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Chloe : Daily Planet info line... Obituaries, yeah sure, let me transfer you. Oh, dog obituaries, oh I'm sorry we don't actually run those. Yeah, ok, you're welcome.
Lois : Die! Die!
Chloe : Lois, I'm sorry you were in for a girl's night out and I got called in to screen news that's not fit to print.
Lois : Compare to the Kent Farm this is a rager.
Lois : Besides, I wouldn't pass up an opportunity to watch a big shot reporter in action.
Chloe : All right, now that I'm swimming in butter, why are you really here obliterating aliens with me at 1 AM?
Lois : I'm racking up brownie points
Chloe : Uh huh.
Lois : I need you to help me move out of the Kent's next weekend.
Chloe : Oh, you took the apartment at the Talon. How are you ever going to live with out Clark?
Lois : One word: blissfully. How you ever had a crush on Richie Cunningham, I will never understand. C'mon, you gotta come back to Smallville. It-It'll be fun. I'll buy pizza.
Chloe : Lois, you don't need to Tom Sawyer me, we're family. Just tell me when to be there.
Chloe : Ugh. Daily Planet info line.
Girl : I need a reporter to meet me.
Chloe : Who is this?
Girl : I wanna talk to a reporter. You have to send someone fast before he finds me. Seventh and Edgemont. Please, you gotta hurry.
Outside Hotel 8
Lois : We couldn't have met her at a coffee shop?
Chloe : I don't think she was looking for a brunch date Lois. Sounds like she had a story someone didn't want her to tell.
Lois : I thought you were supposed to pass on any real leads to someone whose cubicle was actually above ground.
Chloe : Well, unless I want to stay subterranean my whole career I've gotta take a chance.
Girl : Please! Help me!
Chloe : There she is.
Girl : Help!
Chloe : Over here!
Girl gets hit by car
Chloe : [whispers] She's dead.
Jonathan : So how much longer do I have you before you hightail it back to Metropolis?
Clark : Well, Lana's gone for the weekend. I lost out to a comet her class is tracking at the Lincoln Observatory.
Jonathan : How about Chloe or Lois?
Clark : Well, Chloe is juggling classes and the Daily Planet. And Lois, heh, I'd do anything to get rid of Lois. I don't think that's exactly prereq for best-friend status.
Jonathan : Well...
Jonathan : Hold this.
Clark : Dad.
Jonathan : Is that the best you got? I had another six inches out here.
Senator Jennings : I wasn't sure how rusty your reflexes had gotten.
Clark : Senator Jennings!
Senator Jennings : I know it's been a long time, but what happened to "Uncle Jack"?
Clark : Doesn't seem fit for someone who's on a first name basis with the governor.
Clark : I don't seem to remember the governor winning a state football championship. Congratulations.
Clark : Thanks.
Senator Jennings : I don't suppose anybody pushed you to follow in his footsteps?
Jonathan : Hey, it's a lot better than spending the football games underneath the bleachers with the sheriff's daughters.
Senator Jennings : Not both of them at once.
Jonathan : Since when do you make the trek all the way out here in the middle of a campaign?
Senator Jennings : Exactly why I came. I needed a breather from the rat race. Besides, I can use your help rallying the farmers. You gotta lota pull with that union.
Jonathan : Why? You always win this county by a landslide.
Senator Jennings : Well, the race is about to get a lot tougher. Rumor has it, I'm running against Lex Luthor.
Metropolis - Daily Planet
Detective Sawyer : Let me get this straight, no ID or make on the vehicle, no ID on the driver, and no clue why this girl called. I'd say you're off to a great start as an investigative reporter Miss Sullivan. If you remember anything else, let me know.
Lois : I think that's code for, "We're gonna file this under the rug."
Detective Sawyer : This is a big city, and bad things happen. A pretty young girl, not in college, with no traceable job...in that part of town. It's not a mystery what happened down there.
Lois : You don't think it's strange that an alleged streetwalker was wearing $500 Jimmy Choo shoes?
Chloe : Look, Detective Sawyer, this girl died trying to tell me here story. Now I'm sorry I'm not street-hardened, but she's way more than a statistic to me. We have to find out who did this.
Detective Sawyer : I applaud your spirit, girls. But you should know that most of those streets turn out to be dead ends. I will do my job. You do yours.
Lois : Hopefully you'll have more luck than Officer Stalin.
Chloe : Yeah, I ran the number that Melissa girl called from. It was from a payphone right near were we saw her. But the only addresses within a ten-block radius is a bunch of warehouses... And a club called the Windgate.
Lois : I'm guessing she didn't get all glammed up to count inventory.
Senator Jennings : So your dad outran four cop cars and pissed off half the chicken farmers in Chicksaw County.
Jonathan : It's only because you said you knew a shortcut.
Clark : See, these aren't the sides of the stories that I hear. You got any more of these? They'll become very useful next time I'm in for a lecture.
Jonathan : No, I don't think-
Jonathan : Hang on. Don't you say anything else. Just a second!
Detective Sawyer : Maggie Sawyer, Metropolis P.D.
Jonathan : Hi.
Detective Sawyer : May I come in?
Jonathan : Uh, yeah, sure, c'mon in.
Detective Sawyer : Thank you. Senator. Campaign headquarters said I could find you here.
Senator Jennings : What can I do for ya?
Detective Sawyer : A young woman was killed in the warehouse district last night. Hit and run. We went through her apartment and we found this. (Holds up photo with girl and senator) Now I don't have enough evidence to bring you in for questioning but I would certainly appreciate an explanation.
Senator Jennings : So would I. I've never seen her before.
Detective Sawyer : Well that must have been tricky while she was cuddled up on your lap. With all due respect senator, pictures don't lie.
Jonathan : Hang on just a minute. In this day an age they certainly do. This pictures a fake.
Senator Jennings : Doesn't matter. The minute it hits the press the damage is done. This could ruin me.
Jonathan : So it looks like the mud slinging has already started.
Clark : Dad, do you really think Lex would go this far?
Jonathan : C'mon Clark, you know Lex Luthor better than anybody. He's not gonna enter a race unless he's sure he's gonna win it.
Clark : Is it true Lex?
Lex : You know after you've been MIA for weeks. I don't think a hello is too much to ask for.
Clark : How long have you been planning to run for state senate?
Lex : Several months now and if you're implying I should have told you, you might wanna rethink the barrier you've drawn in this friendship.
Clark : I can't believe you'd destroy someone, just to win a race.
Lex : There's a reason they call it a "race", not a "political potluck." But if you think I had something to do with this.
Clark : Lex, your competition was linked to the murder of a young girl just before you announce your candidacy. It's a bit of a coincidence, don't you think? You honestly don't recognize that picture.
Lex : The only thing I recognize is the booth. It's the Windgate Gentleman's Club in Metropolis. Not a smart stop-off for an incumbent on the campaign trail.
Clark : Look, I know this guy. And if you're not trying to set him up somebody is. Maybe it's somebody at this club.
Lex : Clark, there's a reason that club's so underground. All right, the city doesn't exactly give licenses for some of the things that go on there. Are you sure you wanna get involved in this?
Clark : Jack's like an uncle to me. And in case you've forgotten, that's what friends do for each other.
Lex : Look, if you're serious about getting through that front door, you're gonna need a little more than your drivers license. Do me a favor. Stay out of trouble.
Metropolis - Windgate Gentleman's Club
Chloe : I guess even Map Quest has its limitations. Do you get to this place through a manhole cover?
Lois : Or a big neon door. I'd say the Armani suits a dead giveaway.
Lois & Chloe : Hi.
Bouncer : Sorry girls.
Lois : Oh common, our friend's already in there.
Chloe : Yeah, it's her only night in town and I promised I'd take her to the hottest to address. Please?
Bouncer : It's a private club. So I'm afraid this is as much of the club as you're going to see.
Techno music playing inside club
Women chatting indistinctively
Chloe : This makes my Halloween Heidi dirndl costume look tame.
Lois : So you think that Melissa girl was a dancer here?
Chloe : I don't know. Her Jimmy Choos are a long way from angel wings and fishnets. Excuse me. Hi. Uh, do you guys know anything about a woman named Melissa Page?
Chloe and Lois enter private room
Chloe : The people won't talk, but records definitely will. If she worked here she'll be on file.
Man : Joel, David, c'mon up. Are you ladies lost?
Lois : Um, we were just looking for, uh-
Chloe : Oh, don't be shy. She's here to dance.
Man : Are you the replacement Rocco sent over?
Chloe : Yeah, he really hated to see her go.
Man : Take your clothes off. Let's see what you got.
Lex : I knocked. I guess you didn't hear.
Jonathan : Oh, I head you.
Lex : I'm here to see Senator Jennings.
Jonathan : Lex, if you wanna sling some mud I strongly recommend you do it at someone else's house.
Lex : Don't worry. I'm not holding my breath for your vote.
Jonathan : You know I've never liked you all that much Lex, but even I'm surprised by the depths you're willing to sink to.
Lex : And I'm sure you have such a good view of it all from your pulpit. "Holier-than-thou" is an easy fallback Mr. Kent. It keeps you from really looking at the people around you.
Jonathan : I've known Jack for over 25 years and I've never had a more trustworthy or loyal friend. This state needs somebody like him. Somebody who's willing to stand by their word. Somebody's who willing to do what's right for everybody, not just for himself. Somebody's whose willing to go up against people like you.
Lex : Well, if you know him so well, maybe you should ask your good old boy to explain this to you. After Clarks visit I decided to look into the Senators unfortunate snapshot myself. It's his cell phone record. Seems he's been calling his dead stripper friend a little more than frequently.
Jonathan : When are you releasing this?
Lex : I'm not. But if I found it, you know the press won't be far behind. I thought he'd like a heads-up.
Windgate Gentleman's Club - Dressing Room
Chloe : Lois, are you almost done? You didn't have that much to put on.
Lois : You know, remind me when this is all over to never, ever ask a favor of you again.
Chloe : Oh, this isn't just about me. This is about getting to the truth.
Lois : Yeah, well, the last girl who knew the truth ended up as a hood ornament on someone's car.
Chloe : Howdy. You know, my friends really excited about working here, but I think it's kinda dangerous. Especially after that girl was killed an everything.
Woman 2 : How can I explain this to you? Don't talk to me. Don't talk to any of us.
Lois : Well? What do you think?
Chloe : All I can say is...God bless America.
Windgate Gentleman's Club - Main Area
Host : Good evening. First time at the Windgate?
Clark : Yeah, Lex Luthor referred me.
Host : Will Mr. Luthor be joining you this evening?
Clark : No, uh, I'm meeting Jack Jennings.
Host : The Senator? Let me show you to his usual table.
Windgate Gentleman's Club - Backstage
Lois : Uh, on second thought-
Chloe : No, no, no, no, no. Thinking bad, dancing good. Just ask Mr. Shoot-First-Think-Later over there. Now I need you to dig down and find your inner Demi Moore. Okay?
Lois : Okay. You better at least use this distraction to find something about Melissa.
Windgate Gentleman's Club -Main Area
Host : Here you go.
Clark : Thank you.
Host : Your welcome. Have a good evening.
Woman 3 : Hey handsome, what can I get for you?
Clark : I'll have a coke. S-straight up, on the rocks.
Woman 3 : Okay.
[Pussycat Dolls "Don't Cha" playing]
Whistling and Clapping
Announcer : Gentleman, lets give Colette a nice au revoir. And now, making her first Windgate appearance, welcome to the stage, all American-girl... Amber Waves.
Lois pole dancing
Man : Bravo, bravo!!
Song fades out
Announcer : I'd salute to that anytime. Let's give it up for our red-blooded recruit. And now, lets give a good home grown welcome to Dixie.
Lois : What are you doing here?
Clark : What are you doing here?
Lois : It's Chloe's fault. We're following a murder story.
Clark : Well that makes two of us, but I think I'll stick to my method.
Lois : You know, you're gonna get me fired if you keep looking at me like I'm Jabba the Hutt
Clark : What do you want me to do?
Lois : Oh, uh...I don't know. Give me a twenty and meet me out back.
Clark : Uh...
Lois scoffs and grabs the twenty
Clark listening with super hearing
Mr. Lyon : Bravo, that new girl. Who is she?
Host : I don't know, she's new here. For 500k, you know I don't ask any questions of my girls.
Mr. Lyon : And for that much you better not answer any, either.
Lights go on
Officer : Everybody freeze!
Detective Sawyer : Metropolis P.D. Everybody take it easy. We have a report of minors working and being served in this establishment. We will be interviewing you individually.
Mr. Lyon : C'mon
Lois : What?
Mr. Lyon : Do you want to stick around and get arrested? Come on.
Detective Sawyer : (To Clark) Really wrong time, and really wrong place kid. You're under arrest.
Host : What is this about?
Detective Sawyer : We had an anonymous tip that a car involved in a hit-and-run last night was seen leaving your establishment.
Host : You can't just arrest-
Detective Sawyer : The city's looked the other way because your clientele can pull a lot of strings. Now I've got a dead 19-year old on my hands. I gotta go by the book. Okay, people, listen up. I know its 5:00 in the morning. Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Officer : All right, ladies.
Chloe : Clark?
Clark : Chloe, where's Lois?
Chloe : I don't know. What--? What are you doing here? Clark.
Clark listening with super hearing
Bouncer : Just what do you wanna know? Maybe I can help you.
Detective Sawyer : You're the bouncer. You know everything that goes on in this place.
Bouncer : Cut me a deal.
Detective Sawyer : Tell me about Jennings.
Bouncer : He was drunk. I took him home. He had nothing to do with the girl. He's innocent.
Windgate Gentleman's Club - Dressing Room
Chloe : Wow, these are um. They're heavier than they look.
Woman 4 : They're way better than the heels, trust me.
Chloe : So, you guys must have been pretty close with Melissa huh? Uh, sorry, premature segway. But c'mon, we're obviously on the same side here. I just wanna know what happened to her.
Woman 2 : It's a tragedy, is what it is. She finally gets her shot at Prince Charming, and wham. Bye-bye ivory tower.
Chloe : Are you talking about the Senator?
Woman 5 : No way. The only thing he did wrong was fall for her.
Woman 2 : There's this suave guy. Kinda euro looking.
Chloe : But now what did he want with Melissa?
Woman 5 : Every few months he picks some lucky girl and takes her out of this dump.
Woman 2 : Probably to some tropical island somewhere.
Woman 6 : You know why they invented fairy tales? Because no one wants to face reality. All we know, is that the girls disappear and then no one ever sees them again. Somebody should've warned your friend about that.
Chloe : Lois?
Woman 6 : Yeah, I saw her leave with him during the raid.
Detective Sawyer : Sullivan. Let's go. You can thank Lex Luthor for some very generous phone calls.
Chloe : Detective Sawyer, I think the guy that killed Melissa Page has my cousin.
Clark : It's the same guy who made some deal with the club owner just before he vanished.
Detective Sawyer : You know this guys name? Ok, so let me see if I'm understanding you. Your cousin, who I am assuming is underage, was stripping and making deals with wealthy patrons, manage to escape a police raid.
Clark : It's not like that.
Chloe : Yeah, she was just helping me to investigate.
Detective Sawyer : Investigate? Okay, Luthor may have pulled a get-out-of-jail-free card for you this time but it will not happen again. If you wanna play Nancy Drew and Hardy boy, do it in someone else's precinct.
Senator Jennings : Look, if I don't change my stance just because some polls tell me to, I am certainly not going to because some journalist hears a rumor, okay, Jordan? Goodbye.
Senator Jennings : You could just not resist could ya?
Jonathan : Still have a nasty habit of leaving your keys in the ignition. Get in.
Senator Jennings : With you at the wheel? I guess it wouldn't be the first time I put my life in your hands. What? Damn things been stick ever since I bought it.
Senator Jennings : Try that with a four cylinder. So what's the real reason for the joy ride?
Jonathan : When were you gonna tell me about the girl, Jack?
Senator Jennings : What, you think I had something to do with what happened?
Jonathan : I have no idea. But I do think it's time you gave me some straight answers, don't you?
Senator Jennings : Look, I didn't want you to be involved. There's only so much you should ask of a friend.
Jonathan : Oh, so instead you lie to my face-
Senator Jennings : Well, what do you want me to say? That my marriage is more of a business arrangement and the only person who makes me happy is some dancer half my age. How much of that would you of really understood.
Jonathan : I might not understand any of it Jack. But, come on, all of our lives have taken turns that we didn't expect.
Senator Jennings : You've never had a lie get out of hand? Or you've never been caught at it?
Jonathan : I've never been in a position were people look up to me. You are Clark's hero.
Senator Jennings : Oh, so I'm not supposed to have any faults huh. Who can live up to that? You know why there's no heroes today. It's because at the end of the day, people don't respect them. They envy them. And they're just waiting for them to screw up.
Jonathan : What are you gonna do Jack?
Senator Jennings : What do you want me to do? I'm a good senator, you wanna give that kind of power to somebody like Lex Luthor?
Jonathan : I might not agree with Lex Luthor's politics Jack, but at least I know who he is.
Lois : Nice place you got.
Mr. Lyon : Thank you.
Lois : Well, thanks for helping me out back there.
Mr. Lyon : My pleasure.
Lois clears throat as man takes off her coat
Mr. Lyon : I think I have something a little more your size. [Holds out dress] I won't peek, I promise. You want me to help you tie it?
Lois : Oh, oh no, that's fine. I've almost got it.
Lois : Wow. Whatcha doing there?
Mr. Lyon : It looks so much better on you than any of the others. You're going to make them very jealous.
Lois : You know, I think I'm just gonna call a cab.
Mr. Lyon : Think of your taxi days as a thing of the past. You have a whole new life ahead of you now.
Lois : I don't know what kind of kink your into, but... you are seriously behind on your Gloria Steinem.
Metropolis -Daily Planet
Chloe : So the owner of the Windgate is selling his strippers to the highest bidder?
Clark : It's Kansas. It's definitely not Smallville.
Chloe : Five-hundred grand for a massage with benefits seems like a lot. Do you know anything else?
Clark : Just the bouncer told Detective Sawyer that the guy was the son of some foreign diplomat.
Chloe : Then he'd have diplomatic plates. See, while you were inside checking out the entertainment. I was out in the parking lot taking shots of the license plates of all the cars. Here we go.
Clark : Okay, check that one.
Chloe : That's the UN tower.
Metropolis -Helicopter Pad
Clark : Lois!?
Metropolis -Daily Planet
Chloe : Chloe Sullivan.
Clark : He's got Lois. Any psychic guess on this guys computer password?
Chloe : Oh, God, don't even try. He's probably got like a zillion layers of security on it.
Clark : Yeah, but it's still warm. They must have just left. The printer's still on.
Chloe : Try pressing print again.
Clark : Chloe, it's a fake passport for Lois. You think they're gonna try and smuggle her out of the country?
Chloe : Uh, even if he does, I doubt he'll take her through an airport. Clark, there's a helipad on the roof.
Metropolis - Helicopter Pad
Helicopter beginning to rise
Pilot : We're stuck on something!
Lois : Hey, 007, nice of you to show up.
Clark : I'll start assuming that means thank you. Looks like it got caught on the cable.
Indistinct radio chatter
Lois : This scum-bag was about to air-cargo me to the honey moon suite at the Grope-a-cabana.
Detective Sawyer : I'm glad you're all right. Now, if you will release him, I'm afraid Mr. Lyon is free to go.
Clark : What? You can't just let him walk away.
Mr. Lyon : Diplomatic immunity.
Detective Sawyer : As a consulate guest in our country, Mr. Lyon can't be arrested or tried for any crime he commits on our soil. Even murder. I'm sorry. I can't touch him.
Lois : Well, I can.
Knees Mr. Lyon in crotch
Mr. Lyon : Ugh.
Detective Sawyer : Some people live above the rules. Guess what? That's life in Metropolis. You want justice...I suggest you stay a little closer to home.
Luthor Mansion - Lex's Office
Lex : We'll finish this later.
Clark : I just wanna say thank you.
Lex : You know, when I asked you to stay out of trouble, I kinda, uh, thought that might include being caught underage at a strip club, using my membership while I'm gearing up for a political campaign.
Clark : I didn't mean to drag you into this.
Lex : Come on Clark. Who are you kidding? You had me masterminding this whole Jenning's plot before you walked thro those doors.
Clark : I didn't think he was lying to me.
Lex : But you assumed I would.
Clark : I can't believe that I looked up to Jack.
Lex : Tell me what you remember about Kind David. Humor me.
Clark : Kind David... slew Goliath, saved his people.
Lex : And afterward he saw a beautiful woman bathing and fell madly in love. The problem was, she turned out to be his best friends wife. So you know what are great hero did? He sent his best friend off to die in battle so he could have her to himself.
Clark : Kind of leave that part out, don't they.
Lex : We all need to believe in heroes, Clark. And even the best ones are far from perfect.
Kent Farm -Barn
Clark : Surprised to see your car out front. I thought that you'd be gone now that you're clear of murder.
Senator Jennings : I've been mulling over some pretty tough decisions. This seemed like a good place to get my bearings again.
Clark : Have you talked to my Dad yet?
Senator Jennings : I'd say he did most of the talking. After 20 years, the man's still got a hell of a knack for the guilt trip, doesn't he.
Clark : Usually works ‘cause he's right.
Senator Jennings : Your fathers always had some pretty high expectations of the people around him. He's the one man I never wanted to dissapoint.
Clark : You should try being his son. The thing I always try to remember is, no matter how much he lays on...he never expects more than he expects of himself.
Senator Jennings : You think your Dad will ever forgive me?
Clark : Well, I've given him a lot of trial runs in the forgiveness arena. Look, I know my Dad's friendship means a lot to you. But there's a lot of other people out there who look up to you.
Senator Jennings : I guess you can only pull of the disguise of being superhuman for so long huh.
Clark : What are you gonna do?
Senator Jennings : I've called a press conference. I'm pulling out of the race.
Kent Farm - House
Jonathan : Going back to the city, facing all those reporters takes a lot of guts.
Senator Jennings : After facing you, live feeds and blood-thirst journalists are a walk in the park.
Jonathan : Look, if we let a couple of rough days destroy over 25 years of friendship, then I guess we weren't as good as friends as I thought we were.
Jonathan : Jack, if you're pulling out of this race because your old buddy can't seem to climb off of his pulpit, that's not what I want at all. All, I really ask is that you be honest.
Senator Jennings : I'm pulling out of the race because I'm no longer the best man for the job.
Jonathan : Are you sure? If you wanna hang in there and fight, I'll be right behind you hundred percent.
Senator Jennings : I know. But all those things you said about me being loyal, and trustworthy and willing to take on the Luthors of the world. I might have been that man once, but I have to step aside when I see somebody who still embodies all those qualities.
Jonathan : Jack, you can't seriously be talking about Lex Luthor.
Senator Jennings : I'm talking about you, Jon. Kansas could use a senator like you. You should think about it.
Kent Farm -House
Lois : Hey, Smallville. Your personal space is about to be reinstated.
Clark : What are you doing, you just moved back in.
Lois : Well, now that Lana's living with Chloe, I'm taking the place. You don't have a key to the apartment, do you? You know, that you two have been doin' it?
Clark : No, we, uh...
Lois : Good, cause I wouldn't be wanting any surprise midnight visits.
Clark : Is there anything I can do to make this move go faster? Maybe pack your three closets of clothing. Maybe burn your loofa sponge, take your Whitesnake collection, to Goodwill?
Lois : You can take this. Come on, Smallville, move it.
Brendan Bensons "Cold Hands Warm Heart" playing
Clark : You know, this is weird. I spent so much time up here with Lana.
Lois : Clark, it's not like I'm taking her place. Just her sublet.
Chloe : Okay, before I start any of the real heavy lifting, you have to indulge me for just a moment in my first Daily Planet byline. It's not exactly the Torch, Clark. Page 73. At the bottom.
Lois & Clark : Congratulations.
Chloe : Thanks, well you deserve half the credit. I mean, I'd still be playing point guard at the pet obituary hotline if it weren't for the two of you.
Clark : Well, here it says Interpol was able to arrest him due to an anonymous tip.
Chloe : About that heavy lifting...
Clark : Mmm hmm.
Lois : Clark? Look, I'm not great at this, so just keep your mouth shut and listen up. Even though I was kicking butt on the helicopter, it was really nice to have backup. And you didn't have to come after me, but you always do. So I wanted to say thank you. You're a really good friend. Oh, and, uh, about the lap dance. If you decide to tell anybody about it, your Elmur Fudd night light will make a very public appearance.
Clark : Aye-aye...sailor.