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Night, in front of the cinema. Marquee: Le Banquet D'Amelia.
Buffy and Angel walk out amidst other moviegoers.
Buffy: That was very ... artistic.
Buffy: Wasn't what I expected. I've never actually seen... Well,
from the title I thought it was about food.
Angel: Well there was food.
Buffy: Right. The, the scene with the, the food. So, feel like
getting some hot chocolate? Or some cold shower?
Angel: I'm sorry. I wanted to take you out somewhere fun. It's been
a long time since I've been to the movies. They changed.
Buffy: A little scary. And a little not, which is also scary. I'm
sorry. I just, I don't like getting you worked up like that.
We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul.
Besides, I don't even own a kimono.
Angel: Buffy, you don't have to worry about me.
Buffy: Just don't like to rub your nose in it. Suddenly wondering
where that expression comes from.
Angel: Look, I don't need to see movies to get worked up. Just being
around you does that just fine. Doesn't mean that I'm gonna lose
control, that I'm going to be frustrated around you. It feels nice,
just to feel.
Buffy: It doesn't drive you crazy, when we're close?
Angel: Watch this. (long kiss) See? Safe as houses. (more kisses)
Faith: Check out the lust bunnies.
Angel: Council has you back on active duty?
Faith: Finally. They want us down by Mercer.
Buffy: Okay. (to Angel) Goodnight.
Angel: I'll see you soon.
Faith: Don't worry, big guy. Just keeping her warm for you.
Faith and Buffy leave, arm in arm. Cut to a cemetary. Buffy
and Faith walk together.
Faith: Gotta tell you, B. The willpower thing, nice job.
Faith: But, the close but no cigar thing with Angel. I don't know
if I could handle, you know, the way you're not handling it.
Buffy: Faith, when it comes to Angel, do me a favor. Duck!
Faith ducks and Buffy punches a demon behind her.
Demon: Ow! Ooh! What are you, nuts? Going around punching
Buffy pulls off its hat to reveal two horns growing out of its
Demon: So what, I'm a demon. That makes it okay?
Both Slayers ready their stakes.
Demon: Hold it, whoa! Stake me now, and you never find out what I
got for ya, huh? Think about it. Demon seeks Slayers, highly unusual?
Faith: Talk fast.
Demon: How would you like to get your hands on the Books of
Buffy: Never heard of 'em.
Demon: Books of Ascension. Very powerful works and I'm not talking
about the prose. They deal with some, ah, dark stuff. And the Mayor
(Faith frowns) would hate for somebody to get ahold before he, ah,
well you know.
Buffy: Don't know. Before he what?
Demon: Hey, hey, read 'em and weep. That's all I got to say.
Tomorrow, I get the books. Meet me here and if the price is right,
well I give the books to you.
Buffy: Not really looking to trade with a demon.
Demon: And if this were still a barter economy, that would be a
problem. I want cash, princess, five large for the whole set.
Faith: So you can buy, I'm guessing here, some skin care products.
Demon: Plane ticket. Out of the Hellmouth before its adios, Slayer
Loco. So, five G's, what do you say?
Faith: I think "Die Fiend" sums it up, wouldn't you say.
The Demon jumps between them and runs away.
Buffy: Oh, let him go. I don't think he falls into the deadly threat
to humanity category.
Faith: A demon's a demon.
Buffy: I'd like to know about these Books of Ascension. Anything that
would pin the Mayor down would be great.
Faith: Yeah. It'd be great.
Mayor's office. Faith sits. The Mayor paces.
Mayor: And what exactly did this demon look like?
Mayor: Ah. And you say he has the Books of Ascension, or will soon,
and he was, what, willing to sell them?
Faith: That's what I said.
Mayor: Hmm. You know what I wish? I wish you'd pull your hair back.
I know, I know, fashion's not exactly my thing, but, gosh darn
it, you know, you've got such a nice face. I can't understand
why you hide it.
Faith: Yeah, sure. Whatever. It's just a matter of time before this
demon guy is gonna spill. Then Buffy and the superfriends are
Mayor: You know, you worry too much for a girl for your age. That's
unnecessary stress. Luckily, I've got just the thing.
The Mayor pours a glass of milk and hands it to Faith.
Mayor: There you go. Now, first you load up on calcium. Then find
this demon, kill the heck out of him, and bring the books to me.
Faith looks at the milk and sets the glass down, untouched.
Faith: And if Buffy gets to him first?
Mayor: Oh, well. Frankly I don't like to think about that. I like
good, positive, up thoughts. If you fail me in that way. Well, you
know, replacing Mr. Trick was chore enough. (chuckles) Oh, come on,
don't worry. Drink up. There's nothing uncool about healty teeth
In the library. Buffy, Xander, and Willow sit at the table.
Wesley stands by it. Giles stands in the door of his office.
Wesley: And you say this demon wanted cash? That's very unusual.
Giles: Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still beating
heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.
Buffy: Well, he said the books were worth the price.
Xander: What's this Ascenscion mean?
Wesley looks at Giles.
Giles: I'm not sure.
Wesley: No, not really a common term in demonology.
Willow: Ooh ooh! The Marenschadt Text. I think in the section on
genocide, they mention Ascenscion.
Buffy: Well, we have a winner.
Xander: And, more importantly, two losers.
Giles: Where did you find that volume?
Willow: In the top of your book cabinet with the stuff you try to
Giles disappears into his office to get the book.
Xander: Hidden? Are there any engravings I should know about?
Uh, frolicking nymphs of some kind?
Willow: No. Just magic secrets Giles doesn't think I'm ready for.
Giles returns with the book.
Giles: Ah, yes, yes, here we are. There's a reference here to the
journal of Desmond Kane, pastor of a town called Sharpsville.
"May 26, 1723. Tomorrow is the Ascenscion. God help us all."
It was the last anyone heard.
Wesley: Of Kane?
Giles: Of Sharpsville. The town more or less disappeared.
Buffy: So Ascenscion possibly not a love-in.
Giles: I think you should meet with this demon, Buffy.
Buffy: Yeah? Anybody got five thousand dollars?
Cordelia enters and approaches Wesley.
Cordelia: I have something important to ask you.
Xander: Important? Let's start calculating those odds, people.
Cordelia: What are you doing Friday night?
Wesley: Uh, I, uh, as always my sacred duty as a Watcher prevents
me from, ah... Why?
Cordelia: I have a paper to write for English and you're English, so
I thought ... (sees the looks from Buffy and Xander) What? Is it
so wrong to be getting an insider's perspective? (to Wesley) I
study best in a good restaurant, around eightish? Think it over?
Wesley is speechless. Cordelia exits.
Xander: And on the day the words "flimsy excuse" were redefined, we
stood in awe and watched.
Wesley: Right! Books of Ascenscion, Mayor, slaughter. Tell you what.
Why don't we try to find this demon sooner rather than later?
Perhaps persuade him to lend us the books free of charge.
Buffy: I think Faith might be useful in that persuasion part.
Wesley: I imagine so. Where is Faith anyway?
The demon is frantically packing a suitcase. Faith kicks open
the door of the room.
Demon: Hey, Slayer! You know, I wasn't expecting company. Give me
a minute and I'll have the place tidied up for you.
Faith: You got the books?
Demon: Well, that depends. You got my money?
Faith slugs him.
Demon: You're tough in negotiations and I respect that. Check 'em
out. Now ah, that is quality merchandise. That's worth five grand
Faith: Books of Ascenscion.
Demon: Mm hmm. Original editions and everything. Uh, great
condition. Okay, it's a little worn on one spine, some slight
foxing, but otherwise, perfect. Now, the five grand, it's ah, you
Faith: I don't like to haggle.
She pulls a knife and stabs the demon. He struggles, they roll
on the floor, but she finally kills him. She stares at the
blood on her hands.
Night, in Angel's mansion. Angel is reading. Faith enters.
Faith: Angel. I got nowhere else to go. Look, I hate asking for help,
but I'm asking, cause, uh, I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble. The real
Angel: It's okay.
Faith: No, it's a couple of county lines over from okay, believe me.
Angel: Look, just talk. Come on. Start from the beginning.
Faith: Mind if I skip past the 'mom never loved me' part and get right
to it? I'm scaring myself.
Angel: I know the feeling.
Faith: That's why I came to you. I don't want to get all twelve
steppy, but remember when you told me that killing people would
make me feel like some kind of god? (shows him her bloody hands)
I think I just came down to earth. It's not human if that's what
you're thinking. Not that that makes me feel any better or this
guy any less dead.
Angel: Faith, you need help. You can't do this alone.
Faith: I know. For real now, I'm scared. Scared of what I am, what
I'm turning into. Cold-blooded straight up killer. Like you.
Angel: Not like me. I didn't have a choice. But you do. You can stop
Faith: Believe me, I don't want to end up the way everybody said I
would, dead or alone or a loser.
Angel: No, you don't have to.
Faith: I don't know. Maybe it's too late for me.
Angel: It's not.
Faith: Angel, I'm so scared. (hugs him)
Angel: It's alright, shh, it's okay.
They hug for a moment, then as they part, they hesitate, almost
kissing. Angel pulls away.
Angel: Whoa. Faith, I, look, I can be here for you. But not like that,
alright? I'm with Buffy.
Faith: Buffy, yeah. I didn't mean it like that. Maybe I did, but I
wouldn't press it. You love her, don't you.
Angel: I love her.
Faith: Good for you. The two of you, you're lucky. Friends?
Angel: Yeah, we're friends.
Faith: Then I'm lucky too. I'd better go.
Faith: I need to cool down. Spend some time alone. Don't worry about
me. You've been a big help. Just knowing somebody cares. Hey, I know
I shouldn't be asking this, but do you think if things were different
that things between you and me would be different, too?
Angel: We'll never know.
Faith: Right. How could we?
Angel: Take care of yourself.
Faith: Lifetime of practice.
Faith kisses Angel on the cheek, then leaves. Buffy appears
outside the mansion in time to see the kiss.
Night, in Faith's new apartment.
Faith: It's not like I wasn't trying, okay?
Mayor: Hey, there's no need to convince me. I'm sure you gave it your
level best. I just don't understand what that boy could be thinking?
Faith: Try Buffy Summers, like in a big, fat, one track way.
Mayor: Hey, come on, don't be discouraged. You're a bright, young,
energetic girl with a whole life ahead of her. And I won't tolerate
brooding. So you couldn't give him that one moment of true happiness.
Faith: I was thinking more along the lines of a long weekend, but
Mayor: And he spurns your advances. So be it. There's more than one
way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that's factually true. We
want to take Angel's soul away. If we can't do it by giving him
happiness, well, by golly, we'll just have to do it in the most
painful way imaginable.
Fade to commercial.
In the library.
Wesley: Find anything?
Giles: Six course banquet of nothing with a scoop of sod-all as a
Wesley: I've had no better luck. There must be something about this
Giles: Perhaps I should contact the Council, maybe run a search...
Wesley: No. I don't, uh, it should be I that ... The Council isn't
entirely aware that I'm letting you work for me (off Giles's
look) um, with me. I don't think they'd be very happy at the idea
of the two of us collaborating.
Giles: Well I wasn't about to burst into glorious song about it
myself. Why don't you call?
Buffy enters, dispirited.
Wesley: I think the most expedient plan would be to find these Books
of Ascenscion themselves. Buffy, you and Faith must find this demon,
Buffy: Well, I'll go back to the scene, see if I can track him.
Wesley: Wait for Faith.
Buffy: That could be hours. The girl makes Godot look punctual. I'll
just go myself.
Wesley: Buffy, this is a job for the both of you. This demon could
Giles gives Buffy a look of concern.
Wesley: If these books are important as he says, he has good reason
to hide. (Xander enters) Finding him is going to be extremely
Xander: Found your demon.
Buffy: Fashion tip, Wes. Mouth looks better closed.
Xander: Got the address. (hands Buffy a slip of paper) I beat it out
of Willy the snitch personally.
Buffy: You beat up Willy?
Xander: Sure! Well, actually, let's just say I applied some pressure.
Or more accurately, that I asked politely, and then, uh, okay, I
Buffy: How much?
Xander: Twenty-eight bucks. (to Giles) Does the Council reimburse for
that kind of stuff?
Giles: Did you get a receipt?
Buffy: I know this. It's down by the bus station. Not the nicest part
Giles: Again. See, no standards. I mean, any self-respecting demon
should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt.
Buffy: I'll remember to mention that.
Faith: Mention what? Where we going, girlfriend?
Buffy: (pulls her arm away from Faith) Actually, I can handle this
Faith: Why should you get to have all the fun? Share, share, that's
Buffy: Right. Got our demon.
Faith: Oh, well, let's go look him up.
Buffy marches away and Faith follows her.
Xander: Is it me or did it just get really cold in here?
Buffy and Faith enter the demon's room.
Buffy: Faith, careful.
Buffy: Missed you last night.
Faith: Yeah, I was patrolling. No shortage of scum you gotta watch
in Sunnydale, right?
Buffy: So I've heard.
Faith reaches around a doorway for a light switch without looking.
Buffy notices but doesn't say anything. They see the body.
Buffy: Looks like somebody got here first.
Faith: Betting they got the books, too. Some hit.
Buffy: This wasn't just a hit. This was somebody's idea of a party.
Faith: Maybe the guy put up a fight. We gotta get going. Come on,
nothing we can do here now. You coming?
Daylight. In the Mayor's office. Across from him sits a mage
concealed behind Bedouin robes. Only his eyes and upper nose
are visible. The eyes seem serpentine.
Mayor: Mint? Didn't think so. Well, scheduling a man of your talents
is quite the chore, I'll tell you. Between the chanting and the
sacrifice, oh, my golf game is shot. But heeere you are. You know
why I've summoned you. Can you do it? (Mage nods) Need anything from
me? (Mage shakes his head)
Mage: You have risked great danger in calling on me. The deadliest
magics are needed to rob this creature of its soul.
Mayor: Big job alright.
Mage: And so it shall be done.
Mayor: Oh, that's just swell. Listen, you sure you don't want any?
Cause they're, they're low calorie. Okay.
Daylight. In a school lounge. Buffy and Willow sit together
on a couch.
Willow: Are you okay? You seem a little on edge. Is there anything
Buffy: It's nothing. (Willow looks) It's nothing. (Willow looks)
Alright, alright, stop with the third degree. It's Faith.
Willow: What about her?
Buffy: I went to Angel's last night and Faith was there. They looked
sort of intimate.
Willow: No way. I know what you're thinking and no way!
Buffy: You're right. Faith would never do that.
Willow: Faith would totally do that. Faith was built to do that.
She's the do that girl.
Buffy: Comfort, remember comfort, here?
Willow: I mean, please, does Angel come up to Faith's standards for
a guy? Let's see, is he breathing?
Buffy: Actually, no.
Willow: But Buffy, Angel. There's no way he would ever do that.
I mean, you're the only thing in the world to him.
Buffy: Sometimes I wonder. Angel and Faith have a lot in common.
And there's so much he doesn't tell me.
Willow: But it's so clear the way he feels about you. Buffy, I too
know the love of a taciturn man and you have to look at their
Buffy: I was.
Willow: Well, what did he say?
Buffy: Say? You mean when I straightforwardly asked him what was
Willow: So you bailed?
Buffy: I couldn't. I mean, not ...
Willow: Enough. Stop with the crazy. Go talk to Angel.
Buffy: But I ...
Willow: No. Go. I give you leave to go. (points her finger away)
Buffy: Thank you.
Night. In Angel's mansion. Faith enters.
Faith: Hey. Sorry to bust in uninvited.
Angel: What do you want.
Faith: Look, I'm not so good at apologies. Mostly because I think
the world's out to screw me so I'm generally more owed than
owing. But I've been thinking about last night and I want you
to know I was really sorry.
Angel: It's alright, Faith.
Faith: No, it's not alright. Yeah, I was freaked and needed somebody,
but you're with Buffy. I should know better.
Angel: Yeah, okay.
When Faith gets within arm's reach, Angel backs away.
Faith: You don't trust me.
Angel: It's not that.
Faith: Hey, no problem. Join the club.
She turns her back. He approaches her.
Angel: Look, Faith. I know what you're going through, alright, and
how hard it can be. It's important you have somebody who's been
there and who understands what you're going through. (He grasps
Faith by the shoulders and turns her around.) Look, I want to
She has a vial of blood in her hand and splashes it on his chest.
Out of the shadows steps the Mage. His skin is blue and his eyes
shine yellow. He starts chanting a spell.
Faith: I wanted to do this the old-fashioned way, but hey, your
loss. Lucky I've got some tricks Buffy don't know yet.
Angel: You don't have to do this.
Faith: I know, but it's fun. Now relax, it'll be over soon.
The Mage continues chanting. Lights flow from his hand and
congeal around Angel's body. The lights fade and the Mage
disappears into the shadows. Angel falls to the floor. He
gets up and his face is vamped. Angel and Faith kiss.
Fade to commercial.
The kiss continues.
Angel: Thanks, so much. (slaps Faith away) It's good to have the
taste of a Slayer back in my mouth. It's like cigarettes,
you know, just when I thought I'd quit. (kicks Faith in the
side) No, don't get up. It's good to be back in Sunnydale. Nice
climate, plenty to eat, no tortured humanity to hold me down.
(Faith flips herself up.) But you know what bothers me? (Angel
grabs her by the neck) You don't seem to be getting the big
picture here, Faith. Now I don't know why you turned me, but I'm
just glad you did.
Faith breaks free and kicks him away. She pulls out a stake.
Faith: I've got my reasons.
Angel: Let me guess. You summoned back the true Angelus because
you need a new boy toy. Doesn't work that way.
They exchange blows. They stand, Angel holding Faith's stake
Faith: You wanna be smart? You listen to me.
Angel: Funny thing about vampires, Faith. We don't establish
meaningful dialogue with Slayers.
Faith: Not how Buffy tells it.
Faith kicks him in the knee, driving him to the ground, and
jumps astride him, threatening him with the stake.
Angel: (chuckles) I should have known you'd like it on top.
Faith: You want to listen or you want to die?
Angel: As long as you're there, I mostly want you to wriggle. But
Faith: Last time you got like this, Buffy kicked your ass all the
way back to hell. You want to do better this time?
Angel: Still listening. (his face shifts to human)
Faith: Good boy. Now all you got to do is play nice and call truce
and I'll hook you up with the real power in this town. Interested?
Faith: Then get ready to meet the new boss.
In the library. Buffy, Willow, Oz, Xander, and Cordelia (really
bored) sit at
the table. Wesley stands in front. Giles stands in the background.
Wesley: Our enemy has us at a disadvantage. We seem to be
consistently one step behind him. Now he has the Books of Ascenscion.
We must take definitive action.
Cordelia: You have the greatest voice. Have you ever thought about doing
books on tape?
Xander: Way to focus CC.
Wesley: Yes, let's, uh, let's try to stay on track. We need everyone
working together here. Where's Angel?
Buffy: I don't know. I went to the mansion but he wasn't there.
Wesley: And Faith?
Buffy: She's missing too.
Willow: Which means nothing. Two unconnected events.
Buffy: What should we do?
Giles: Buffy, I think you should try to retrieve the Books of
Ascenscion. Check out the Mayor's office but be damned careful.
Do not confront the Mayor. We don't know a thing about him.
Buffy: I'll go home and stock up on weapons. Slip into something a
little more break-and-enterish.
Giles: Right. Willow, how far did you get with the Mayor's files?
Cordelia: Excuse me, I believe Wesley is running this meeting.
Wesley: It's, uh, it's quite alright. Willow?
Willow: It's all bad news. By the time I got through the encryptions,
the files were empty. Guess he saw me coming.
Oz: What about the Hall of Records? Go to the source.
Wesley: Good idea. There must be information on the Mayor there.
Giles: Wesley, why don't you take the group and start looking?
Cordelia: (pops up) I'm in Wesley's group.
Giles: There is just the one group.
Cordelia: Yes! And I am in it.
Xander: Anyone mind if I skip the trip? I'm gonna cruise town, keep
my ear to the ground, and I think five's a crowd.
Cordelia: It really is.
Oz: I'll drive.
Willow: (proud of Oz) They liked your plan.
Giles: Anyone finds anything, check in with me. (to Buffy) Be
In the Mayor's office. The Mayor sits behind his desk. Faith
and Angel stand in front of it.
Faith: So, can I keep him?
Mayor: Let's just take things step by step for the moment. Now then,
Angelus, may I call you Angel?
Angel: Well, actually, I'm thinking more along the lines of you
calling me Master.
Mayor: (unfazed) Ah. You know, Angelus, attitude may get you
attention, but courtesy wins respect. (chuckles) I am the one
responsible for your new attitude.
Angel picks up a letter opener, drags it across the desk
surface. He starts prowling around the office.
Angel: That's why I'm here.
Mayor: No problems with the transition? No side effects?
Angel: Had a soul, now I'm free.
Mayor: That's terrific! Poetic too. Not that I read much poetry
except for those little ones in the Reader's Digest. You know,
some of those are quite catchy. (chuckles)
Angel: Hey, I don't mean to rush things here but are you trying to
get to some kind of point?
Mayor: Kids today. Rush rush rush. Well the point, Angel, is
you're a very powerful young man, good for Faith, and there just
may be future for you in Sunnydale. I see you're admiring my
Angel: Well, actually, I was thinking of stabbing you through the
heart with it.
The Mayor turns his chair to face Angel and spreads his hands.
Mayor: Please do.
Angel throws the blade at the Mayor's chest. The Mayor brings
his right hand in front of it and the blade embeds itself up
to the handle though his palm.
Mayor: Nice shot.
The Mayor pulls the blade out of his hand and holds his palm
up so they can see the wound heal itself in seconds.
Mayor: You see, I'm what you might call impervious. Can't be killed,
or harmed in any way. (wipes the blade with a tissue) And that's
just a cornerstone in my plans for this great town of ours.
Angel: Mmmm. Can't be killed, but you don't like germs?
Mayor: Uck, eew, awful things, unsanitary. But my question is, now
that Faith has brought you back, what are your intentions?
Angel: Well, gee, sir, I thought I'd find that Slayer that's given
you so much trouble and torture, maim, and kill her.
Mayor: Fine! You know it's nice to see you're not one of those
slacker types running around town today. Torture Buffy. Killing
her's fine, just make it a slow one.
Angel: My favorite kind.
Mayor: Wonderful, wonderful. We don't want a replacement Slayer
anytime soon. They can't all turn out like my girl Faith.
(Faith smiles) Have fun.
Faith: Let's do it.
Mayor: Uh, try to have her home by eleven.
Angel and Faith leave.
Mayor: She's not a little girl anymore.
Night. Xander is walking in a deserted street.
Xander: I love when you talk, Wesley. I love when you sing, Wesley.
Can you say the words jailbait, Wesley? Limey bastard. (sees
Angel and Faith approach) Hey guys! Man, where you been? You
gotta find Buffy. She's going to her place and stocking up on ...
Angel casually smacks Xander in the jaw without breaking
stride. Xander falls limply to the ground. Faith doesn't
even look at him.
Angel: That guy just bugs me.
Night. Angel knocks on Buffy's front door and Joyce opens it.
Joyce: Faith. Angel.
Angel: Hi, Joyce, nice to see you. Is Buffy home?
Joyce: Upstairs. Please tell me it's not some vampire thing.
Angel: The only vampire here is me, Joyce. Say, you change your hair?
Joyce: (shrugs) Highlights.
Cut to Buffy's room. She's loading a bag with weapons. Faith
and Angel enter.
Faith: Knock knock.
Buffy: Where have you guys been?
Angel: Been looking for you. Good thing we found you before we left.
(kisses the top of Buffy's head)
Faith: We got the books.
Angel: They're at the mansion.
Faith: We'd take 'em to Giles ourselves, but I think strength in
numbers is the way to go. Come on.
Angel: (Takes the weapons bag) Let me get those for you.
Cut to the mansion. The trio enters.
Buffy: Okay, let's get the books someplace safe. Where are they?
Angel: Actually, there's been a slight change in plan, Buff.
Buffy: Buff? You just called ... What's the matter with you?
Faith stands back and watches the show with a little smile.
Angel: Nothing. (his face has vamped) Matter of act, I haven't felt
this good in a long time.
Angel: You know, I never properly thanked you for sending me to hell.
Angel: Yeah, and I'm just wondering where do I start? Card? Fruit
basket? Evisceration? (grasps Buffy's arms)
Angel: Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Maybe there's still some
good deep down inside of me that remembers and loves you. If only you
could reach me. Then again, we have reality.
Buffy breaks away from him.
Buffy: I will kill you before I let you touch me. Faith, we need to
get out of here, now.
Faith: Speak for yourself, B. Me, I like it here.
Angel growls and Buffy turns to him. He knocks her out with a
Angel: One thing I learned about Buffy, she's so cute when she's
Fade to commercial.
In the Hall of Records. Wesley, Cordelia, and Willow sit at a
table pouring over books.
Cordelia: Hey! I know a way to make investigating the Mayor even more
boring. On second thought, no, I don't.
Oz brings a book to the table with an old picture of the Mayor.
Oz: Hey, whoa.
Willow: Whoa. Big hey whoa. Guys, check this out. Wow, like father,
They compare a shiny new photo of the Mayor with the old photo.
Oz: How about like exact same guy, like exact same guy?
Wesley: Mayor Wilkins is over one hundred years old. He's not human.
Xander: I, uh, hate to spoil the mood, but this is so much worse than
Willow: Xander, what happened to you?
Xander: You know how some people hate to say I told you so? Not me.
I told you so. Angel's back in the really bad sense, and uh,
I told you so.
Wesley: Angelus has turned? Xander, this is terribly serious. Are
Xander: Gee, let me think. Kind of hard to tell. Last thing I remember
was his fist.
Wesley: We must contact Giles immediately.
Xander: Good thinking. Let's waste time with a lively debate. Leave
Buffy alone. See how dead she gets.
Cordelia: Slow down, Xander. This isn't Wesley's fault.
Xander: Actually, it is. Faith was your responsibility. Guess who's
Angel's new playmate?
Willow: Faith and Angel? Together?
Xander: Imagine the possibilities.
In the mansion. Angel (human face) is chaining Buffy to the
wall. Faith watches.
Angel: Morning, sleepyhead. You know what I just can't believe? All
of our time together and we never tried chains. Well, can't dwell
on the past, especially with the future we have ahead.
Faith: Bondage looks good on you, B. The outfit's all wrong, but,
Buffy: You don't know what you're doing.
Faith: Really? Weird, because something about all this just feels so
right. Maybe it's one of those unhappy childhood things. See, when
I was a kid I used to beg my mom for a dog. Didn't matter what kind.
I just wanted, you know, something to love. (kisses Angel) A dog's
all I wanted. Well, that and toys. (lifts a blanket to reveal
torture instruments) But mom was so busy, you know, enjoying the
drinking and passing out parts of life, that I never really got what
I wanted, until now.
Buffy: Faith, listen to me very closely. Angel's a killer. When he's
done with me, he'll turn on you.
Angel: She's right. I probably will.
Faith: Yeah? Hunh. Guess we'll just have to keep you around for a
while then. Before we get started, I just want you to know, if
you're a screamer, feel free.
Buffy: Why, Faith? What's in it for you?
Faith: What isn't? You know, I come to Sunnydale. I'm the Slayer. I
do my job kicking ass better than anyone. What do I hear about
everywhere I go? Buffy. So I slay, I behave, I do the good little
girl routine. And who's everybody thank? Buffy.
Buffy: It's not my fault.
Faith: Everybody always asks, why can't you be more like Buffy? But
did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me?
Angel: I know I didn't.
Faith: You get the Watcher. You get the mom. You get the little
Scooby gang. What do I get? Jack squat. This is supposed to be
Buffy: Faith, listen to me!
Faith: Why? So you can impart some special Buffy wisdom, that it?
Do you think you're better than me? Do you? Say it, you think
you're better than me.
Buffy: I am. Always have been.
Faith: Um, maybe you didn't notice. Angel's with me.
Buffy: And how did you get him, Faith? Magic? Cast some sort of
spell? Cause in the real world, Angel would never touch you and we
both know it.
Faith backhands Buffy.
Buffy: You had to tie me up to beat me. There's a word for people
like you, Faith. Loser.
Faith: Uh huh. You're just trying to make me mad so I'll kill you.
I'm too smart for that. Stick around.
Buffy: For what? Your boss's lame Ascenscion. Like I couldn't stop
Faith: You can't.
Buffy: I will.
Faith: Keep dreaming. No one can stop the Ascenscion. Mayor's got
it wired, B. He built this town for demons to feed on and come
graduation day, he's getting paid. And I'll be sitting at his
right hand. Assuming he has hands after the transformation. I'm
not too clear on that part. And all your little lame ass friends
are going to be kibbles'n'bits. Think about that when your
boyfriends cutting into you.
Buffy: I never knew you had so much rage in you.
Faith: What can I say? I'm the world's best actor.
Angel: Second best.
Faith turns to Angel in surprise.
Buffy: Graduation day. You think we missed anything?
Angel: I think we know everything she knows.
Buffy: May I say something? (pulls her hands free) Psych!
Faith: You played me. You played me!
The Scooby gang bursts in the front door. Faith throws Angel
into the gang's path. Faith and Buffy fight. The gang wards
off Angelus with crosses and stakes. Buffy and Faith end in
a standoff, each holding a knife to the other's throat.
Faith: What are you gonna do, B, kill me? You become me. You're not
ready for that, yet.
Faith grabs Buffy's neck and kisses her on the forehead. Faith
Willow: Are you okay?
Buffy looks at Angel. Angel avoids her gaze.
In the library. The Scooby gang and Wesley. Giles and the Mage
stand face to face.
Mage: The task is finished.
Giles: Yes. Thank you for coming to me and for that rather effective
light show you put on.
Mage: This restores the balance between us, Rupert Giles. My debt
to you is now repaid in full. Do not call upon me.
Giles: I shan't. Peace with you.
Mage: And with you.
The Mage walks backward, fading into thin air.
Willow: His debt to you is repaid? What did you do?
Giles: I introduced him to his wife.
Wesley: Well, I for one protest. You pitted Slayer against Slayer in
a dangerous charade that could've gotten them both killed, without
informing me! I'm telling the Council! (storms off)
Giles: I think you should. (Wesley stops) We have a rogue Slayer on
our hands. I can't think of anything more dangerous.
Buffy: At least now we know.
Giles: And we know a little bit more about the Ascenscion.
Willow: Graduation day. There's a big scary un-fun. At least Angel's
not bad, though. That's good, right?
Xander: Yes, I feel so much better knowing that he broke my face in
a good way. It's a good bruise.
Buffy: (sad) He was only acting, Xander. It was just an act.
Daylight. In Faith's new apartment.
Mayor: Well, you win some, you lose some. From where I'm sitting,
it's batting average that counts. So you lost some friends.
Faith: I wouldn't exactly call them friends.
Mayor: Well, what are you worried about? Chin up! You don't see me
looking disappointed. Heck, no. You know why? Because I know you'll
always have me, Faith. I'm the best, the most important friend
you'll ever have. Besides, you know, once the Ascenscion starts,
the 'in' crowd you're so concerned about? Whoo! They'll be lucky
if there's enough left of them to fill a pothole. Promise. Still
unhappy? Okey doke. I've got two words that are going to make all
the pain go away. Miniature golf. (grins)
Faith shakes her head and breaks into a big smile.
In Angel's mansion. Buffy enters.
Angel: How you doing?
Buffy: Been better.
Angel: Not hard to believe. You were a real soldier last night, Buffy.
Buffy: That's me. One of the troops.
Angel: I know how hard it was for you.
Buffy: I really doubt that.
Angel: Is there anything I can do to make it better?
Buffy: Look, I know you only did what I asked. And we, we got what
Angel: I never wanted it to go that far.
Buffy: I know that. It's not even a question of that. It's just,
after ... I need a little bit of a break. Please. (walks away)
Angel: You still my girl?
Buffy: Always. (leaves)