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~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~
Lunch hour at Sunnydale High School. The camera pans at a very low angle
along the sidewalk past the stairs at the front of the school. Seniors
are coming and going. The camera comes to rest on two pairs of legs, one
standing calmly, the other rocking back and forth, heel to toe. The
camera pans up to Willow and Oz, waiting for Xander and Cordelia so they
can go. Oz is characteristically calm, but Willow is swaying around,
Willow: (smiling) I'm giddy.
Oz: Oh, I like you giddy. Always have.
Willow: It's the freedom! As Seniors, we can go off-campus now for
lunch. It's no longer cutting. It's legal! Heck, it's expected! Wow,
it's, uh, also a big step forward, a Senior moment, one that has to be
Oz looks back and sees Xander and Cordelia coming.
Willow: You can't just rush into this, you know?
Xander heads for Willow's side opposite Oz, and the two boys each grab
an arm and start to pull her across the street.
She starts to resist, leaning backward with all of her weight.
Willow: No, I can't!
Oz and Xander just lift her by the arms and pull harder. Cordelia smiles
at the spectacle.
Xander: You can.
Oz: See, you are.
Willow: Oh, but, no! What if they changed the rule without telling?
What if they're lying in wait to *arrest* me a-and, and throw me in
detention and mar my unblemished record?
They reach the other side of the street, and Oz and Xander steady her on
Xander: Breathe. Breathe.
Willow takes a breath and lets it out, calming herself.
Willow: Okay. Hmm...
Oz takes Willow by the hand and Xander puts his arm around Cordelia.
They begin walking into the small park in front of the school.
Willow: (relaxed) This is good! This is... Hey, we're Seniors! (with an
attitude) Hey, I'm walkin' here! (giggles)
They see Buffy just inside the park. She has laid out a blanket in the
shade of a palm tree by a bench, and is setting out serving plates of
food and bottles of drinks. The group begins to walk toward her.
Xander: Ahh. Buffy and food.
Willow: Maybe we shouldn't be too couple-y around Buffy.
Cordelia: Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her
turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?
Xander: (admiringly) Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or
They come up behind the tree just out of Buffy's view.
Oz: All right, prepare to uncouple...
They take a few more steps.
They let go of each other as they come around the tree. Willow crosses
in front of Xander so Buffy sees girls on the right, boys on the left.
Xander: Buffy, banned from campus, but not from our hearts, how are you
and what's for lunch?
Oz climbs onto the bench and sits on the backrest. The others kneel on
Buffy: Oh, I just threw a few things together.
Cordelia: (impressed with Buffy's offerings) When did you become Martha
Buffy: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut
prosciutto. (hands out drink bottles)
Xander: I don't believe she slays, either.
Oz: Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to.
Buffy: (opens her bottle) Second of all, way too much free time on my
hands since I got kicked out of school. (takes a drink)
Willow: Oh, I know they'll let you back in. (takes a drink)
Xander: Don't you and your mom have a meeting with Principal Snyder?
Buffy: We're seeing Snyde-Man tomorrow.
Willow: (notices a boy) Ooo, Scott Hope at eleven o'clock. (Buffy
looks) (to Buffy) He likes you. He wanted to ask you out last year, but
you weren't ready then. But I think you're ready now, or at least in the
state of pre-readiness to make conversation, or-or to do that thing with
your mouth that boys like.
Buffy snaps her head around at Willow and gives her a shocked look.
Willow: (realizes her slip-up) Oh! I didn't mean the *bad* thing with
your mouth, I meant that little half-smile thing that you... (glares at
Oz) You're supposed to stop me when I do that.
Oz: (smiles and shakes his head) I like when you do that.
Scott has finished talking with his friends and comes toward them. Buffy
watches him approach. As he passes he looks over at Buffy.
Scott: (smiles) Hi, Buffy.
Buffy: (smiles back) Hi.
Scott just continues on his way. Willow breaks out into a huge smile.
Willow: I think that went very well. Don't you think that went very
Cordelia: He didn't try to slit our throats or anything. (nods) That's
Willow: Hey, did you do that little half-smile thing?
Buffy: (sighs) Look, I'm not trying to snare Scott Hope. I just want to
get my life back, you know, do normal stuff.
Willow: Like date?
Xander: Oh, you wanna date. I saw that half-smile, you little slut.
Buffy punches him on the arm, and none too lightly.
Xander: (smiles and chuckles) Ow. (winces and holds his arm)
Buffy: All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and
save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie
Cut to Happy Burger that night. The camera pans down from a shot of the
building, past the restaurant's mascot, a fat boy eating a burger, and
stops on the building again. A black stretch-limousine pulls into the
parking lot and heads toward the drive-through lane. Cut to the back of
the building. The car pulls up and stops at another fat boy fitted with
a speaker and mic. The window of the limo lowers.
Voice: Welcome to Happy Burger. May I take your order, please?
Trick: Diet soda. Medium.
Voice: That'll be eighty-nine cents at the window, sir.
Trick raises the window, and the car pulls forward. Cut inside the car.
Trick: Sunnydale. (looks at the man next to him) Town's got quaint. And
the people? (smiles) He called me 'sir'. Don't you just miss that? I
mean, admittedly, it's not a haven for the brothers, you know, strictly
the Caucasian Persuasion here in the Dale. But, you know, you just gotta
stand up and salute their death rate. I ran a statistical analysis,
(smiles) and hello darkness. It makes... D.C. look... like Mayberry, and
ain't nobody saying boo about it. We could fit right in here. Have us
The shot cuts to the other man, hidden in shadow.
Kakistos: (growls) We're here for one thing.
He pulls his cloven hand from Trick's knee. Trick looks at it,
Trick: Kill the Slayer, yeah. Still, big picture...
He lowers the window again, and looks out. Cut outside. He hands the boy
at the window a dollar. The boy hands him back the soda, a straw and his
Boy: (smiles) Have a nice night, sir.
Trick: (smiles) Right back at ya. (sits back)
Cut inside the limo.
Kakistos: The Slayer. I'm going to rip her spine from her body, and I'm
going to eat her heart and suck the marrow from her bones.
Trick considers that for a moment, smacking his lips.
Trick: Now I'm hungry.
Cut outside. Trick lunges out of the window, vamped out. The boy is
shocked, and tries to move away, but Trick already has him by the shirt.
The boy screams as Trick pulls him out of the building and part way into
the limousine. The car takes off with the boy's legs kicking outside the
window. The limo screeches through the parking lot and into the street.
The camera stops on the Happy Burger mascot, its mouth wide open to take
another bite from the burger that it's holding.
Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~
The Bronze. "The Background" by Third Eye Blind begins to play as the
camera approaches the door. Cut inside. The camera pans past several
couples dancing slowly to the music. It comes to rest on Buffy and
Angel. They hold each other close and look deeply into each other's eyes
as they slowly dance.
Lyrics: Everything is quiet
Buffy: I miss you.
At a nearby table Oz, Willow, Cordelia and Xander watch them dance.
Their faces are devoid of any expression.
Lyrics: Since you're not around
Buffy moves her left hand with her Claddagh ring down Angel's arm to
take his hand.
Lyrics: And I live in the numbness now
The ring is loose on her finger, and before she can clasp his hand it
falls off and clinks on the floor.
Lyrics: In the background
Angel and Buffy both look down at the ring.
Lyrics: I do the things we did before
Angel reaches down to pick up the ring. The music fades out.
Lyrics: I walk Haight Street to the store
Angel stands back up holding the ring. He gives Buffy a wounded look.
She looks at the ring, frightened. Suddenly she flashes back to the
mansion and sees herself thrusting the sword through Angel, and his
surprised and pained face as the vortex closes and he disappears into
Acathla's mouth with it. Her flashback is over, and the camera is on the
gang at the table again, still watching, still expressionless. Cut to
Angel and Buffy on the dance floor.
Buffy: I had to.
Angel's breath is shaky. He looks down at the ring in his fingers. He
clenches it in his fist. Blood begins to ooze from between his fingers
and drip to the floor. He looks intensely at Buffy.
Angel: I loved you.
Buffy watches aghast as the blood continues to drip. Then a bloodstain
appears on his shirt at mid-chest. It grows quickly and begins to soak
the front of his shirt. Buffy draws a frightened, worried breath and
reaches out to his wound.
Buffy: Oh, God! Angel...
Angel: (yells) GO TO HELL!
He stares at her with intense anger in his eyes. Buffy looks up from his
chest wound to his face. It has turned green, and one side is rotting.
Angel smiles and laughs smugly as he looks back at her.
Angel: I did.
Cut to Buffy's room. She wakes from her dream with a start and jerks her
head from the pillow. Realizing it was only a dream, she puts her hand
to her head and pulls it back through her hair. She sits up in bed and
looks over at her nightstand. She reaches over, pulls open the drawer
and lifts out a chain on which she has placed her Claddagh ring. She
sits up straight in her bed and looks closely at the ring again: two
hands for friendship, a crown for loyalty and a heart for love. Her
mother knocks on her door and pokes her head in.
Joyce: Morning, Sunshine! (smiles) Ready to face the beast?
Cut to Snyder's office. He sits behind his desk, calmly giving it to
Snyder: Here are the terms of your re-entry, Missy. Take 'em or leave
Buffy takes a letter opener from his desk and begins to play with it.
Snyder: One: that you pass a makeup test of every class you skipped out
on last year.
Buffy looks around absentmindedly and taps the letter opener on her
Snyder: Two: that you provide, in writing, one *glowing* letter of
recommendation from any member of our faculty who is not an English
Buffy's tapping is beginning to annoy him.
Snyder: Three: that you complete an interview (stands up) with our
school psychologist (walks around his desk toward Buffy) who must
conclude that your violent tendencies...
He pauses for a moment, then snatches the letter opener from Buffy's
Snyder: ...are under control.
Joyce: I'm not sure I like your attitude, Mr. Snyder. I spoke with the
school board, and according to them...
Snyder: (walks back around his desk) I'm required to educate every
juvenile who is not in jail where she belongs.
He stops and looks out the window with his back to them.
Snyder: Welcome back.
Joyce and Buffy give each other a smile. Buffy stands up.
Buffy: So let me get this straight. I'm really back in school because
the school board *overruled* you. (Snyder faces her) Wow. That's like
having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you
think about it.
Joyce: (gets up also) I think what my daughter's trying to say is...
(sing-song) Nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah, nyah.
She gives Snyder a defiant look, and the two women turn and walk out of
the office, proud of themselves. Snyder just blankly watches them go.
The intercom on his desk buzzes.
Secretary: It's the Mayor on line one.
Snyder's eyes quickly widen with worry.
Cut to the library. Willow and Buffy walk in. The place seems to be
empty of people.
Willow: It's so great that you're a schoolgirl again.
Buffy: Giles say what he wanted? Do you think he's mad?
They stop at the counter. There are bowls and jars of various dried
herbs arrayed on it.
Willow: No, I don't think so. I think he just needed to see you.
(glances around) (smiling) Have you ever noticed, though, when he *is*
mad, but he's too English to say anything, he makes that weird cluck-
cluck sound with his tongue?
Giles suddenly rises up from behind the counter and looks at the things
he's laid out on the counter.
Buffy: Hi, Giles! (raises her eyebrows at Willow and smiles)
Willow: (turns to face him, looking worried) Oh, hi! Been there long?
Giles: (preoccupied) Buffy, good timing. (looks around behind the
counter) I could use your help. I trust you remember the demon Acathla?
Buffy: Giles, contain yourself. Yes, I'm back in school, but you know
how it embarrasses me when you gush so. (Giles looks up from his
searching) Let's just skip all that and get straight to work.
Giles: (slowly straightens up) Oh, ahhhh... Well, I, um... Well-w... O-
o-of course, it's wonderful to have you back, i-i-it goes without
saying. (Buffy raises her eyebrows at him and smiles) But... (notices
Buffy's look) You enjoy making me say it, don't you?
He sets his glasses on his nose and continues looking around. Buffy
plays with a bowl on the counter.
Buffy: Okay, Acathla, huh? What are you doing, making him some demon
She picks up a bundle of sage, sniffs it and frowns. She holds it over
for Willow to sniff, who smiles.
Giles: We need to make sure that he remains dormant and that the
dimensional vortex is sealed tight. So I'm working on a binding spell.
Willow: (perks up) Oh, a spell? Can I help?
Giles: Possibly, with the research. It's very sensitive and...
Willow: (sounding hurt) Oh! Who's more sensitive than me?
Giles: ...and difficult spell. (Willow frowns) It involves creating a-
a-a protective circle around... Well, I don't want to bore you with the
details, but, uh, well, there's a litany th-that one has to recite in
Aramaic, and it's very specific. So I need to get a few details about
your experience of defeating Acathla and Angel.
He starts ingredient hunting again.
Buffy: (considers for a moment) Fire away.
Giles: I've put the time at about, um, (checks his notes) 6:17, around,
about half an hour after Xander rescued me. (comes back to the counter)
Buffy: Less. More like ten minutes.
Giles: Oh, was the vortex already open?
Giles: I see. And Angel?
Buffy: A big fight, Angel got the pointy end of the sword, Acathla
sucked him into Hell instead of the world. That's about the it.
Giles: (writes a few notes) Yes, well, that, um... should be very
Buffy: (checks her watch) Oh, no, I have to go take an English makeup
exam. (gets her pile of books from the counter) They give you credit
just for speaking it, right?
She just gets looks from Giles and Willow.
Buffy: (whines) Oh...
She heads out the door to go take her exam. Willow picks up the bundle
of sage and sniffs it some more.
Willow: Mm, sage. I love that smell. (reaches into a jar) And marnox
root. You know, a smidge of this mixed with a virgin's saliva... (gets a
look from Giles) Does something I know nothing about.
Giles: These forces are not something that one plays around with,
Willow. What have you been conjuring?
Willow: Nothing... much. Well, you know, I tried this spell to cure
Angel, and I guess that was a bust. But since then, you know, small
stuff: floating feather, fire out of ice, which next time I won't do on
the bedspread. (Giles looks down) Are you mad at me?
Giles: (looks up) No, of course not, no. If I were, I would be making a
strange clucking sound with my tongue.
Willow is embarrassed and smiles cutely up at him.
Cut to the Bronze. The band tonight is Darling Violetta, playing "Cure".
The camera pans into the dance area and pauses on the band for a moment.
Most couples are dancing normally, but there's one couple that is a bit
more energetic about it.
Lyrics: I've given you every part of me / Tried everything I could to
make you see
Another couple leaves the dance floor, and the camera follows them until
they pass by an alcove furnished like a turn-of-the-century parlor, with
a love seat, a couple of armchairs, tables and a lamp with a pink shade.
A couple is sitting on the loveseat having some romantic smoochies.
Lyrics: But you don't love yourself
Buffy walks into view from behind carrying drinks and heads for them.
Cut to the couple on the loveseat. It's Willow and Oz. Buffy crosses in
front of the camera and sits in an adjacent chair.
Buffy: Don't let me interrupt.
Willow and Oz look up from their kissing. Willow sits up. Buffy smiles
and hands Oz one of the drinks.
Lyrics: You can't love me or anyone else
Willow notices Buffy's cheery mood and smiles as Oz accepts another
drink from her and passes one to Willow.
Willow: Are you... (to Oz) Is she all glowy?
Buffy rolls her eyes up to the right and gives them an innocent look.
Oz: Yeah, I suspect happiness.
Buffy: (smiles) I passed my English makeup exam, hangin' with my
friends. Hello, my life, how I've missed you.
Lyrics: You said I was the best thing in your life
Scott approaches them.
Willow: Hi, Scott. What are you doing here?
Scott: (gives her a smile) You told me if I came after 8:00, I could
run into Buffy.
Lyrics: Is that why you run, why you hide?
Buffy shoots Willow a look. Willow is embarrassed and hides behind her
drink, taking a big gulp.
Scott: (to Buffy, smiling) Uh, I'm sorry. I'm a bad liar. It's not good
for the soul. (gestures at his face) O-o-or the skin, actually. It makes
Lyrics: You will never be the cure
Buffy: Hi, Scott. (smiles)
Things are a bit awkward now, and Scott looks around for something to
Lyrics: And you will never change
Scott: Don't you love this song?
Buffy: Uh, yeah! Actually, I do.
Lyrics: You will never be the cure
Scott: Well, would you like to... (indicates the dance floor)
Buffy: Dance? Um...
Willow smiles at her encouragingly.
Lyrics: And you will never change
Buffy: I don't know. (Willow frowns) I'm bad with... Well...
Lyrics: You will never be the cure
Buffy: (fidgets) Thank you for asking, it's just that there...
Scott: Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna go stand by the dance floor.
If you change your mind, you can mosey on over, and then if not, then
you don't mosey. No harm, no foul, right?
Buffy: (halfheartedly) Right.
Lyrics: I've given you every part of me
Scott walks off to find a place to wait. Buffy rolls her eyes and flops
her head back, mentally kicking herself for the way she handled that.
Willow: (very disappointed) Come on, Buffy. I mean, the guy is charm,
a-and normal, which is what you wanted to get back to.
Lyrics: Tried everything I could to make you see
Oz: Plus bonus points for use of the word 'mosey'.
Buffy: I just don't think I'm ready.
Willow: What's stopping you?
Lyrics: But you don't love yourself
Cordelia and Xander walk up.
Cordelia: Check out Slut-O-Rama and her Disco Dave.
She points and looks onto the dance floor as she and Xander sit on a low
table against a wall. The camera cuts to the energetically dancing
couple. Although the girl's style is more contemporary, the guy is
dancing way too fast for the music, with an unmistakable 70's disco
Cordelia: What was the last thing that guy danced to, K.C. and the
Willow and Oz both cock their heads to look at them.
Lyrics: You can't love me or anyone else
The couple continues to dance, getting close and touching each other at
one point, then separating again.
Lyrics: You said I was the best thing in your life
Buffy begins to really wonder about them. The couple gets close again,
and the girl extends her arm, pointing at the door. The guy takes the
hint, and leads her out with his arm around her. Buffy watches them go,
suspicious of his intentions. She sees him say bye to his buddy and head
for the door.
Buffy: I don't think that guy thrives on sunshine.
She quickly puts down her drink and starts out after them. As she
crosses the room behind the dance floor, Scott sees her coming and steps
over to intercept her.
Buffy: (stops short, startled) Hi. Oh, (frowns) no, I... (points at the
door) I-I have to...
Scott: (gets it) Oh. Uh, uh, sorry, my bad.
Buffy: (apologetic) No. I-it's mine. Really, it's mine, but I...
(glances back at the others) I-I-I have to go. (hurries out)
Scott is very confused, and just watches her leave.
Cut outside. Buffy strides out and looks around. Xander comes out right
behind her followed closely by the others.
Buffy: Where'd she go?
She takes a few steps down the alley to the left to check things out.
The others looks around also.
Cordelia: I bet it's nothing. They're probably just making out.
Buffy comes back. They hear a girl call out in a complaining tone.
They also hear a loud noise, as though something was just broken. Xander
pulls a stake out of his jacket. Buffy takes it from him and heads in
the direction of the noise.
Willow: That's not what making out sounds like, unless I'm doing it
They all follow Buffy.
Cut to the couple from the dance floor. The boy has the girl up against
a section of temporary chain link fencing that's leaning against the
Boy: Stop struggling. This won't hurt.
The boy vamps out and moves in to bite the girl. She grabs him by the
neck, pushes him away a bit and elbow jabs him in the face. He staggers
back and regains his balance as she jumps onto a crate. She does a
jumping roundhouse kick to his face, knocking him to the pavement. Buffy
arrives. The girl notices her and approaches, smiling.
Girl: It's okay, I got it. You're, uh, Buffy, right?
Buffy is taken aback. Just as she's about to answer, the vampire comes
up behind the girl and grabs her by the shoulders. She snaps her head
back to head butt him in the face and grabs onto his arm.
Faith: I'm Faith.
She twists the vampire around and shoves him into the section of chain
Oz: (to Willow) I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's a new Slayer
Faith knees him in the gut from behind. The vamp whirls around and tries
to backhand punch her, but she easily ducks it. She punches him in the
gut and then again in the face. Everyone just watches her fight. Xander
follows her moves with jerks of his head. She does a high side kick to
the vampire's jaw, grabs onto his shirt and neck and throws him to the
ground. The vamp does a no-hand front roll to control his fall while
Faith reaches over to Buffy for the stake and jerks it from her hand.
Faith: Can I borrow that?
The vampire uses the momentum of his roll to get back to his feet and
runs at Faith, throwing a punch as he comes. She ducks it, hooks her
hand on his shoulder, turns him around and pushes him back into the
fence. She raises the stake and jams it cleanly into his chest and jerks
it back out. The vampire instantly crumbles into ashes. Buffy stares in
confused amazement. Faith faces her and hands her back the stake.
Faith: Thanks, B. Couldn't have done it without you.
She just continues walking past them all. Buffy turns to stare after
her, unsure how to react.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~
The Bronze. The camera follows a waitress holding a tray of six muffins
past the pastry counter and into an alcove where Faith has joined the
gang and is relating one of her stories to them.
Faith: The whole summer it was, like, the worst heat wave. So it's
about a hundred and eighteen degrees and I'm sleeping without a stitch
The waitress sets the tray on a table and leaves.
Faith: And all of a sudden, I hear this screaming from outside. So I go
tearing out, stark nude, (Xander looks down at her body, licking his
lips) and this church bus has broke down, and there's these three vamps
feasting (Buffy listens calmly) on half the Baptists in South Boston.
(Willow listens intently) So I waste the vamps, and the preacher comes
up, and he's hugging me like there's no tomorrow, when all of a sudden,
the cops pull up and they arrested us both.
She reaches for a muffin. Xander stares blankly ahead of himself, trying
to picture the scene.
Xander: Wow. They should film that story and show it every Christmas.
Cordelia, sitting next to him with her arms and legs crossed, turns her
head to him and gives him a look. Faith tears into the muffin.
Faith: God, I could eat a horse. Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always
makes you hungry and horny? (gobbles a piece)
The others all turn their heads to look at Buffy. She stares back wide-
eyed and suddenly uncomfortable.
Buffy: Well... Sometimes I-I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards.
A look of sudden revelation washes across Cordelia's face, and she
Cordelia: I get it.
Faith gives her a confused look.
Cordelia: Not the horny thing. Yuck! But the two Slayer thing. There
was one, and then Buffy died for, like, two minutes, so then Kendra was
called, and then when she died, Faith was called.
Faith gives her a nod.
Willow: But why were you called here?
Faith: Well, I wasn't. My Watcher went off to some retreat thing in
England, and so I skipped out. I figured this was my chance to meet the
infamous Buff and compare notes. (Buffy gives her a little smile) So, B,
did you really use a rocket launcher one time?
Buffy: Uh, yeah, (leans forward) actually, it's a funny story. There
Xander: (interrupts) So what was the, uh, story about that alligator?
You, uh, said something... before.
Faith: (with lots of gesturing) Oh, there's this Big Daddy Vampire out
of Missouri who used to keep them as pets. So he's got me rasslin' one
of 'em, okay? The thing must have been twelve feet (3.7 m) long and
Xander: (interrupts) So was this, um, ahem, also naked?
Faith: (teases) Well, the alligator was. (laughs)
Xander smiles at her and laughs also.
Cordelia: Xander? (glares when he looks) Find a new theme.
Faith: (shakes her head) I tell ya, I never had more trouble than that
damn vamp. (to Buffy) So what about you? What was your toughest kill?
Buffy lowers her eyes and has another flashback to stabbing Angel in the
chest with the sword, and his look of surprise and pain. She comes back
and shakes herself out of her reverie.
Buffy: Um, well, you know, (smiles weakly) they're all difficult, I
Faith waits for a story and takes a drink.
Buffy: Uh... (remembers) Oh! Oh, do you guys remember the Three?
They all look back inquisitively.
Buffy: That's right, you never met the Three. Well, there was three...
Oz: (interrupts) Something occurring. Uh, now, you both kill vamps, and
who could blame you, but, I'm, I'm wondering about your position on
Willow: (put her hand on his shoulder) Oz is a werewolf.
Buffy: It's a long story. (grins)
Oz: (shrugs) I got bit.
Buffy: Apparently not that long.
Faith: (considers briefly) Hey, as long as you don't go scratchin' at
me or humpin' my leg, we're five-by-five, you know?
Oz: Fair enough.
Faith: The vamps, though, they better get their asses to DEFCON ONE,
(points to Buffy) 'cause you and I are gonna have fun, you know,
Watcherless and fancy-free. (smiles)
Faith: (looks around at everyone) Didn't yours go to England, too?
Cut to the library. Giles stands at the end of the table with his hands
in his pockets, reminiscing about the gatherings.
Giles: There's a Watchers' retreat every year in the Cotswolds. (walks
to the other end of the table) It's a lovely spot. It's very s-serene.
(everyone listens) There's horse riding and hiking and punting (smiles)
and lectures and discussions. It-i-it's... it's a great honor to be
invited. (a tad bitter) Or so I'm told.
Faith: Oh, it's boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you.
Buffy: Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is *Giles*.
Faith: I see him. If I'd've known they came *that* young and cute, I
would've requested a transfer.
Giles takes off his glasses.
Buffy: (grossed out) Raise your hand if 'ew'. (raises her hand)
Xander raises his, but hides it by scratching his cheek.
Giles: (chuckles) Well, um, uh, leaving aside for a moment my, uh,
youth and beauty, (goes to the copier) I'd-I'd say it was, um, (grabs
the newspaper) fortuitous that Faith arrived when she did. (comes back
Willow: (shoots up her finger) (loudly) Aha!
They all look at her.
Willow: Sorry. I just meant... (shoots up her finger again) (loudly)
aha! There's big evil brewin'. You'll never be bored here, Faith. (Faith
grins at her) 'Cause this is Sunnydale, home of the big brewin' evil.
Giles: Yes, well, I don't know how big an evil it is, but, uh, two
people have disappeared from the Sunset Ridge District.
He hands Buffy the newspaper. She and Faith quickly scan the article.
Buffy: Well, I'm good for patrolling. Late-ish, though. I promised Mom
I'd be home for dinner.
She hands Xander the paper. Willow nods toward Faith while looking at
Buffy with big eyes. Buffy turns her eyes to Faith, and gets the hint.
Buffy: Um, to which you're also invited, of course, dinner with us.
Faith: Dyin' to meet the fam. I'm in.
Buffy: Great! Great, then we can patrol, (less than thrilled) also
Willow: Hey, don't you have that health science makeup?
Buffy: Oh, yeah. Actually, I could use a little coaching.
Willow hops off of the table, smiling. Xander grabs his things behind
Willow: (to Faith) You know, you can hang out with us while she's
testing. You wanna?
Buffy mumbles to herself, realizing she's just become invisible to them.
Xander: Say yes and, uh, bring your stories. (smiles as he walks out
Buffy: (goes to the table) You guys go. It's fine. Fine! I'll just...
Faith: (to Buffy) Okay. Hey, later. (to Giles) *We* will talk weapons.
She follows Xander and Willow out of the library. Giles watches her go.
Giles: (points) This, um, this new girl seems to (sits on the table)
have a lot of zest. (smiles)
Buffy glares up at him. He quickly changes the subject.
Giles: I-I-I've been having a little problem with the, uh, binding
spell for Acathla. I-I-I'm lacking the, the requisite details to perform
it correctly. Now, physical location. Acathla was facing south?
Buffy: Mm-hm. (points to three positions on the table) Acathla, Angel,
me. (makes a jabbing gesture through the three positions) Sword. (looks
up at him)
Giles: Now, see, that's what I thought, but I...
Buffy: (interrupts and stands up) Giles, look, I've got makeup tests to
pass, (pulls on her backpack) missing people in Sunset Ridge, and a
zesty new Slayer to feed. (grabs her books) Next time I kill Angel, I'll
She walks out of the library to go take her test. Giles seems confused.
Cut to the hall. Willow, Faith and Xander come in through the door at
the end of the hall. They are giving Faith the tour.
Willow: And over here, we have the cafeteria, (points at the door)
where we were mauled by snakes.
Xander: (points down) And this is the spot where Angel tried to kill
Willow: Oh, (points, smiling) and over there in the lounge is where
Spike and his gang nearly massacred us all on Parent-Teacher night.
Faith is finding it all pretty incredible, and smiles. They reach the
stairs, and Willow points up to the landing.
Willow: Oh, a-and up those stairs, I was sucked into a muddy grave.
They stop walking.
Xander: And they say young people don't learn anything in high school
nowadays, but, um, I've learned to be afraid. (smiles)
Willow nods in agreement.
Faith: (grins and laughs) You guys are a hoot and a half. If I'd had
friends like you in high school, I... probably still would've dropped
out. But I might've been sad about it, you know?
Willow and Xander give her understanding nods and exchange a smile.
Faith: (crosses her arms) Hey, so what's up with B? I mean, she seems
wound kinda tight. Needs to find the fun a little? Like you two.
Willow: Well, um, she...
Faith: (spies the drinking fountain and points) Oh. Water.
Willow and Xander turn to watch her go to the fountain. Cordelia
approaches behind them.
Xander: Oh, and then the alligator story! (to Willow) She's got
something, doesn't she?
Cordelia: What is it with you and Slayers? (Xander jerks around to face
her) Maybe I should dress up as one and put a stake to your throat.
Xander: Please, God, don't let that be sarcasm. (takes her arm and
The camera moves over to Faith finishing her drink. Scott comes out of
the cafeteria and almost bumps into her. She jumps back.
Scott: Oh. Excuse me.
Faith: Sorry. (looks at him curiously) I know you from somewhere.
Scott: (recognizes her also) The Bronze. You're friends with Buffy,
Faith: Yeah. I'm Faith. (holds out her hand)
Scott: (accepts it) I'm Scott. Nice to meet you.
Faith: Nice to meet you!
They let go of their handshake. Buffy comes hopping down the stairs and
joins Xander, Cordelia and Willow.
Buffy: Well, I'm two for two with makeup tests. Proud, yes, but also
humble in this time of... (notices them all staring) We're looking at
She looks also and sees Scott talking and laughing with Faith.
Cordelia: Does anyone believe that is her actual hair color?
She rolls her eyes in disbelief and walks away.
Willow: I haven't seen him laugh like that. Hey, maybe Faith and Scott
could hit it off. (Buffy looks at her) I mean, if you're done with him.
(realizes she's doing it again) Not that you used him.
She furrows her brow, sighs and shuts up while she still can. Buffy
looks back at the two of them talking.
Buffy: Well, I... hadn't definitely one hundred percent said no for all
time. It's just, you know... You don't enter into these things lightly,
you know. There's, there's repercussions to consider and...
She sees Willow and Xander exchange a look.
Buffy: Why am I seeing a look?
Willow: (looks at her) You really *do* need to find the fun, B.
Buffy looks at Willow in surprise.
Buffy sighs and decides to head over to Faith and Scott.
Buffy: (smiles) Hey!
Scott: Hey, Buffy! Uh, Faith has been telling me tall tales.
Buffy: (smiles big) She's funny. (takes her arm) And she's leaving. We
have to go.
Scott: (disappointed) Oh...
Buffy pulls her away and down the hall.
Faith: (gestures back) He's a cutie. Is he seeing anybody?
Buffy just ignores her and continues down the hall.
Cut to a warehouse where Kakistos and Trick are holed up. The lights are
low and candles are burning everywhere. Trick is typing away on his
Kakistos: Mr. Trick, talk to me.
Trick: (looks up) Check this out. (walks over) This town, this very
street, wired for fiber optics. (grins widely) See, we jack in a T-3,
um, twenty-five hundred megs per, we have the whole *world* at our
Kakistos looks up at him, not really understanding.
Trick: What I'm saying is, (grins) we stay local--where the humans are
jumpin' and the cotton is high--but we live global. I mean, you know,
you get the hankering for the blood of a fifteen-year-old Filipina, and
I'm on the 'Net and she's here the next day, express air. (smiles
Kakistos: (losing his patience) I want the blood of the Slayer.
Trick can't believe Kakistos' shortsightedness, and looks aside for a
Trick: On that note, there's good news and bad. Rumor has it that this
town already has a Slayer, which makes two. (shakes his head) I'm not
real sure how that happened.
Kakistos: (jumps up from his chair, shouting) I don't care if there're
a *hundred* Slayers! I'll kill them all! (indicates his scarred, blinded
eye) She's going to pay for what she did to me.
Trick: (nods) Yeah, she is. (there's a knocking at the door) I'm
running a computer check on every hotel, rooming house and youth hostel
in town. (goes to get a welder's glove) Meanwhile, as soon as the sun
goes down, (pulls on the glove) we're out in force. (heads for the door)
Food's here, boys.
He opens the door, hiding behind it from the bright daylight outside.
The Pizza Man looks in.
Pizza Man: You guys order a piz...
Trick lunges out with his gloved arm, grabs him by the shirt and yanks
him in. The pizza falls to the floor along with the delivery man as
Trick slams the door shut again. He roars and bends down for lunch.
Cut to the Summers house. Joyce is serving dinner to Faith.
Joyce: So you're a Slayer, too. Isn't that interesting! (smiles) Do you
like it? (sets down the bowl)
Faith: God, I love it!
Buffy: (wants the bowl) Uh, Mom?
Joyce: (waves her off) Uh, just a second, honey. (scoops broccoli onto
Faith's plate) You know, Buffy never talks that way. Why do you love it?
Buffy gives up and grabs a pair of tongs to take some fries for herself.
Faith: Well, when I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away and
I only know one thing: that I'm gonna win and they're gonna lose. I like
that feelin'. (digs into her food)
Joyce smiles at that and takes her seat.
Buffy: Well, sure. Beats that dead feeling you get when they win and
Faith: I don't let that kind of negative thinking in.
Joyce: (points at Faith) Right. (shakes her finger) Right. That could
get you hurt. Buffy can be awfully negative sometimes. (to Buffy) See,
honey, you gotta fight that. (smiles)
Buffy: (smiles back weakly) I'm working on it. (keeps taking fries)
Joyce: (notices Faith's empty glass) Oh, Faith, can I get you another
Faith: (hands over the glass) Oh, you bet.
Joyce: Right. (goes into the kitchen)
Faith: She's really cool, huh?
Buffy: Best mom ever. (looks back into the kitchen) Excuse me.
She gets up and goes. Faith grabs a bottle of hot sauce, gives it a
sniff and grimaces.
Cut to the kitchen. Joyce gets out a bottle of cola, brings it to the
island and opens it.
Joyce: I like this girl, Buffy. (pours the soda)
Buffy: She's very personable. (sits on a stool) She gets along with my
friends, my Watcher, my mom. (leans back and looks into the dining room)
Look, now she's getting along with my fries. (leans forward)
Joyce: (closes the soda bottle) Now, Buffy...
Buffy: Plus, at school today, she was making eyes at my not-boyfriend.
This is creepy.
Joyce: (crosses her arms) Does anybody else think Faith is creepy?
Buffy: (pouts) No, but I'm the one getting single-white-femaled here.
Joyce: (nods) It's probably good you were an only child.
Buffy: Mom, I'm just getting my life back. I'm not looking to go
halfsies on it.
Joyce: Well, there are some things I'd be happy to see you share. Like
the slaying. I mean, two of you fighting is safer than one, right?
Buffy: I guess.
Joyce: Unless, I mean, you heard her. She *loves* the slaying. (leans
over the island) Couldn't she take over for you?
Buffy: Mom, no one can take over for me.
Joyce: But you're going to college next year. I think it would be...
Buffy: Mom, the only way you get a new Slayer is when the old Slayer
This quickly registers in Joyce's mind, and she straightens back up.
Buffy realizes she's just said way too much.
Joyce: Then that means you... (upset) When did you die? You never told
me you died!
Buffy: No, i-it was just for a few minutes.
Joyce: (starts to pace nervously) Oh, I hate this. I hate your life.
Buffy: Mom, I...
Joyce: (faces her daughter) Look, I-I know you didn't choose this, I
know it chose you. (takes a breath) I have tried to march in the 'Slayer
Pride' parade, but... (suddenly very solemn) I don't want you to die.
Buffy lowers her eyes, shakes her head and gives her mother a warm hug.
Buffy: I'm not gonna die. I know how to do my job. (releases the hug)
Besides, like you said, I've got help now.
She looks into the living room to see Faith picking at everything in
sight and stuffing it into her mouth.
Buffy: (raises her eyebrows) I've got all the help I can stand.
Cut to an alley at night. There is construction equipment lying around.
Buffy and Faith come strolling along, looking around for any vampires.
Faith: Didn't we, um, do this street already?
Buffy: Funny thing about vamps. They'll hit a street even *after*
you've been there. It's like they have no manners.
Faith: (shrugs) Mm. You've been doing this the longest.
Buffy: I have.
Faith: Yeah. Maybe a little *too* long.
Buffy: (looks at Faith) Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?
Buffy: You got a problem?
Faith: (spreads her arms) I'm five-by-five, B, living entirely large,
actually wondering about (points at her) *your* problem.
Buffy: Well, I may not sleep in the nude and rassle alligators...
Faith: Maybe it's time you started, 'cause obviously *something* in
your bottle needs uncorking. What is it, (gestures wildly) the, the
Angel thing? (keeps looking around)
Buffy: (stops in her tracks) What do you know about Angel?
Faith: (faces her, copping an attitude) Just what your friends tell me:
big love, big loss. You oughta deal and move on, but you're not.
Buffy: (steps closer) I got an idea: how about from now on, we don't
hear from you on Angel or anything else in my life. Which, by the way,
is *my* life.
Faith: What are you getting so strung out for, B?
Buffy: Why are your lips still moving, F?
Faith: Did I just hear a threat?
Buffy: Would you like to?
Faith: Wow. Think you can take me?
Buffy: Yeah. (looks over Faith's shoulder) I just hope they can't.
She shoves Faith aside as a vampire attacks, making her fall to the
ground. Buffy punches the vamp in the gut, and he goes flying onto his
back. A second one comes in and takes a swing at Buffy, but she ducks
him. She middle blocks his wide punch and low blocks his next punch. She
then punches him in the face and the gut. She takes his head in both
hands and twists. His body follows the motion, and he log rolls down to
the ground. Faith gets back up and grabs a nearby trashcan. A third
vampire runs in and punches Buffy in the face. He goes around behind her
and trips her with his outstretched leg, making her fall to the ground.
Behind him Faith crams the trashcan down over his head, blinding him.
She takes hold of the can and pushes him into a sheet of drywall. The
board breaks and falls on top of him as he falls over. One of the others
dives for Buffy, but she rolls out of the way and onto her feet.
Immediately she crouches down and stakes him in the chest. He bursts
into ashes. The other one grabs her from behind and pulls her away.
Faith's opponent is back up, and she spins around once and does a side
kick, getting him in the stomach. The kick forces him back, and he
knocks his head hard into a low pipe behind him. Buffy's attacker throws
her onto a stack of plywood. She hits the wall behind it, but quickly
gets to her feet. The vampire jumps onto the stack just in time to be
side kicked in the stomach. He flies back and lands on a dumpster hard
on his back, rolls off and falls to the ground. Faith's assailant
punches her in the face, but she isn't fazed in the least. She blocks
two punches with her forearms and then backhand punches him in the face.
Faith: My dead mother hits harder than that!
She grabs him by the sweater and throws him onto a couple of sheets of
drywall laid across two sawhorses. They break instantly under his
weight. She runs up to him, grabs his sweater and punches him in the
face. Buffy flips her opponent in an awkward open front layout, and he
lands hard on a large duct pipe, which crushes under him. She looks over
at Faith, who is whaling away on her vampire with continuous punches to
Buffy: Faith! Stake him already and give me a hand!
Still another vampire grabs her by her jacket and throws her to the
ground. She lands on her stomach near a piece of wood lying there. The
vampire and her original attacker both make a grab for her. Meanwhile
Faith keeps whaling on her victim.
Faith: This is *me*, (punch) you un (punch) dead (punch) bastard!
Buffy reaches desperately for the piece of two-by-four in front of her.
Vampire: For Kakistos we live! For Kakistos you'll die!
Buffy glances up at him for an instant, then continues desperately
clawing for the hunk of wood.
Buffy: (screams) FAITH!
Faith pays her no attention and just keeps punching her vampire to a
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~
The alley. Buffy keeps reaching for the two-by-four. Faith continues her
pounding. Buffy finally manages to grab the board, and she swings it up
and beans one of the vampires in the face with it, and turning to the
other, push kicks him off of her. She quickly gets to her feet and looks
over at Faith.
The one she kicked off makes a grab at her from behind, and she
instinctively turns and jams the makeshift stake home. The vampire
crumbles to ashes. She drops the hunk of wood, reaches into her jacket
for a proper stake and heads over to Faith. Faith is still whaling on
the vampire, long after he's too dazed to fight back.
Faith: You (punch) can't (punch) touch (punch) me!
She shakes the vampire a bit before going back to punching him. Buffy
comes up behind her, grabs her by the waist and pulls her off of him.
She them thrusts down with her stake and dusts him. Without skipping a
beat she confronts Faith with her behavior.
Buffy: What is wrong with you?
Faith: What are you talking about?
Buffy: I'm talking about you 'living large' on that vampire!
Faith: Gee, if doing violence to vampires upsets you, I think you're in
the wrong line of work!
Buffy: Yeah, or maybe you like it a little too much.
Faith: I was getting the job done.
Buffy: The job is to slay demons! *Not* beat them to a bloody pulp
while their friends corner me!
Faith: (shrugs) I thought you could handle yourself. (walks off)
Buffy lets out an exasperated sigh.
Cut to the school halls the next day. Buffy and Giles come out of the
cafeteria and walk toward the library.
Giles: What you must realize, Buffy, is that you and Faith have very
different temperaments. (sips his coffee)
Buffy: Yeah, and mine's the sane one. (Giles chuckles) The girl's not
playing with a full deck, Giles. She has almost no deck. She has a
Giles: You said yourself that she-she killed one. Sh-she-she's just a
plucky fighter who got a little carried away. Which is natural. She's
focused on the slaying. She doesn't have a whole other life here, as you
Buffy: She doesn't need a life. She has mine.
Giles: I think you're being a little...
Buffy: No, I'm being a lot. (Giles sips again) I know that. But she
nearly got us both killed. The girl needs help.
Giles: All right. I'll see if I can reach her Watcher at the retreat.
They're (checks his watch) eight hours ahead now. I guess they're
probably sitting down to a nightcap.