English!
ERIC: Isn’t that...what we speak?
HYDE: Hey, I got a B in Spanish! When did I start taking Spanish?

Donna lights up a cigarette

ERIC: Wow Donna! That’s a cigarette!
HYDE: Even worse, it’s a menthol! You’re gonna get suspended little lady!
ERIC: When did you start smoking?
DONNA: Well you just saw me light it!
ERIC: It’s haha, come on Donna, you know smoking causes cancer.
DONNA: I know, but it makes me look cool, so it’s an even trade. Hold this (she hands Eric the cigarette, he holds it at an arms lenght)
HYDE: Jeez Forman! Hold it like a man would ya?!
ERIC: Shut up! (he holds the cigarette like he’s smoking it and leans against the car) Wow Donna, first you fail English, now you’re smoking. Can I ask you, what are you doing?!
DONNA: Smoking...failing.
TEACHER: Hey Forman! Smoking on school property?
DONNA: No that’s not his, that’s mine!
ERIC: No, it’s’s mine (he takes a drag from the cigarette and leaves it in his mouth) Yeah! Mmm! Menthol!
DONNA: Eric! Quit it!
TEACHER: Yeah okay! Let’s go Forman (he drags Eric back into the school)
HYDES (pickes up the cigarette): Dios mio, no es bueno!



Donna, Kelso, Eric and Hyde are sitting at a table

HYDE: Eric Formans first suspension! I’m so proud!
KELSO: No wait, back up, why did you get suspended?
DONNA: Cause he’s stupid!
KELSO: They can do that?!
DONNA: No, he told them it was his cigarette, and that’s stupid!
ERIC: Please Donna, stop, don’t fall all over yourself thanking me.
DONNA: I didn’t need your help!
HYDE: Yeah Forman, I think she wants to get in trouble. It’s Donna’s little cry for help. “Help me, help me” ! We hear you Donna, and we love you.
DONNA: Get bend, you guys are jerks! (she leaves)
KELSO: Why am I a jerk, I don’t even know what’s going on!
ERIC: This is great. Why did I even take the fall? I mean Donna doesn’t care and Red’s gonna kill me.
HYDE: Relax Forman, he’s not gonna... O wait did you say kill you? Hahahaha, yeah you’re right!
ERIC: Hyde this isn’t funny, Red isn’t on screw ups. Getting suspended from school is right up there with...backing up over my mom.
KELSO: Hey man, having a chick is about sacrifice. Like Jackie, she wants do decorate my van with some of her girly stuff right. So I tell her she can have one stuffed animal. In the glovebox! See, sacrifice!
HYDE: Kelso, remember how you used to put your whole fist in your mouth?
KELSO: Yeah!
HYDE: Do it now!
KELSO: Damn why is everybody so crabby today?!

Fez and Jackie come in, carrying a suitcase

KELSO: What’s in the suitcase?
JACKIE: Stuffed animals for in the van remember? Look Michael, I know we agreed on just one. But then I got to think, and well, I want them all!
KELSO: But...!
JACKIE: But WHAT Michael?!
KELSO: But...!....Okay....
HYDE: Ooooh ease up on her Kelso...
ERIC: Sacrifice is hard

Kelso and Jackie leave, Fez takes a seat

FEZ: So, my hostparents send me up on a blind date and she has a friend for you Hyde.
HYDE: Finally, somebody to love!
FEZ: And it gets better! They’re not even blind! (Eric and Hyde don’t laugh) Get it? Blind? (still no response) Screw you, that’s funny!


BOB: Oh hi honey, you’re mom and I are going out tonight. It’s happy hour are Swingels.
DONNA: What’s Swingels?
BOB: It’s a singles bar.
MIDGE: No, it’s a swingers bar!
BOB: It’s both.
DONNA: And you’re neither!
BOB: Don’t get involved Donna, this is grown-up stuff.
DONNA: Well, before you go, there’s my rapport card
BOB: An F? Donna, we’re very disappointed, and we’re gonna have a long talk about this!
MIDGE: Yes we are! Right after happy hour.
BOB: Provided we don’t meet anyone.
DONNA: Alright, I’ve learned my lesson, and I’ll be sure to try harder.
BOB: There’s our girl!
MIDGE (as they leave): Oh, wish us luck!


Laurie is reading a magazine, Eric walks in

LAURIE: Welcome home smoker!
ERIC: Oh no...
LAURIE: The school just called. You’re lucky I answered the phone and not dad.
ERIC: You didn’t tell?
LAURIE: Eric! Ofcourse I didn’t tell!

Red walks in

RED: Well, if it isn’t Mister Smoker!
LAURIE: Oh wait...yes I did...


Fez and Hyde are sitting at a table, waiting for their dates

FEZ: I’m nervous!
HYDE: Don’t be nervous, you’ll get sweaty.
FEZ: Oh no, too late! I can’t help it, this is my first official American date!
HYDE: That’s why I’m here Fez, to help you out man. Unless they’re uggo’s, and then I’m gone.
FEZ: There they are! And they’re not even uggo’s!
HYDE: Oh they’re hot! The blond is blond...and hot!
FEZ: Yes, and since I set us up on this date, she’s mine, right?
HYDE: Well I can see why you’d think that, but actually, since I came along to help you out, American custom dictates that I get the blond.
FEZ: Once again, the local custom bones the foreign guy.
HYDE: America man! Love it or leave it.


JACKIE: This, this is Camomile the camel, he can sit in the backseat. But Lama Cass here, she has to sit up in the front with us!
KELSO: Jackie, it’s just... I thought all you wanted was to put in one little animal.
JACKIE: Well I know Michael, but this way, there will be even more things to remind you of me. Don’t you like thinking about me?
KELSO: No ofcourse I do, the thing is, how can I say this without hurting your feelings... Oh okay, I don’t want you stupid things in my cool van!
JACKIE: OH! (she leaves the van)
KELSO (goes after her): NO! I didn’t say you were stupid, just everything you like!


Red, Laurie, Kitty and Eric are having dinner

RED: Congratulations Eric, you got suspended. Are you getting dumber?
ERIC: Gee I don’t think so. Look dad, I don’t smoke.
LAURIE: Daddy, if Eric’s a smoker, and he lies about smoking, doesn’t that make him a smoking liar?
KITTY: Okay you know that’s enough. Eric have some more pot roast, here is some mashed potatoes and here is a photo of a cancerous lung...
ERIC: WOW! Mom, gross! Look, I don’t smoke!
KITTY: Okay, well either way, that is what’s gonna happen to your lungs if you keep on smoking.
RED: Well the way he is screwing up his life, death will be a sweet release.
ERIC: So I’ve got that to look forward to...
RED: You got suspended pal! How do you think your college interviews are gonna go?

Eric imagines himself at a college interview

MAN (with Red’s voice): Well...looks like we have a model student here! Excellent grades, secretary treasure of the AV-club...Uhoh, what’s this?! You were suspended?!
ERIC (with Kitty’s voice): Yes, sir, for smoking UCHE-UCH
MAN (with Red’s voice): Well, we can’t have a loser like you at our school! I’m sorry to say you’re not Princeton material dumb-ass!
ERIC (with Kitty’s voice): Oh if only UCHE-UCH I’d listened UCHE UCHE to my mother UCHE-UUUCHH (coughs up some phlegm) Sorry...

Back in the kitchen

ERIC: What a lesson I have learned...can I go?
RED: Sure...Right after you smoke this entire pack of cigarettes!
LAURIE: Yay Daddy! Oeh, tear off the filters!
ERIC: Dad, you can’t be serious...
RED: Have I ever NOT been serious?
ERIC: Dad, I’m telling you the truth, okay you have to take my word for it, I don’t smoke!
RED: Your word huh...
ERIC: It’s all a man has.
KITTY: Oh now that’s nice!
RED: What a load of crap! Light up! (throws Eric the packet)


Eric is sweeping, Red is sitting on the porch, Bob walks by

BOB: Hey, I heard Eric got suspended?!
RED: Yeah and we’re all real proud!
BOB: I’ll tell you what Red, I think Donna’s been having trouble because Eric’s a bad influence!
RED: Could be...but did you ever think the way you and Midge act like idiots that might be screwing her up?
BOB: Nope, I’m pretty sure it’s Eric.
RED: Well, that’s kinda stupid Bob.
BOB: Well I guess the truth hurts.
RED: So does a swift kick in the ass!
BOB: Alright I’m going! But a swift kick in the ass is not the solution to everything Forman!
RED: I gotta disagree Bob! (Bob leaves)
ERIC: Gee Dad, thanks...


Kelso is behind the wheel of his van, driving alongside a pissed off Jackie

KELSO: Jackie! Get in the van!
KELSO: Jackie! Get in the van!
KELSO (soft): Get in the van...
KELSO (soft): Jackie...
KELSO (shouting): Jackie! Get in the van!
JACKIE: ....

Kelso starts hitting the dashboard with a stuffed animal: OH!!


Donna sitting at the table, Eric comes in

ERIC: Hey.
ERIC: So, what do you wanna do, you wanna watch some TV or eat some ice cream or.. I don’t know, apologize to me?
DONNA: I’m sorry!
ERIC: Well you should be! Okay, I’m sorry, I was expecting more of a fight.
DONNA: Did you get in a lot of trouble for of the cigarette?
ERIC: Surprisingly, yes. Turns out Red has a temper, so yeah...who knew...
DONNA: Really?
ERIC: And..uh... your dad doesn’t like me anymore.
DONNA: That’s okay. Cause I do! (they kiss)

Bob walks in

BOB: What is HE doing here?
DONNA (on Eric’s lap): Who?
ERIC: Maybe you should get off me so I could away?
BOB: You better get outta here!
DONNA: Okay, FINE, I’ll get outta here! (gets up)
ERIC: Actually I think he was talking to me...
DONNA: Come on!
ERIC (gets up): Uh okay boy this is awkward, with Donna and the yelling and uh...(Bob looks at him, angry, Eric leaves)


Hyde and Fez are talking with their dates

MARY: So then my pastor said it’s okay to get a B once in a while, nobody’s perfect! Except (she points upwards) you know who!
HYDE: You know, it’s so refreshing to meet someone who’s believes are the complete opposite of mine...
MARY: Well I’m episcopalian and my best friend’s presbyterian, but we’re still best friends! It’s hard work,’s worth it!
HYDE: I bet you make really good punch huh...
MARY: Oh my gosh the best!
PATTY: I mean, the teachers say they deserve our respect, but they don’t! I mean who are they to teach us about history and maths?
FEZ: Hm. I do feel rebellious sexual tensions
PATTY: I mean, it’s like Malcolm X said, by any means necessary!
HYDE: You like Malcolm X?
FEZ: Hey, who doesn’t like Malcolm X?
PATTY: You heard of Malcolm X in Panama?
FEZ: Oh no, I’m not from Panama, I’m from...
HYDE: Hey Fez, come here (Fez gets up) American custom be damned, I want you to have the blond!
FEZ: Oh my God! Blondes are notorious whores! Thank you Hyde!
HYDE: Not a problem (they switch chairs and thus, girls)
FEZ (to Mary): Hi! (to Patty): Bye!


Kelso is still behind the wheel of his van, still driving alongside a pissed off Jackie

KELSO: Come on Jackie. Just get in the van...
KELSO: Jackie. Just get in the van...
KELSO: Jackie...
KELSO: Get in the...
KELSO: Jackie...
KELSO: Jackie-get-in-the-van!
KELSO: Alright. I’m just gonna leave now...
JACKIE: Bye...
KELSO: Ah dammit Jackie GET IN THE VAN!


The guys are still on their date

MARY: Well I heard G-11, so naturally I yelled out: BINGO! Boy was the pastor cheesed at me...
FEZ: Great story...So you are a blond?
MARY: Yeah, natural!
HYDE: I can’t believe you like all the same bands that I like!
PATTY: Yeah, I just like music that’s passionate and rebellious and really pisses off my dad!
MARY: Oh Patty don’t say ‘piss’! OH!
HYDE: Hey, you know what’ll really piss off you dad? You and me grab a twelvepack and stay out all night!
PATTY: I can’t. I have a big test tomorrow.
HYDE: That’s funny. Let’s go.
PATTY: No really, I’ve gotta go study.
HYDE: Study? You don’t study, you’ve got a tattoo!
PATTY: Hyde, rebellion is cool and all, but I want to get into a good college so I can fight the system from the inside. It was nice meeting you though! Mary?
MARY: Oh no, go ahead without me... So Fez, uhm, my parents aren’t home, wanna come back to my house? I have a hot-tub!
FEZ: That would be super! (They leave, leaving Hyde behind)


ERIC: Donna is it me, or does your dad hating me make me even more sexy?
DONNA: Sure.
ERIC: Yeah, I think he senses my bad-boyness...
DONNA: Yeah Eric, you’re a parents worst nightmare
ERIC: Yes. Yes I am!

Kitty sneaks backwards out of the kitchen door and lights up a cigarette

ERIC: Mom what are you doing?!
KITTY (tries to hide cigarette): Nothing! And you (points to Eric with cigarette) you just you do as I say and not as I do!

Laurie walks by

LAURIE: Ahh hey mom, cool, give me a drag (she takes the cigarette)
KITTY: Okay, now see, Laurie is doing as I do, that is wrong!
RED: What is going on out here?

Laurie drops the cigarette, Eric puts it out with his foot

RED: Eric!! Are you smoking again?!
LAURIE: I think he is daddy!
KITTY: No he is not!
KITTY: I think this might be my fault, I think he is just imitating me so he can look cool.
DONNA: Mr. and Mrs. Forman, Eric got caught holding my cigarette at school. I’m the one who was smoking.
KITTY (looking at Red): Ooooww...
RED: Well Donna, thank you for your honesty.
ERIC: WHAT?! How come you believe HER?! I told you I don’t smoke!
DONNA: Okay, I’m gonna go home now, so...goodnight! (she leaves)
LAURIE (upset): Eric’s not in trouble now?! FINE! (she leaves)
KITTY: Well now...I think you have something to say to Eric.
RED: Oh yeah...(pats Eric on the back) Nice job on the driveway...
RED: Okay, just...(he gestures that she has to leave. To Eric): Okay, I’m gonna say I’m sorry but you do lie a lot!
ERIC: What have I lied about?!
RED: You lied about the beer keg, the dent in the VistaCruiser, you lied when you said you weren’t taking the car out of town!
ERIC: What, you knew about that?!
RED: I do now!
RED: Ha! We’re even!
ERIC: Oh dad, you’ve got to be kidding me.
RED: Okay. I’m sorry I made you smoke all those cigarettes.
ERIC: Okay, yeah. That’s okay. Actually I kinda liked them...
RED: Watch it!
ERIC: Nah, I think they’ll go great with beer! (he goes inside)
RED: So does a swift kick in the ass!


Kelso is still behind the wheel of his van, still driving alongside a pissed off Jackie

KELSO: Jackie, get in the van!

Kelso hits the brakes

KELSO: Okay FINE! I GIVE UP, I GIVE UP! You can keep your stuffed animals in the van.
JACKIE: Do you really mean it?
KELSO: Yeah, just one.
KELSO: Three.
KELSO: Deal! (They shake hands and they kiss)
KELSO: Ah alright..Five!
KELSO: FIVE! (Jackie runs to get into the van)


Fez and Mary are sitting in the hot-tub

FEZ: So, you have me in your tub. If you tried to send a sexy message, then message recieved!
MARY: Well Fez, I know we made out in my parents bedroom and I know we frenched in the poolhouse and I know that may seem romantic to some people...
FEZ: Tell me something I don’t know!
MARY: I have a boyfriend.
FEZ: See, that I did not know!
MARY: Fez I really like you, but he’s in college and we’re still faithful.
FEZ: I see. You know, there are many ways to remain faithful yet still have fun!
MARY: Really?
FEZ: Oh yes! (he takes off his swimming pants) Ahhh, that’s much better!


Donna walks in

ERIC: Hey.
DONNA: So I told Bob and Midge that it was my cigarette.
ERIC: And how did that go?
DONNA: Really good, they grounded me.
ERIC: Cool. So what are you doing over here?
DONNA: Snuck out. Being grounded makes it so much naughtier! (they kiss)
ERIC: You know Donna, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but failing classes is not the only way to get attention from your parents, I mean, for instance, a lot of girls when they’re having a bad time at home just...go slutty!
DONNA: You know what Eric? You’re right! Let’s have sex RIGHT NOW!
ERIC: Really?
ERIC: Stop doing that!

Ecrit par mad_maria 
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serieserie (13:39)

ah bon réveil alors

CastleBeck (13:39)

Merci, mais ça peut être long.

Sonmi451 (13:47)


CastleBeck (13:47)

Comment ça va?

serieserie (13:48)

Salut sonmi!

Sonmi451 (13:48)

Ca va et toi alors ça y est tu es réveillée?

CastleBeck (13:50)

Nah, pas encore... Il doit manquer d'action pour bien me réveiller dans ma série. La prochaine aidera

Sonmi451 (14:03)

tu vois si tu partais dehors 30 secondes, je suis sure que ça te réveillerais ^^

CastleBeck (14:08)

Je crois que je préfère prendre mon temps...

CastleBeck (14:12)

Ça fait étrange de regarder un épisode de série après avoir vu le bêtisier de celui-ci...

Sonmi451 (14:13)

Ha oui jamais fait ça

CastleBeck (14:19)

Tu fais bien...

serieserie (14:26)

Oui non Castlebeck c'est une mauvaise idée

CastleBeck (14:36)

Bof, quant à regarder dans le désordre, il fallait pousser jusqu'au bout.

Sonmi451 (14:45)

bêtisier inclus ^^

Sonmi451 (14:45)

tu as raison quand on commence les choses faut y aller jusqu'au bout ^^

Sonmi451 (14:49)

bon je vais aller réveiller mon grand sinon ce soir il va pas dormir ^^

Sonmi451 (14:49)

A toute à l'heure.

CastleBeck (14:57)

À plus tard

CastleBeck (15:45)

C'est pas la musique d'appel en attente qui va m'aider à me réveiller...

serieserie (15:46)

ah oui les petites musiques bien... soporifique ^^

CastleBeck (15:47)

Ils veulent être certains qu'on raccroche.

serieserie (15:48)

oui ^^

CastleBeck (16:02)

Plus de 30 minutes, mais ils ont répondu... pffff.... et le monsieur était bête.

serieserie (16:03)

c'est toujours le cas

CastleBeck (16:05)

Sinon, 120$/h pour faire réparer mon lave-vaisselle, ce qui n'inclut pas les frais de déplacement (130$) et les pièces... J'aurais du lui charger, moi, le 120$ de l'heure pour le temps d'attente!

serieserie (16:05)


CastleBeck (13:40)


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Titepau04 (09:11)

Bonjour à tous!!! Un petit café? Croissants?

Titepau04 (18:54)

Carina, sur quel quartier???

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Bonsoir, Nouveau sondage sur les quartier de Homeland (sondage ne spoilant rien de la série donc ouvert pour tous) et de Sense8. Nous vous attendons nombreux

kystis (07:02)

Bonjour, nouveau sondage sur Dawson, tout le monde peut y participer !!

serieserie (10:22)

Venez participer à la nouvelle animation de Lucifer: pas besoin de connaître la série mais fou rire garanti

Titepau04 (10:50)

Si vous voulez passer des soirées de folies, venez vous inscrire aux hypnogames !!! Grey's Anatomy et NCIS Los Angeles!!!

carina123 (14:51)

Calendriers et Sondages sur les quartiers Jéricho et Lie to Me, venez nombreux !!

sabby (19:11)

Lucifer et Gotham sont de retour ce soir ! Leur vidéo promo ont été ajouté à la chaine youtube de la citadelle Bon visionnage !

Margauxd (21:14)

Bonjour à tous !
Quiz sur la première saison de Blindspot sur le quartier.
Venez sauvez la terre sur The Last Ship d'un virus mortel.
Les premiers Awards de New York Unité Spéciale sont sur le quartier.
N'hésitez pas à participer ou à voter

emeline53 (21:41)

Pas encore de participant pour les différentes animations de la St Valentin sur The Fosters ! Des intéressés ?

Sonmi451 (10:03)

Merci de voter les thèmes dans préférence histoire qu'on avance un peu. ^^

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Bonjour à tous, Sur Grimm nouveau sondage sur les premiers épisode de la saison 6 ! (avec spoilers) venez voter et commenter si vous avez vu les épisodes !!

leila36 (21:00)

Venez voter dans les préférences svp !

Sevnol (12:21)

Nouveau sondage sur le quartier de CSI NY ! N'hésitez pas à venir voter Merci d'avance

emeline53 (12:53)

Un nouveau sondage est en ligne sur UnReal !

Chaudon (15:05)

Si vous n'avez pas encore vu le nouveau calendrier du quartier "Elementary" ainsi que son design, n'hésitez pas à venir donner votre avis !

Profilage (15:51)

Le quartier Esprits Criminels vous propose un nouveau sondage, un petit vote serait bien sympathique, merci !

Locksley (17:10)

La NL du quartier 24 reprend du service et sera envoyée dans les 24h chrono. Pensez à vous abonner si vous voulez la recevoir !

elyxir (19:04)

Je vous attend avec impatience sur the glades pour participer au focus ! Allez hop on s'inscrit pour participer !!

cinto (19:48)

Si vous connaissez Brian Kinney (Queer As folk), n'hésitez pas à la soutenir dans le sondage "Bad Boys" chez Dr House. Et son titre ne serait pas usurpé...mais quel charme!

serieserie (13:29)

Si des personnes veulent s'inscrire pour l'HypnoGame de Grey's Anatomy qui aura lieu CE SAMEDI c'est le dernier moment dès demain matin ça sera trop tard!!!

Profilage (18:39)

Nouveau sondage sur Esprits Criminels, un petit vote ? Merci !

cinto (22:54)

Demain, 20 Janvier, dernier jour pour poster vos cartes de voeux 2017 pour la quartier Ma sorcière Bien Aimée. Gros merci à celles qui ont participé.

Sonmi451 (13:48)

Merci de venir voter dans préférence.

CastleBeck (17:52)

Sondage tout neuf sur Orange Is The New Black ... En plus, vous n'avez pas besoin de connaitre la série pour voter!

lizzy69 (21:52)

Bonsoir à toutes et tous, n'hésitez à passer sur les quartiers ROME et The Tudors, afin de nous aider à redonner vie aux différents forums merci pour votre participation

CastleBeck (14:02)

Nouvelle photo du mois sur OITNB... et nouveau sondage depuis hier.

lachieuse (17:26)

Nouveau design sur le quartier New Girl, par serieserie, n'hésitez pas à venir le commenter

Locksley (19:59)

@serie² : merci pour l'organisation de la soirée HypnoGame ce soir ! Enjoy ! Bonne chance aux équipes !!

serieserie (21:43)

Grande partie d'HypnoGame en cours venez nous rejoindre!!!!

lizzy69 (08:36)

Bonjour à toutes et tous, n'hésitez à passer sur les quartiers ROME et The Tudors, afin de nous aider à redonner vie aux différents forums

Rejoins-nous !

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