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Daniel is in the infirmary, Janet is checking him over before the debriefing.
FRAISER: Well, everything seems fine, [She check his file] yep, all your numbers are normal.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Good, I feel fine.
FRAISER: Yeah? You just, you seem a little out of it Daniel, is something bothering you?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: No. I'm just exhausted.
FRAISER: Well, that's not unusual for someone who just received a high voltage electric shock. Any idea what that machine was suppose to do?
He shakes his head in reply.
FRAISER: Okay, well, if you're not back to normal in a couple of days, you let me know.
Ma'chello/Daniel gets off of the bed.
FRAISER: Oh, wait a minute; I don't want you driving for a couple of days.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Alright.
As Daniel leaves he sees Ma'chello (or rather himself) in a bed.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: How is he?
FRAISER: Not good. He has severe scar tissue all over his body, looks like he was burned or electrocuted. My guess is he was tortured.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: [To Janet] He's not going to live much longer is he?
FRAISER: I don't think so.
In the Briefing Room, SG-1 are being debriefed, Daniel isn't there.
HAMMOND: Let's continues without Doctor Jackson, Captain Carter, you were about to brief us about the device. [Referring to the hand head computer note pad Sam found]
SAM: Yes, Sir, I believe it's some sort of database for all of Ma'chello's inventions; these symbols are like icons on a computer, when I press one of them a schematic diagram appears with notes on the side.
HAMMOND: Any idea on what any of it is?
SAM: Well, Sir, that's the problem, it's not in any dialect I understand, I was hoping that Daniel or maybe Teal'c could shed some light on these symbols.
She hands the device to Teal'c.
TEALC: I do not recognise them.
He hands it back to Sam, Daniel enters.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: I apologise.
He sits down.
HAMMOND: How are you, Doctor Jackson?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Tired, Doctor Fraiser said it'll wear off in a few days; I'll be fine.
SAM: Daniel, do you recognise any of these symbols?
Sam hands Daniel the device, he briefly looks at it and hands it back.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: No.
HAMMOND: Keep trying people, this could be some valuable technology. Dismissed.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: General? Doctor Fraiser thought I should go home, get some rest.
HAMMOND: Take a day.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Thank you.
Ma'chello/Daniel is driven to his apartment block. The car pulls up outside and he gets out.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: [To driver] Thank you, I'll be fine from here.
DRIVER: Yes, Sir.
The car leaves, Ma'chello/Daniel heads to the doors of his apartment building and looks up at it. A woman leaves the building and Ma' chello/Daniel follows her.
SG-1 enter the infirmary.
JACK: [To Hammond] You called, Sir?
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: Jack, Sam, Teal'c, finally. [Who's this 'finally' guy?]
JACK: [To Hammond] How does this gentleman know our names?
General Hammond doesn't know.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: As I've been trying to tell the General and the good Doctor here, I am not Ma'chello, I am Daniel Jackson.
JACK: Oh, here we go.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: I realise what I look like, but I'm telling you that machine somehow switched us.
FRAISER: He, er, knows a lot about Daniel.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: Ask me anything, something only Daniel would know.
SAM: Okay, who's Cassandra?
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: She's a 12-year-old girl, we found abandoned on P8X-987.
JACK: [To Sam] P8X..?
SAM: [Nods] ...987, yeah.
JACK: Alright, lucky guess.
HAMMOND: Where was the Stargate found?
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: At a dig in Giza.
JACK: Alright, describe for me, the dress your sister wore last week, when I took her out.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: I don't have a sister, Jack, and if I did I wouldn't let you near her.
Jack and Sam look at each other.
HAMMOND: Okay, lets assume for a moment that you are Daniel Jackson; then who the hell did we just send home?
Ma'chello/Daniel is walking through the streets of Colorado Springs.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: [To anyone and no-one] Hello friend, I am new to this area, I would like to learn about your culture and customs, will you teach me? Do you not understand me?
FRED: [To people on the street] Spare any change, please?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Why does no-one answer me?
FRED: 'Cos you're strange.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Am I? Tell me how I am strange?
FRED: Man, you can't be just walking up to people you don't know in the street and talking all weird like that, asking for stuff.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Isn't that what you are doing?
FRED: Well, Yeah, but...
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Then you must be strange as well.
FRED: I've been called worse, sure, I'm strange too.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: I am called Ma'chello.
FRED: I'm Fred. [They shake hands]
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Let us feast together, Fred, and celebrate our strangeness and new found friendship.
FRED: On you?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: If that is the custom, we will feast 'on me'.
In the Briefing Room, SG-1 are discussing the Daniel/Ma'chello situation.
HAMMOND: Doctor Fraiser?
FRAISER: Well, Sir, medically speaking he is an elderly gentleman suffering from acute pulmonary damage, with the conscious awareness and memory of Doctor Daniel Jackson.
FRAISER: Well, I can't tell you the method used to do it, General, but I can tell you that our personality, our memory, our conscious selves are derived from unique networks of neurons in the cerebral cortex; somehow Daniel's networks were remapped onto the old man's by that alien device.
JACK: So this could be a one-way deal, right?
FRAISER: I'm not following, Sir.
JACK: We don't know that it went both ways, Daniel could still be... Daniel.
HAMMOND: His doorman said he never came into the building after he was dropped off.
JACK: There you go, lets find him.
SAM: And what if he isn't Daniel?
HAMMOND: We're going to have to prepare for that possibility, Doctor Fraiser?
FRAISER: Sir, this, er, problem is beyond my expertise. I'm going to have to consult with some neuro specialists, Sir.
HAMMOND: Do it.
JACK: General, wouldn't it be a little easier if we just went back got this machine and tried to slam it into reverse?
HAMMOND: Alright, Colonel, retrieve it but consider that device hazardous material, prepare yourself accordingly.
JACK: Yes, Sir.
Back on the planet. They're wearing haz-mat suits.
SAM: I'm going to check out Ma'chello's room, maybe he has some electronic notebooks I can actually read.
JACK: Alright. Er, Captain, maybe you shouldn't touch anything in there.
SAM: I'll be careful, Sir.
Sam leaves, Jack and Teal'c get out some covers to put over the handles of the machine so they don't directly touch it and get swapped
JACK: Alright, I'm going to get mine on first, here.
Jack slides the covers on, followed by Teal'c.
JACK: Alright, on three.
Sam looks at a device in Ma'chello's room.
JACK: One, Two.
Sam makes Jack jump.
JACK: [Annoyed] Captain?
SAM: Sorry, er, I think I know how Ma'chello has lived so long. I think this is some sort of medical device, there's all sorts of tubes and thermal units that look like they're for life support.
TEALC: But Ma'chello was conscious when we found him.
SAM: Well, maybe it's triggered to automatically deactivate when someone comes through the 'gate.
TEALC: Then we can place Daniel Jackson in the hibernation chambers so his body can be maintained.
SAM: Yeah, possibly, if I can figure out how to get it to work again.
JACK: How long, Captain?
SAM: I don't know, Sir, I might not be able to figure it out at all.
JACK: Well, then lets get this thing back to Earth, it might be all we need. [Referring to the device that swapped Daniel and Ma'chello]
JACK: [To Teal'c] On three. One, two, three.
The machine makes the same sound as when Daniel and Ma'chello switched. Jack and Teal'c look at each other.
SG-1 appear through the 'gate into the Gate Room.
HAMMOND: How did it go, Colonel?
TEALC IN JACK: It did not go well, General Hammond.
JACK IN TEALC: Ya think!
General Hammond looks at the three of them, Sam looks sheepishly at him.
Jack and Teal'c are in a room with the body-swapping device.
TEALC IN JACK: This is indeed uncomfortable.
JACK IN TEALC: How do ya think I feel, Teal'c? I've got a snake in my gut, you've got a comfortable, normal body.
TEALC IN JACK: It is normal to you, O'Neill, having a symbiote within is normal to me.
JACK IN TEALC: Yeah, well, whatever, it's bad, okay?
TEALC IN JACK: Have they located Doctor Jackson?
SAM: No, they're still looking. The good news is I've found the switching device on Ma'chello's computer; problem is all of the notations are in that strange dialect. You know, when you think about it, it's actually kind of a good thing that this happened. [Referring to Jack and Teal'c' current situation - never saw that coming!] I mean, I can experiment with the two of you and then when they find Daniel/Ma'chello we can, er, reverse the process, assuming of course that it's re...
JACK IN TEALC: Captain, can we just get on with this?
SAM: Right, well, er I couldn't find any buttons or switches, so unless I've missed something it must be triggered by the handles themselves. I, I think that we should try different ways of grasping the handles. First lets just try grasping it normally, the same way you did before.
Jack and Teal'c both go to the machine and hold the handles, the machine makes a sad sound. Teal'c looks down at himself.
JACK IN TEALC: Nope, still got Junior.
SAM: Alright, er, alright, um, maybe there's an in and an out handle, switch sides.
Jack and Teal'c spin the device around so they have the opposite handles to last time, the machine make the sound again.
TEALC IN JACK: We did not make progress.
SAM: Okay, um, maybe it has something to do with the order you grab the handles. [Some of us think, they're 'grasping' at straws]
JACK IN TEALC: I'm not feeling so hot.
TEALC IN JACK: What are you feeling, O'Neill?
JACK IN TEALC: All of a sudden, Junior's moving around a lot in there.
TEALC IN JACK: This likely means my body has contracted an illness my symbiote must repair.
SAM: Illness, great.
TEALC IN JACK: It is common; the symbiote will remedy the problem.
JACK IN TEALC: Okay, when?
TEALC IN JACK: It can only accomplish its work if you put your body into a state of kel'no'reem.
JACK IN TEALC: Translation, Teal'c.
TEALC IN JACK: Similar to a state of hibernation.
TEALC IN JACK: Perhaps, but I sense much deeper than that of any human mediation. It is imperative that you do this, O'Neill, or my body will be as if it has no immune system.
JACK IN TEALC: Okay, tell me what to do.
A little later, in another room, Teal'c/Jack is lighting candles and Jack/Teal'c is looking at himself (Teal'c's body) in the mirror.
JACK IN TEALC: You don't look so good, I mean I don't look so good.
TEALC IN JACK: You will become increasingly ill as long as my symbiote does not have the opportunity to make the necessary repair.
Jack in Teal'c sits down heavily.
JACK IN TEALC: So you're telling me this is just gonna get worse.
TEALC IN JACK: If you do not perform kel'no'reem it could lead to my death, rather your death. (No pressure like!)
JACK IN TEALC: What do I do?
TEALC IN JACK: Please, be seated.
The outside world, Ma'chello/Daniel and Fred enter a diner.
WAITRESS: Can I help you?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Hello, this is Fred, I am Ma'chello, we wish to feast on me. In fact [louder] let everyone here feast on me.
WAITRESS: You celebrating something?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Indeed we are: life.
WAITRESS: Okay, but I'm going to need a credit card.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: A 'credit card', where would I find such a card?
WAITRESS: Usually in your wallet.
She indicates Daniel's pocket. Ma'chello/Daniel pulls out Daniel's wallet, opens it and shows it to the waitress.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Will one of these cards do?
The waitress pulls out a gold card.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: You are one of the most enchanting women I have seen in my lifetime, I would be honoured by a kiss.
WAITRESS: [Smiles] Yeah, I bet you would.
Back at the base, Jack is trying to meditate.
TEALC IN JACK: Very good, O'Neill.
JACK IN TEALC: It is? I'm not feeling any better.
TEALC IN JACK: You have not yet reached kel'no'reem.
JACK IN TEALC: So, how do I do it?
TEALC IN JACK: Relax, concentrate, you must imagine the centre of your mind and focus. Allow it to take you into a waking sleep, there you will dream, when you do so it will be in harmony with the symbiote. Your sub-conscious minds will be as one. At that moment, you will have achieved kel'no'reem. Here, the symbiote will receive information necessary to repair your sickness.
Daniel/Ma'chello is trying to translate Ma'chello's note pad in the infirmary.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: [Sighs] It's useless.
SAM: No, it's not, you've already figured out that it's a mixture of ancient Latin and Greek, we're getting closer.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: That's obvious because of the forms, the alphabets may be the same but it's an entirely original language. There's no sentence structure, there's no.
The heart monitor beeps as Daniel gets wound up.
SAM: Take it easy.
Sam looks very concerned when the beeping continues and Daniel seems to fall unconscious.
FRAISER: His blood pressure's going up. [Janet checks his pulse and shines a light in his eyes] He's not responding. [To medical staff] Get a CT, check for haemorrhage and get a respirator ready just in case.
FRAISER: He's non-responsive; he's in a coma.
In the diner - Fred and Ma'chello/Daniel are given ice cream sundaes.
FRED: Dig in Ma'chello, before the hot fudge melts all the ice cream.
They start eating.
FRED: So, er, I get the feeling you fought in the Gulf, am I right?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: No. [Continues to shovel ice cream into his mouth] But I was a soldier, I fought many battles, I was captured and tortured.
FRED: Well, that explains a lot.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: I continued to fight and lost all that I loved and cared for, but I knew I could not surrender, for you. If it were not for me, you would all be conquered by now.
FRED: By who? Sadaam?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: He is not a System Lord I am familiar with, but several others would've wiped you out.
FRED: Whatever you say, man.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: But I do not wish to fight any longer. From now on I only want to eat hamburgers and French fries and ice cream sundaes and I want to be with good people like you, Fred.
FRED: All good things come to an end Ma'chello.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: No, no my friend, only evil things must come to an end. For good things such as ourselves, it is possible to go on forever.
Jack has just finished kel'no'reem.
JACK IN TEALC: Whoa, Sweet. Teal'c? [He gets up] What are you doing?
Teal'c/Jack looks up; he has a pair of scissors in his hands and is looking in the mirror.
TEALC IN JACK: If I am to remain in this body, I must shave my head.
JACK IN TEALC: You're making a joke, right?
TEALC IN JACK: I am not joking.
JACK IN TEALC: Teal'c, you will not shave my head.
TEALC IN JACK: It is presently my head, O'Neill.
JACK IN TEALC: Teal'c, this is temporary.
TEALC IN JACK: And if it is not?
JACK IN TEALC: Just give them a chance to find Daniel, okay? Teal'c, I'm going to see General Hammond, promise me, you won't touch, the head, until I get back.
Hammond puts the phone down and Jack/Teal'c enters his office.
JACK IN TEALC: Sir, I feel like I need to be involved in finding Daniel.
HAMMOND: Well, I think we may have him, Son. Daniel's credit card was just used at a local diner.
JACK IN TEALC: Request permission to go there, Sir.
HAMMOND: Denied, you'll remain here until they bring him in. Be patient, Colonel.
JACK IN TEALC: I can't be patient, Sir, Daniel... is dying and I'd rather we get to Ma'chello than some yahoo civvy-officer shooting him and blowing any chances we have of saving him.
HAMMOND: As much as I'd like to, you're not exactly yourself. Request denied.
Daniel and Ma'chello are walking down the street after leaving the diner.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: It has been a lifetime since I have enjoyed such companionship, Fred. I have truly enjoyed it.
A woman walks by, she catches Ma'chello's eye.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: How does one court a wife, Fred?
FRED: Usually with lots of time, energy and those credit cards.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Good, let us begin now.
POLICE OFFICER: Hold it there, buddy.
Ma'chello and Fred turn to see two police officers behind them.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: I will not go back, it is impossible.
POLICE OFFICER: Put your hands behind your head.
Fred does as he is told.
FRED: Do it Ma'chello, you don't know these cops like me.
Ma'chello makes a run for it and the police chase him.
FRED: Wait, wait, wait don't shoot him, man, he's a hero.
Fred follows the police. Ma'chello tries to cross the road but a police car gets in his way, the police grab him and cuff him.
FRED: Ah, don't hurt him.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: You were right, Fred, all good things do come to an end.
Ma'chello is put into the police car.
In the infirmary, Sam is standing at the end of Daniel's bed.
SAM: Come on, Daniel, they've found the guy, they're bringing him in; you have to wake up. [Sam walks to the side of the bed] Daniel, you can't die on me now.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: It's nice to know you don't just like me for my looks.
Janet walks in.
SAM: Hey. [To Janet] Janet.
Janet sees Daniel is awake.
FRAISER: Well, it is good to have you back, Doctor Jackson. You have impeccable timing. [To Sam] Sam, they're on their way in, you should get that machine of his in here.
Sam nods and kisses Daniel on the head.
Janet brings the body swapping device into the infirmary. General Hammond enters with Ma'chello/Daniel and some guards.
HAMMOND: Reverse what you've done to my people.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: I cannot do what is impossible.
HAMMOND: Then you won't cooperate.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: On the contrary, I am telling you the truth, it is not possible.
SAM: Why not?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: In simplest terms, the device retains a memory of every transference. For the very reason you're asking me, I designed it to so it encrypts the transference, blocking any reversal.
HAMMOND: Then reprogram it so it will unblock it.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: You do not have the necessary technology. Even if I wanted to change it, I could not.
Ma'chello/Daniel is pacing his cell.
Sam and General Hammond enter.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Thank you for coming.
SAM: Hope you're enjoying the scenery, it's the only view you'll have for the rest of your life.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Yes, that is why I called you; I thought perhaps I might be able to negotiate for better accommodations.
HAMMOND: We're listening.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: First let me apologise for the unfortunate transference of your Colonel and the Jaffa.
HAMMOND: Just get to the point.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: [Looks at the computerised note pad in Sam's hand] The symbols you've no doubt tried to decipher are unique, in form they are similar to my native language, but they're actually an original code I devised in case my work came into enemy hands.
HAMMOND: We're not your enemy, if anything we're allies.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: That is why I will teach Captain Carter that code. With my knowledge I guarantee you will not only be able to effectively defend yourself against the Goa'uld, you will in fact be able to defeat them.
SAM: And our cost for this knowledge?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: My freedom, of course.
HAMMOND: And Doctor Jackson?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: He is not an issue.
SAM: Not an issue!? We're talking about a friend's life.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Your friend was my solution to hiding my face permanently; consider him a casualty of war. I am offering you the salvation of your planet. Is this not worth more than the life of one archaeologist?
HAMMOND: I don't know about the customs on your planet, but here on Earth the value of a life is priceless.
General Hammond leaves.
SAM: I want you to get to know your casualty.
Sam and Ma'chello/Daniel enter the infirmary. Ma'chello/Daniel sits on the chair beside Daniel/Ma'chello's bed.
SAM: I believe you two have met.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: Well from what I can see, you're looking... good.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: What would you like me to say, I am sorry', that I wish I could undo it? I do not.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: Why?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Why? Because I earned it, that's why, I earned it because I sacrificed my life for you and your people. The least you could do is compensate me with another.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: What right do you have to judge the value of my life?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: I have suffered, more than anyone should suffer in a lifetime; for 50 years I fought against the Goa'uld then I was betrayed by my wife, whom they secretly turned into a host.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: So is mine, she's still with them.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: At least you still have a planet and friends; two billion of my people died rather than surrender me to the Goa'uld.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: You have made great sacrifices, we owe you gratitude, but still it does not give you the right to take another's life.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: If you had the technology, you would do the same.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: No, I wouldn't, because then I would become no better than the Goa'uld.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: I am not a Goa'uld, I hate the Goa'uld.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: The Goa'uld use host because they think they are better than humans, because they believe they deserve it. You're a Goa'uld Ma'chello. I am nothing but a host to you.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: I am not a Goa'uld.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: My wife is still alive, there is a chance I could still save her, you are stealing that chance.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Even if you still had this body, you will never find her.
DANIEL IN MACHELLO: No, I will find her, I will find.
The heart monitor goes flat line.
FRAISER: He's in de-fib, prepare the paddles. Come on Daniel.
Time seems to slow down - Sam glares at Ma'chello, he looks emotionless. Sam then looks to the heart monitor - time speeds back up as the monitor starts to beep as normal again
FRAISER: Wait a minute; I've got a heartbeat, but I don't know for how long. Give me one mil epi.
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: [To Sam] If I could trade places with him again, I would but unfortunately I am the only one who cannot.
SAM: Wait a minute; you're the only who that can't?
MACHELLO IN DANIEL: Yes.
SAM: [To officer] Get Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c.
Hammond, Jack and Teal'c all walk down the corridor and enter the infirmary.
JACK IN TEALC: What's going on, Captain?
SAM: I think I may have come up with a solution to this whole mess.
JACK IN TEALC: Finally.
FRAISER: Well, whatever you're gonna do, do it fast.
SAM: Alright, it's a little complicated so I need you to do exactly as I say; we're going to have to play a little musical chairs with your bodies. First Colonel, you and Ma'chello will switch.
Jack starts to argue but thinks better of it before he can say anything.
SAM: Trust me, Colonel.
Jack/Teal'c and Ma'chello/Daniel switch, the machine make the same sound as always.
JACK IN DANIEL: I'm here.
SAM: How do you feel, physically?
JACK IN DANIEL: Peachy.
MACHELLO IN TEALC: The transference was successful, physically we are fine, please continue, Captain.
SAM: Right, now you [Indicates Teal'c/Jack] and Daniel should switch.
Jack/Daniel gets out of the way and Teal'c/Jack and Daniel/Ma'chello switch, as you've guessed the machine makes the sound again.
DANIEL IN JACK: Whoa, what a dream, what happened?
SAM: I don't have time to explain right now, Daniel, just bear with me.
DANIEL IN JACK: Okay.
JACK IN DANIEL: Danny boy.
Daniel/Jack turns around to see himself. He's slightly shocked. Jack beckons him over.
DANIEL IN JACK: Jack?
MACHELLO IN TEALC: I wish I had time to teach you the symbols. In your hands my inventions could go on fighting the Goa'uld.
SAM: It's alright, I'll figure it out, please. [She indicates the machine - he take the handles and the machine does its job]
TEALC: I am myself again, thank you Captain Carter.
Janet takes Ma'chello's hands off the machine. Sam indicates the machine for Jack/Daniel.
JACK IN DANIEL: [Puts his arm around Daniel who is still unsure what is going on] Our turn.
JACK: Yes! Yes! [To Teal'c] Shave my head?!?! Eeezh.
DANIEL: I'm back.
FRAISER: [About Ma'chello] He's conscious again.
MACHELLO: [To Daniel] Thank you for my holiday.
Daniel looks over him. Ma'chello goes flat line. Janet closes his eyes and switches the monitor off.
HAMMOND: Welcome back, SG-1.